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Language Learning & Introversion | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : General discussion |  | |
| tarvos Super Polyglot Winner TAC 2012 Senior Member China likeapolyglot.wordpr Joined 4706 days ago 5310 posts - 9399 votes  Speaks: Dutch*, English, Swedish, French, Russian, German, Italian, Norwegian, Mandarin, Romanian, Afrikaans Studies: Greek, Modern Hebrew, Spanish, Portuguese, Czech, Korean, Esperanto, Finnish | Message 25 of 61 10 May 2014 at 10:27pm | IP Logged |
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The key point I would like to make is that
introversion only has something to do with the draining or recharging of energy that occurs when you attend social events. I am quite introverted but I am not shy and don't have social phobias. Introversion is most patently not a synonym for struggling socially. Edited by tarvos on 11 May 2014 at 9:12pm 3 persons have voted this message useful | |
| Penelope Diglot Senior Member Greece Joined 3868 days ago 110 posts - 155 votes Speaks: English, French Studies: Russian, Turkish, Modern Hebrew | Message 26 of 61 10 May 2014 at 10:31pm | IP Logged |
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And extroverts don t talk without stop. Not at all. I just wanted to say that.
1 person has voted this message useful | |
| betelgeuzah Diglot Groupie Finland Joined 4400 days ago 51 posts - 82 votes Speaks: Finnish*, English Studies: Japanese, Italian | Message 27 of 61 11 May 2014 at 12:41pm | IP Logged |
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Inserting one's self into these small boxes and then going around saying "I'm X!" sounds rather silly to me too. Or, rather, it sounds extremely limiting since you can justify doing or not doing many things by making you think to yourself "X is who I am. I can do nothing about it."
Then again, saying that you are "introverted" or "have asperger's" among other popular internet terms is a much more acceptable reason than being more accurate and calling yourself "a wimp". Edited by betelgeuzah on 11 May 2014 at 12:42pm 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| Bao Diglot Senior Member Germany tinyurl.com/pe4kqe5 Joined 5765 days ago 2256 posts - 4046 votes Speaks: German*, English Studies: French, Spanish, Japanese, Mandarin | Message 28 of 61 11 May 2014 at 2:15pm | IP Logged |
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betelgeuzah, there is no reason to invalidate the experience another person has just because you do not experience the same. And thinking you experience the same but dealing with it in a different way does not actually mean you experience the same.
Yes, most people are neither extreme introverts or extreme extraverts. It is still a useful way to explain why people may react differently to the same situation. Even more, it explains this difference in a way that hurts neither the person who wants to socialize more, nor the person who wants to be left alone for a while. Oddly enough, there are always people around who believe that because they force themselves to socialize when they don't really feel like it they can demand the same from everyone else. And who feel rejected when the other person chooses not to conform - or, indeed, can't conform. In my experience it's never been those people who really thrive on having a lot of social interaction, but the ones who have to force themselves who criticized me and told me how I am supposed to behave. Sometimes I wonder if I should start telling those people how easy it is to do backbends and put your feet behind you head, and laugh at them when they're not naturally flexible like I am; if I should start telling them they are stupid whenever they find it harder to take in and remember information than I do. Edited by Bao on 11 May 2014 at 4:23pm 3 persons have voted this message useful | |
| betelgeuzah Diglot Groupie Finland Joined 4400 days ago 51 posts - 82 votes Speaks: Finnish*, English Studies: Japanese, Italian | Message 29 of 61 11 May 2014 at 8:28pm | IP Logged |
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Well, I guess two things need to be clarified.
To say that the phenomenon I described doesn't exist would be rather false. People do find excuses for their lack of spine through concepts they can relate with, more often than not those concepts being the introvert/extrovert classification and asperger's syndrome. That doesn't mean that no one has asperger's or that no one is an extreme introvert by his or her very nature. The concept of introvert and extrovert is extremely valuable in itself, the issue is when some people use it as an excuse to justify their (currently) miserable/less than optimal existence instead of actually doing something about it. Edited by betelgeuzah on 11 May 2014 at 8:30pm 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| tarvos Super Polyglot Winner TAC 2012 Senior Member China likeapolyglot.wordpr Joined 4706 days ago 5310 posts - 9399 votes Speaks: Dutch*, English, Swedish, French, Russian, German, Italian, Norwegian, Mandarin, Romanian, Afrikaans Studies: Greek, Modern Hebrew, Spanish, Portuguese, Czech, Korean, Esperanto, Finnish | Message 30 of 61 11 May 2014 at 9:18pm | IP Logged |
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Serpent, you know as well as I do that plenty
of people are simply lazy. It pays off to be socially active in some situations and in that case you have to step over the discomfort of "people are scary". That's totally different from being a party animal - I hate clubs, I rather stay at home with a good book and so on. I am not talking about radically changing your social activities when we mean that introversion is used as an excuse. To function normally in society you need to be able to go out the door. There are people who are lazy and take advantage of their situation to avoid basic duties they are perfectly capable of doing. It's not rocket science. Asperger is not a term for socially awkward, it's a medical condition with particular symptoms. There are plenty of people who use the inherent vagueness in these definitions. It's denigrating to those who suffer and it's a waste of money that could be helped spending people in need. That is why I hate it when someone says I have Aspergers without the confirmation of a licensed psychiatrist. Similarly someone who says they are depressed when they mean sad grates my nerves. Same goes for introversion. It's not an excuse for being shy. No one should tell you to go party and I certainly won't. But introverts still need to deal with the real world, and when they let that suffer it is an issue. Edited by tarvos on 11 May 2014 at 9:28pm 3 persons have voted this message useful | |
| Serpent Octoglot Senior Member Russian Federation serpent-849.livejour Joined 6596 days ago 9753 posts - 15779 votes 4 sounds Speaks: Russian*, English, FinnishC1, Latin, German, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese Studies: Danish, Romanian, Polish, Belarusian, Ukrainian, Croatian, Slovenian, Catalan, Czech, Galician, Dutch, Swedish | Message 31 of 61 11 May 2014 at 9:19pm | IP Logged |
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But sometimes it's extraverts creating problems for introverts. As the article mentioned earlier says, it's acceptable to ask an introvert why they are quiet but not an extravert why they are so loud. In the modern world it can be difficult for introverts to accept themselves as they are.
edit: did tarvos mix me up with Bao? Edited by Serpent on 11 May 2014 at 9:27pm 3 persons have voted this message useful | |
| tarvos Super Polyglot Winner TAC 2012 Senior Member China likeapolyglot.wordpr Joined 4706 days ago 5310 posts - 9399 votes Speaks: Dutch*, English, Swedish, French, Russian, German, Italian, Norwegian, Mandarin, Romanian, Afrikaans Studies: Greek, Modern Hebrew, Spanish, Portuguese, Czech, Korean, Esperanto, Finnish | Message 32 of 61 11 May 2014 at 9:33pm | IP Logged |
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The world creates problems because
extroversion is neurotypical behaviour. You can say but then extroverts shouldn't create these problems - most of the times they don't. Most of the time the real world wants something from you. It requires action. That's how humanity works. It sucks but as a human being you sure do not get carte Blanche to avoid them at all costs. Sitting at home all day is simply not good for you, and I am speaking from experience as a definite introverts - I barely leave the house. It's only when I am abroad that that changes and even then I am not particularly often with people. It's about your own mental health getting screwed. If I don't leave the house then even I feel alone, and I know what that is like. No one is saying some people aren't idiots, but most of it is self-imposed. Edited by tarvos on 11 May 2014 at 9:38pm 1 person has voted this message useful |
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