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 Language Learning Forum : Language Learning Log |  | |
| Luso Hexaglot Senior Member Portugal Joined 6004 days ago 819 posts - 1812 votes  Speaks: Portuguese*, French, EnglishC2, GermanB1, Italian, Spanish Studies: Sanskrit, Arabic (classical) | Message 17 of 24 30 July 2014 at 12:47am | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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In 1996, I wanted to certify my knowledge of English. I took a test and got placed in the last level of the local British Council. I don't know its former name, but now it would be a C2.
In my first essay I got a 13 (out of 20). I thought it was a bad score, but most of my classmates got grades between 6 and 9! I improved my skills and a couple of months later I was getting 16-17. Near the date of the exam, the teacher talked to each one of us. To me, he said: "You have a very good level of English. I can't claim the responsibility for it, as you only joined us three months ago. Anyway, I think you may get a B, or even an A. Keep in mind that these grades don't get awarded often." I acknowledged his honesty and took the hint: I had to stay focused and keep my wits about me to get a good score. In the end, I got a grade level "A" (in all categories). So much for my credentials. Now for the matter at hand: having gone through many standard international tests along the years, I know that they tend to get stingy as the grades get higher. I'm also surprised about the praise your texts received in this thread. They are good, but you are aiming for a CPE "A", aren't you? And since you asked us to be ruthless... ;) So, here goes: you should broaden your vocabulary and avoid repetition (at this level, style does matter... if you want to stand out, that is). You'll probably tackle this while reviewing your text, but it's always good to remember that. In my humble opinion, your small problems are (some already pointed out by forum mates): "the younger generation does not regard" "essential for both psychological" => clarity "and traditions. The latter have developed" => avoid repetition "deserve our respect, while others" => one word too much "would forever be corrupted" => better (more literary) "The same thing happened" => if you want an "A", review your text (typos count) "make our society harmonious." => same here "Should the young blindly follow tradition?" => better (more literary) "the need of the hour is individuality. It sparks" => avoid repetition "It is up to the young" => typos, typos... "development, it is not a good thing" => repetition / meaning "as well as for balance" => one comma too much "Brothers Grimm" => typo "are a pleasure to read" => another one "for an Indian child." => period, not comma "in turn, they suckle" => avoid repetition "cultures, they are our heritage" => meaning / style "for those in the West" => less obscure "to whom such a book" => better Please forgive me if you think I've gone too far (and for possible errors on my part), but better this than to be complacent. Good luck to you on your endeavours. 2 persons have voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| napoleon Tetraglot Senior Member India Joined 4959 days ago 543 posts - 874 votes Speaks: Bengali*, English, Hindi, Urdu Studies: French, Arabic (Written) | Message 18 of 24 30 July 2014 at 10:34am | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Thank you for taking the time to respond. Thank you also for the proverbial kick in the posterior which has jarred me out of complacency. :)
I did not start this log to show off my English skills and I certainly did not post my essay as an exercise in vanity. I really wanted feedback and I thank Jeffers, Gemeuse, yourself and the others for providing it. Thank you for being so generous with your time. I am very grateful for your critique. However, not to put too fine a point on it, there are a couple of sentences that merit a clarification. So, here goes:
I'd probably have used "does" but they used"do" in the question and that's what I followed while writing my answer.
I used "as well as" as a connector. I could not possibly use "both" and "as well as" at the same time, could I? I also wrote "prfessional". Another typo.
I must confess to this charge. I was doing this consciously. Why? I was using repetition, perhaps misguidedly, as a way of linking my ideas.
I now realise I was overdoing it. Thanks.
Using the definite article here makes a world of difference. Saying "...while others..." means that we are discussing a few other traditions. On the other hand, saying "...while the others..." means that we are talking about all the traditions that do not "deserve our respect". We are pointing them out.
Agreed.
Agreed.
Agreed.
According to Swan's "Practical English Usage" adverbs of manner usually go in end-position. However, they may go in "mid-position" if the adverb is not the main focus of the message. Here is an example he gives for an adverb in mid-position: She angrily tore up the letter. The adverb here reinforces the main message of the sentence and the basic meaning would not change if it were removed. But, in the sentence I wrote, "blindly" is very much the focus of the sentence.
I've already addressed the matter of repetition.
Agreed.
Already addressed.
Agreed.
Agreed. "are a pleasure to read" => another one
Agreed. Woe is me. :)
Agreed. Another typo.
Agreed. Although, the reason I did not use "they" is because I was dealing with two ideas in this sentence and I wanted to be clear about what I was referring to.
Agreed.
I don't think I made a mistake here.
Again, I don't think I made a mistake here. A word about typos: I was surprised to find so many typos in my original essay. It is not that I did not recognise them. I did. But by that time I had already submitted the test and there was no going back. I should add that I was typing as fast as I could because I did not believe that I could complete the assignment in time. And when I finished early, I was so happy that I forgot to check my text for typos. Another thing I'll have to remember. Thanks again, and keep the feedback flowing! :) Edited by napoleon on 30 July 2014 at 11:59am 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Luso Hexaglot Senior Member Portugal Joined 6004 days ago 819 posts - 1812 votes Speaks: Portuguese*, French, EnglishC2, GermanB1, Italian, Spanish Studies: Sanskrit, Arabic (classical) | Message 19 of 24 30 July 2014 at 1:52pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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I told you I might have gone too far at times. :)
In the end, it's all a game: avoid common mistakes all you'll be accorded the benefit of the doubt. Don't forget that your essay will be reviewed by a human being. I've had experience with a few - not that many - in the past and they tend to behave in a predictable fashion. Jokes aside, the teacher reviewing your essay(s) will give you points for fluency, clarity, etc. You shouldn't refrain from using idiomatic expressions (it shows ease and depth) and literary ones (you don't need to use "once more unto the breach", but if it's relevant... why not?). One or two of the latter will definitely show the depth of your reading. You just have to be careful not to use them out of place. Try not to be dry. Do this while reviewing your essay(s) (it will be difficult while writing the draft). Above, I could have written "behave predictably" but I went for "behave in a predictable fashion". 2 persons have voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| napoleon Tetraglot Senior Member India Joined 4959 days ago 543 posts - 874 votes Speaks: Bengali*, English, Hindi, Urdu Studies: French, Arabic (Written) | Message 20 of 24 30 July 2014 at 4:49pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Sorry for troubling you again, but I couldn't help myself. :) Do you mind expanding on your comment. Other than the points you've already mentioned, like sprinkling a bit of idiomatic and literary expressions in my writing, what are the things that I need to keep in mind. And more importantly, what are the things that make examiners predictable. Thanks. :) 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Luso Hexaglot Senior Member Portugal Joined 6004 days ago 819 posts - 1812 votes Speaks: Portuguese*, French, EnglishC2, GermanB1, Italian, Spanish Studies: Sanskrit, Arabic (classical) | Message 21 of 24 30 July 2014 at 6:41pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Oh, that was just an introductory joke.
All in all, just keep in mind that your writing will be reviewed by an English language teacher from Britain. Every little bit of proper grammar will be appreciated. Slang will not, unless you are quoting someone. One or two beloved literary expressions will also be appreciated, if still deemed acceptable (refrain from using Kipling, if you know what I mean...). Every language has features that denote fluency. For instance, in German I like to use Doppelkonjunktionen (entweder...oder, sowohl...als auch, etc.), since they make an essay more... er... Germanlike. If I recall English grammar, phrasal verbs are one of its most difficult features. The same goes for word order and prepositions, I believe. Try to use a few of each (properly, of course) to show command of the language. Don't leave the examiner wondering. Oh, and don't confuse there, their and they're. Nor it's and its. That would be a shot in the foot, but I guess you're beyond that. EDIT: HTLAL doesn't let me write "germanlike" without capital "G" (much as I wanted to) in the text above... strange. Edited by Luso on 30 July 2014 at 7:18pm 2 persons have voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Gemuse Senior Member Germany Joined 4025 days ago 818 posts - 1189 votes Speaks: English Studies: German | Message 22 of 24 01 August 2014 at 1:56am | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Luso, what did you do to improve your English while you were preparing for the exam?
Napolean, what are you currently doing as preparation? 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| napoleon Tetraglot Senior Member India Joined 4959 days ago 543 posts - 874 votes Speaks: Bengali*, English, Hindi, Urdu Studies: French, Arabic (Written) | Message 23 of 24 23 August 2014 at 9:17pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Very sorry for taking so long to reply. I have both good news and bad. First, the bad news. The British Council's lukewarm response leads me to suspect that I shall not be able to take the CPE after all. They've put me on a "wait-list" and they'll conduct the exam only if they get 14 other applicants. Now, the good news. This thread has made me aware of the areas I need to work on. I've bought a couple of books towards that end: 1. Advanced Vocabulary in Use 2. Advanced Phrasal Verbs in Use 3. Advanced Idioms in Use I'll work through them and try to improve my active grasp of vocabulary and idioms. In short, I'm not doing anything special as far as the test is concerned. I do plan on finishing these books. Though, I'll probably take my time with them. After all, the chances of me sitting the test this year are bleak, so, I'm in no hurry. Edited by napoleon on 23 August 2014 at 10:56pm 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Jeffers Senior Member United Kingdom Joined 4852 days ago 2151 posts - 3960 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Hindi, Ancient Greek, French, Sanskrit, German | Message 24 of 24 24 August 2014 at 12:15pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Sorry to hear that it will be a problem taking the CPE. Still, I hope your studies continue to go well. I also have noticed that your French is coming along, since you've passed me on the Super Challenge list. Nice job.
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