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Should I keep this up?

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23 messages over 3 pages: 1 2
garyb
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 Message 17 of 23
30 March 2015 at 11:26am | IP Logged 
I've had quite a few experiences of native speakers making fun of me and laughing at me for mistakes, bad pronunciation, or saying a few words in their language to be nice. It can be upsetting at the time, especially if I've put a lot of hard work into the language, but it's just part of the experience and I like to think it's given me a thicker skin.

Even a few weeks ago I had been talking to a French girl in English, then when I left I said "à la prochaine", to which she just looked at me, paused a couple of seconds, then laughed a little and replied with the same thing in a condescending tone. These situations can feel like making a bet: you try to use a little of their language, and they might react well or they might react badly. You just have to not let the bad reactions upset you, as they're worth it for the good reactions.
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eyðimörk
Triglot
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France
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 Message 18 of 23
30 March 2015 at 12:42pm | IP Logged 
garyb wrote:
Even a few weeks ago I had been talking to a French girl in English, then when I left I said "à la prochaine", to which she just looked at me, paused a couple of seconds, then laughed a little and replied with the same thing in a condescending tone.

Well, that was rude. No question about it.

But, I too would find it a bit odd to have a fluent conversation with someone in one language and then suddenly have them throw a stock phrase at me in my own language (or worse: English), at least if my language is not the local language.

When it comes to reactions, though, it might partly be a matter of developing thicker skin (although I can count the negative reactions I've received speaking a foreign language on one hand), but from my own experience it mostly comes down to putting yourself into their shoes and giving everyone you speak to the benefit of the doubt. For example, if I have a nice longish nice and fluent chat with someone in French, never once pausing to find words, using fairly complex constructions, understanding every single word uttered, and then, when they tell me a time or a number, they stop and spend forever figuring out how to translate that one thing into English... I could take offence at this comment on my French skills, after all I've clearly shown how I merit to be taken seriously rather than as another stupid foreigner who doesn't understand French, or I could be grateful for the effort made to help me based on their experience that "all foreigners" have trouble with French numbers and 24H time.

Thus, I'd also ask myself: did the French girl, who really shouldn't have laughed, feel exoticised or maybe condescended when you suddenly spoke to her in French, or was she a bit taken aback and handled it poorly, or was she just a really rude person?
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rdearman
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United Kingdom
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 Message 19 of 23
30 March 2015 at 1:07pm | IP Logged 
shk00design wrote:
I've seen a few foreigners come up to Chinese people and say something like "I know how to say nihaoma for hello". Even when their level of fluency may be minimal saying a few basic phrases isn't meant to be offensive.

But 你好 (NiHao) isn't the same as 你好吗 (NiHaoMa), since 你好吗 would translate better into English as "Are you feeling better?" or "Are you ill?". I think I would be offended if some stranger asked me if I was sick.

Or have my Mandarin course books completely failed me?

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tarvos
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China
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 Message 20 of 23
30 March 2015 at 1:20pm | IP Logged 
Actually it just translates as "are you all right." 你好 is more used as hello. But
illness can be the implication, yes - when you say 我好了 it means you are all cured :)
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basica
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Australia
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 Message 21 of 23
30 March 2015 at 1:36pm | IP Logged 
garyb wrote:
I've had quite a few experiences of native speakers making fun of me
and laughing at me for
mistakes, bad pronunciation, or saying a few words in their language to be nice. It
can be upsetting at the
time, especially if I've put a lot of hard work into the language, but it's just part
of the experience and I like to
think it's given me a thicker skin.

Even a few weeks ago I had been talking to a French girl in English, then when I left
I said "à la prochaine", to
which she just looked at me, paused a couple of seconds, then laughed a little and
replied with the same thing
in a condescending tone. These situations can feel like making a bet: you try to use a
little of their language,
and they might react well or they might react badly. You just have to not let the bad
reactions upset you, as
they're worth it for the good reactions.


For what it's worth, I've noticed that when people are not expecting it, they will
often get confused and not
really hear what you say and it takes them some time to process it before they can
respond (especially if your
accent is not the best). So it might not really be a negative reaction as you think
it is. I've learned to sorta
segue a bit better now because I used to get a lot of reactions of blank stares and
then "ooohhh" *awkward
laugh and curt response in that language*. I remember the last time it happened to me
was with a Brazilian
waitress. I was trying to figure out her accent since we don't have many Brazilians
here (or really anyone from
South America) and when she mentioned she was Brazilian we had a bit of a chat about
it and after I finished
and was heading off I said "obrigado" she just had this deer in the headlights look
before figuring out what I
said and laughed and said what I presume to be good bye.



Edited by basica on 31 March 2015 at 12:49am

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Iversen
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Denmark
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 Message 22 of 23
30 March 2015 at 3:56pm | IP Logged 
Sometimes people just get surprised when a foreigner speaks their language - and in the concrete case the girl may also have assumed that Garyb didn't speak French because he had been speaking English to her until then.

I remember a case in Barcelona where I had asked for the Catalan version of the movable information gadget in a museum, and I had added "si us plau" (= s'il vous plaît). That made the two women at the counter giggle, and they repeated "si us plau" with obvious amusement and even more giggles. But I didn't take this as a condescending reaction - they were just not used to hearing that phrase from foreigners and were greatly amused by hearing it from a tourist.

Edited by Iversen on 30 March 2015 at 4:05pm

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garyb
Triglot
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Speaks: English*, Italian, French
Studies: Spanish

 
 Message 23 of 23
30 March 2015 at 5:48pm | IP Logged 
You're all probably right that in that case she was just confused or taken aback rather than rude. She knew that I spoke French, as that had come up in our conversation, but it was still probably a surprise since we had previously spoken in English. And it could well have come across the wrong way, as condescending as opposed to a friendly gesture, especially since it's a stock phrase that anyone could know without necessarily having much knowledge of the language.

I agree that putting yourself in their shoes can help you make a better guess about whether their intentions are really bad. As I say, I've had my share of experiences that did seem like genuine rudeness, but also other ones like this that are less clear and are probably just from surprise. Italians in particular find it quite strange to hear a foreigner speaking their language, so these days I more or less expect some sort of strange reaction and I don't take it personally. Maybe in this case with French I took it more personally than I should have because it's a language I don't get to practise much and because of previous bad experiences.


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