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Bilingual Jokes | ||
Tags: Joke | Multilingual | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : General discussion |  | |
| administrator Hexaglot Forum Admin Switzerland FXcuisine.com Joined 7318 days ago 3094 posts - 2987 votes  12 sounds Speaks: French*, EnglishC2, German, Italian, Spanish, Russian Personal Language Map | Message 25 of 76 25 September 2009 at 10:13pm | IP Logged |
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Good thread - any more bilingual jokes?
1 person has voted this message useful | |
| vilas Pentaglot Senior Member Italy Joined 6902 days ago 531 posts - 722 votes Speaks: Spanish, Italian*, English, French, Portuguese | Message 26 of 76 26 September 2009 at 6:07pm | IP Logged |
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Probably most of you know already this story , there is also a funny video on Youtube
The Italian who went to Malta (read with Italian accent, those who cannot, suffer !) One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say, you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna me bitch !! Later I go to eat at a bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. So, I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy!!! 24 persons have voted this message useful | |
| Choscura Diglot Groupie United States Joined 5490 days ago 61 posts - 82 votes Speaks: English*, Thai | Message 27 of 76 26 September 2009 at 9:05pm | IP Logged |
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A tourist asks a guide, "have you ever been to Koh Samoy?"
The guide, without thinking, says, "who's?" (samoy= the way that the thai word for 'pubic hair' is spelled) Another Italian one, maybe it's already been done, but it's classic anyway. A woman gets on a bus and sits down. Immediately, she hears what sounds like two Italian men talking about their sexual exploits: "First, Emma come. Then I come. Then two Esse, they come. Then I come again. Then the Two Esses, they come again. I come a third time, then Pee Twice, then I come one last time." Offended, the woman turns around and tells the two men to scold them for their "gutter talk". The men, confused, explain that they are only trying to spell "Mississippi" correctly. 10 persons have voted this message useful | |
| MLSUSA94 Groupie United States linguisticventures19 Joined 5650 days ago 50 posts - 53 votes Speaks: English* Studies: German, French | Message 28 of 76 26 September 2009 at 10:27pm | IP Logged |
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The only language "joke" I've ever heard is, in my opinion, incredibly lame...
What are the Chinese words for going to the beach? Wai So Tan? 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| paparaciii Diglot Senior Member Latvia Joined 6278 days ago 204 posts - 223 votes Speaks: Latvian*, Russian Studies: English | Message 29 of 76 27 September 2009 at 5:06pm | IP Logged |
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One of the stupidest habits that many Latvian land owners still have is to burn last year's grass in the spring. For the term "lats year's grass" there is a word in Latvian language - 'kūla' which sounds pretty much the same as the English word 'cool'. This joke is always told in two languages but I'll write it in English.
A foreigner has come to the Latvian countryside and sees a Latvian guy who has set fire on the large field of last year's grass. So he asks the man to explain the situation. -Foreigner: What the hell is this? -Latvian: That's cool! 2 persons have voted this message useful | |
| Meadowmeal Pentaglot Groupie Netherlands Joined 5653 days ago 43 posts - 57 votes Speaks: Dutch*, French, English, German, Polish Studies: Romanian | Message 30 of 76 27 September 2009 at 9:38pm | IP Logged |
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A very old Dutch/English one:
Englishman: Spring is in the air! Dutchman: Why should I? (In Dutch "Spring eens", pronounced "Spring is", means "(Please) jump". 2 persons have voted this message useful | |
| karaipyhare Tetraglot Groupie Paraguay Joined 5527 days ago 74 posts - 150 votes Speaks: Portuguese, Spanish*, English, Guarani Studies: German, Italian, French, Mandarin, Japanese | Message 31 of 76 28 September 2009 at 12:53am | IP Logged |
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this is one of my favorites: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yR0lWICH3rY
4 persons have voted this message useful | |
| schoenewaelder Diglot Senior Member Germany Joined 5502 days ago 759 posts - 1197 votes Speaks: English*, French Studies: German, Spanish, Dutch | Message 32 of 76 28 September 2009 at 1:01pm | IP Logged |
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Ok, this is one of those long rambling storytelling jokes, but I'll just give an abridged version. it should ideally be in French except for the punchline, but that would expose my inadequecies.
So, this french man is looking for an English language course, but want's the cheapest one he can get. So he's looking at all these alternatives, and eventually he finds the cheapest course he's ever seen in the small ads for only €10. So he goes along to the address and it doesn't look very promising but he knocks on the door, and some dodgy looking character opens it. So he says dubiously "This isn't where I can get the cheapest English course in France, is it?". And the other guy gestures him in welcomingly and says "if if, between". 3 persons have voted this message useful |
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