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Bilingual Jokes | ||
Tags: Joke | Multilingual | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : General discussion |  | |
| Jinx Triglot Senior Member Germany reverbnation.co Joined 5635 days ago 1085 posts - 1879 votes  Speaks: English*, German, French Studies: Catalan, Dutch, Esperanto, Croatian, Serbian, Norwegian, Mandarin, Italian, Spanish, Yiddish | Message 57 of 76 22 December 2012 at 5:33pm | IP Logged |
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While waiting in a very long queue stretching out of the Leipzig town hall last year, I started talking to the fellow standing next to me, and he pointed out the clock high on the building next to us, over which stood the words: "Mors certa, hora incerta." He asked me if I knew what it meant. I tried for it in German: "Der Tod kommt unvermeidbar, aber man kennt die Zeit nicht...?" His answer: "Genau. Oder, 'Todsicher geht die Uhr falsch'."
(translation of the Latin: Death is certain, its hour is uncertain.) (my attempt: Death comes unavoidably, but its time is unknown.) (what he said: Exactly. Or, 'I'm dead certain the clock is wrong'.) Edited by Jinx on 22 December 2012 at 5:34pm 5 persons have voted this message useful | |
| mashmusic11235 Groupie United States Joined 5441 days ago 85 posts - 122 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Cantonese | Message 58 of 76 25 December 2012 at 11:32pm | IP Logged |
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My Spanish teacher taught me this one:
What do you call four Spanish speakers in quicksand? Cuatro cinco. 3 persons have voted this message useful | |
| aldariz Triglot Newbie Slovakia Joined 4634 days ago 9 posts - 13 votes Speaks: Czech, Slovak*, English Studies: French | Message 59 of 76 26 December 2012 at 4:08am | IP Logged |
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(Not sure if this counts as bilingual, but it's a joke involving languages. This is meant to be spoken out loud, but whatever)
A russian tourist residing in a czech hotel in room 222 wants a drink, but doesn't want to reveal that he's russian. Thus, he decides to call the reception and order some rum in his thick-accented English. Tourist: "Two rums to room two two two." Receptionist (in czech): "Yea, yea. Tram-ta-ra-dam, a**hole." Also, literal English (mis)translations are kind of a joke here too. czech phrase - literal (mis)translation - actual meaning: nezvratný - unvomitable - irreversible trávicí ústrojí - poisoning mechanism - digestive system vinný sklep - guilty basement - wine cellar zeleninová obloha - vegetable sky - garnish zpětná vazba - backwards arrest - feedback párek milenců - sausage of lovers - pair of lovers mistři světa v tancích na ledě - world champions in tanks on ice - world champions in ice dancing dostal se do čela závodu - he reached the forehead of the manufactory - he took the lead of the race po uvážení zaujmeme stanovisko - after some scaling we will capture the campsite - we will take a stand after some consideration vrhl na ni dlouhý pohled - he vomited a long postcard on her - he stared at her 4 persons have voted this message useful | |
| Luso Hexaglot Senior Member Portugal Joined 6003 days ago 819 posts - 1812 votes Speaks: Portuguese*, French, EnglishC2, GermanB1, Italian, Spanish Studies: Sanskrit, Arabic (classical) | Message 60 of 76 26 December 2012 at 6:52am | IP Logged |
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A very old one Portuguese-French:
Scene: French tourist in a Portuguese restaurant, asking about a wrapped item on the table that says "manteiga" ("butter" in Portuguese). Tourist: Comment s'appelle? ("come-se a pele") Waiter: Não, não se come a pele. Tourist: Comment? ("com a mão") Waiter: Não, não é com a mão, seu burro. Tourist: Ah, beurre. Loosely translated: Tourist: How do you call this? (sounds like "Do you eat the skin?") Waiter: No, you don't eat the skin (wrapper). Tourist: Excuse me? (sounds like "With the hand?") Waiter: No, not with the hand, you idiot. Tourist: Oh, butter. Edited by Luso on 26 December 2012 at 12:53pm 4 persons have voted this message useful | |
| Asal Bilingual Heptaglot Newbie YugoslaviaRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 4358 days ago 25 posts - 35 votes Speaks: Croatian*, Serbian*, SpanishC2, Latin, English, Persian, Macedonian Studies: Norwegian | Message 61 of 76 27 December 2012 at 4:08pm | IP Logged |
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A Russian one:
"What kind of plums are these?" "Purple plums." "Why are they red?" "Because they're green!" The word for "green" in Russian is the same word as for "unripe". 3 persons have voted this message useful | |
| Asal Bilingual Heptaglot Newbie YugoslaviaRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 4358 days ago 25 posts - 35 votes Speaks: Croatian*, Serbian*, SpanishC2, Latin, English, Persian, Macedonian Studies: Norwegian | Message 62 of 76 27 December 2012 at 4:48pm | IP Logged |
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Spanish/French
A woman walks into a bar, and falls over, injuring herself. A French person who saw the accident says "C'est* la vie" (That's life). And the Spanish person sitting next to him says, "Sí, y yo se la vi." (I saw her too.) 2 persons have voted this message useful | |
| cacue23 Triglot Groupie Canada Joined 4241 days ago 89 posts - 122 votes Speaks: Shanghainese, Mandarin*, English Studies: Cantonese | Message 63 of 76 26 February 2013 at 2:16am | IP Logged |
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In China many students adopted the habit of writing similar-sounding Chinese characters underneath the English to help with pronunciation. It's kind of a bad habit but more discussion on that later.
A classical example of this practice is the phonetic note of "Peace War Found", which sounds like 屁是我放的 (It's I who farted) in Chinese. Ok, that's a bit of nuance... Edited by cacue23 on 26 February 2013 at 2:32am 2 persons have voted this message useful | |
| PillowRock Groupie United States Joined 4676 days ago 87 posts - 151 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Spanish | Message 64 of 76 26 February 2013 at 5:21pm | IP Logged |
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I just saw a production of "The Taming of the Shrew" over the weekend. It includes the line:
"Cambio has changed." (For those not very familiar with this particular Shakespearean play, a character who disguises himself for a fair portion of the play takes "Cambio" as the name of his alter ego. Considering that the play is set in Italy, you would think that would have been a tip off.) 1 person has voted this message useful |
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