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Do you ever get intimidated? | ||
Tags: Loss of confidence | Motivation | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : General discussion |  | |
| sushi13 Diglot Groupie Canada Joined 4687 days ago 49 posts - 64 votes  Speaks: French*, English Studies: Spanish | Message 1 of 24 05 October 2014 at 4:55am | IP Logged | ||||||||
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I was wondering if any of you ever got intimidated while learning a foreign language,
not by the language itself, but by other learners? On these forums I often see people who speak a lot more languages then I do, they seem to know what they're doing, etc. Or even people who are learning also learning your target language. They are more advanced then you and you just feel like it's embarrassing to show your progress or level. It causes some problems in my learning because I feel embarrassed to talk with others, or ask questions. Which I know I shouldn't, but I just can't seem to get over it. I often compare myself to others, in any situations. I'm very competitive even when there's no reasons to be. Did you ever experience something like that? Are you similar to me? Or do you have any tricks on getting over that embarrassment and shyness? 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||
| Serpent Octoglot Senior Member Russian Federation serpent-849.livejour Joined 6596 days ago 9753 posts - 15779 votes 4 sounds Speaks: Russian*, English, FinnishC1, Latin, German, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese Studies: Danish, Romanian, Polish, Belarusian, Ukrainian, Croatian, Slovenian, Catalan, Czech, Galician, Dutch, Swedish | Message 2 of 24 05 October 2014 at 5:20am | IP Logged | ||||||||
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That's the impostor's syndrome, and it helps a lot simply to know that it exists and that we've got some great company :-) In our case all the discussions about polyglots being frauds etc probably contribute a lot to that.
I last felt it when Cristina was in Moscow recently and we met espejismo together. These two have such an amazing level of spoken English! 3 persons have voted this message useful | |||||||||
| tarvos Super Polyglot Winner TAC 2012 Senior Member China likeapolyglot.wordpr Joined 4706 days ago 5310 posts - 9399 votes Speaks: Dutch*, English, Swedish, French, Russian, German, Italian, Norwegian, Mandarin, Romanian, Afrikaans Studies: Greek, Modern Hebrew, Spanish, Portuguese, Czech, Korean, Esperanto, Finnish | Message 3 of 24 05 October 2014 at 10:39am | IP Logged | ||||||||
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Try sitting next to Iversen.
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| Cabaire Senior Member Germany Joined 5598 days ago 725 posts - 1352 votes | Message 4 of 24 05 October 2014 at 11:27am | IP Logged | ||||||||
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Well, I think in every aspect of life there are people who outperform you: There are many people who are more intelligent than I, more beautiful, more rich, have more friends, can better play musical instruments, have whiter teeth and shinier hair, are more outgoing, are more funny, are more serious, are more cultured, are better chess-players, can run faster and longer, have more grit, can iron their clothes without creases, I do not know what else...
I will have a hard time, if I envy all these people. When I am riding my bike, many people are faster than me. Some of them are these sport freaks who train every day, some have expensive bicycles easier to ride fast, exactly the half of them have more testoterone than I in their blood to build muscles, some are in a hurry and overexert themselves and some of them have an auxiliary battery to speed them up (those cheats!!). Does this matter? No, the important thing is, that I arrive, where I want to go. I have my destination and I ride on, and sometime i will be there. Compete with yourself, not with some fancy people! 10 persons have voted this message useful | |||||||||
| blonl Newbie Australia Joined 3711 days ago 6 posts - 14 votes | Message 5 of 24 05 October 2014 at 11:55am | IP Logged | ||||||||
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Cabaire is right.
Checking on others’ progression will never really boost your motivation, but the opposite. When you see another person doing better than you, you may feel a mixture of emotions like envy and hatred. It is a normal. We human beings are envious creature and there is no shame in admitting it. Indeed, you may also feel emotions like admiration, respect and appreciation. It may even make you see the possibilities in the endeavor and push you forward a little. But over time, when you look back at your own results you may start questioning yourself for your own ability, and you may start to think why you are not getting what you deserve or why you are not as talented as the others. The fact is, although these emotions will only give you a temporary push to learn more, it will eventually turn into an envy-driven kind of energy that is negative and venomous. Before you know, you will want to give up because you can never be better than everyone else. Some people tend to exaggerate or even deceive to get attention. In this day and age, even if you can't do something, you can lie about it, stage it, memorize scripts, or even hire actors to make it seem like you can. Clips you see on the net where teenagers speak 20+ languages are the most blaring examples as they are simply bogus. On the Internet, nothing is entirely true. If I were you, I would still ask for advice on the internet. Filter out the ones you find valuable, then disconnect yourself from it. There is really no point checking out other people’s learning progress (unless of course you are his/her fan.) The bottom line: Don't believe that anyone is better than you. Don't measure your own ability by comparing to others. This is your own race. Edited by blonl on 05 October 2014 at 11:56am 3 persons have voted this message useful | |||||||||
| Serpent Octoglot Senior Member Russian Federation serpent-849.livejour Joined 6596 days ago 9753 posts - 15779 votes 4 sounds Speaks: Russian*, English, FinnishC1, Latin, German, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese Studies: Danish, Romanian, Polish, Belarusian, Ukrainian, Croatian, Slovenian, Catalan, Czech, Galician, Dutch, Swedish | Message 6 of 24 05 October 2014 at 2:24pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
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Let's not generalize too much. Competition can be extremely motivating, as long as you compare yourself to those in the same "league", and you actually like them as people and are happy if they make progress. Comparison is something humans do naturally, and you can't truly ignore it. You have to accept it and be honest to yourself, also when someone doesn't have any objective advantage over you but is simply willing to work more.
The problem is twofold: some are objectively better than us, and we should just "allow" them to. But sometimes we idealize others while nitpicking when it comes to ourselves. We think we're objectively worse when we aren't. This kind is more subtle and more challenging, imo. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||
| rdearman Senior Member United Kingdom rdearman.orgRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5235 days ago 881 posts - 1812 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Italian, French, Mandarin | Message 7 of 24 05 October 2014 at 3:54pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
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I have to say that a lot of people here intimidate me. But they are further advanced, or ahead for reasons of their own. For example EMK studies French and so do I, but he married into the language, while I married an Englishwoman, so while he can speak better French than me...
I'm sure if we were at a Nuclear or a Jack Tar after a Leo Sayer and a Ruby I could get us to the Gates for a couple of lids and an Andy McNab. I know more cockney than most spetics. I figure EMK wouldn't make it on his Jack Jones to the Gates without losing his Dicky and Dirt, or his dog and bone to a micky mouse or a Joe Rook. Edited by rdearman on 05 October 2014 at 4:19pm 3 persons have voted this message useful | |||||||||
 emk Diglot Moderator United States Joined 5531 days ago 2615 posts - 8806 votes Speaks: English*, FrenchB2 Studies: Spanish, Ancient Egyptian Personal Language Map | Message 8 of 24 05 October 2014 at 8:25pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
*rises and claps* This one took me a bit of Googling to untangle. :-)
I've never tried to navigate eastern London after a day at the pub, but I did learn how to avoid pick-pockets in Naples (and Rome and Florence), which surely counts for something. As for the subject of thread, there's an old saying which says:
Sure, my French reading comprehension and vocab is pretty decent, at least for somebody who has never lived in a French-speaking country. But I've spent over 5 years listening to my wife speak French at home, I've read 10,000 pages for the Super Challenge and I've done over 20,000 Anki sentence reps. And even though I was mostly just taking it easy, you'd sort of hope that something would stick after all that, right? And if you read my log, you can see a whole lot of confusion and frustration mixed in with the moments of joy and victory. I certainly can't use French the way I use English—I hesitate, I search for words, I mangle grammar, I struggle with French film and Canal+ TV series. Despite having spoken French almost every day for years, I'm still a zillion miles off from what a real native can do. Very few people will ever reach a point where they're comfortable comparing their L2 to a well-read native. So I might as well learn to accept that fact. :-) Edited by emk on 05 October 2014 at 9:24pm 1 person has voted this message useful |
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