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Bilingual kids in a non-native household

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Cavesa
Triglot
Senior Member
Czech Republic
Joined 5014 days ago

3277 posts - 6779 votes 
Speaks: Czech*, FrenchC2, EnglishC1
Studies: Spanish, German, Italian

 
 Message 9 of 26
10 December 2013 at 6:47pm | IP Logged 
I may be alone here but I don't think it is a good idea to create a "bilingual" family when none of the parents is native to the second language. My sister has got a lot of classmates from bilingual families and those kids surely do have a certain advantage. But she had a few from families dedicated to such an experiment and it was always a disaster. Yes, the parents may have not been awesome enough at the second languge and that was part of the problem but anyways. The kids really had troubles with both their real native language and the fake second native language and I dare guess they won't be excited about learning other languages at all after such experience.

I think there is a much better way to support your children in acquiring other languages thorough their life. This "list" is based on how have my monolingual parents supported me, how I now support my (much) younger siblings and how I hope to support my children one day:
-help them enjoy stories, literature and books in their native language. Children who dislike reading in general often have trouble with foreign languages.
-Speak with them and listen when they are speaking.Kids who don't speak much in their native language, and have poor vocabulary, an unsolved speech inpediment or low confidence in themselves speaking, have usually troubles acquiring a foreign language as well.
-travel with them. It doesn't have to be every summer in a luxurious destination and hotel all inclusive, there are many options. Just let them see how awesome it is to visit other countries and how practical it is to know the language.
-show them it is normal and fun to use another language. Be a positive example.
-get them an early language class. don't expect them to learn or retain too much of vocabulary, grammar or speaking skills, don't choose one that would put too much pressure on the kid. But the brain does get used to another pronunciation and it does pay off much later.
-support them in their pursuits, should they be interested in learning as children or teenagers. Sure, every family needs to keep to a larger or smaller budget, but some investments really pay off.
-when it comes to choosing a foreign language to learn at school, don't make the choice for them, don't force them because "language xy is the only practical choice obviously!". Let them start with something they feel attracted to. After all, they will learn English by themselves as soon as they begin using the internet and become interested in music, movies, pc games and so on. And they will learn the obvious language, should they really need it, later without much trouble thanks to their previous successful and positive experience with languages.
5 persons have voted this message useful



July
Diglot
Senior Member
Spain
Joined 5278 days ago

113 posts - 208 votes 
Speaks: English*, SpanishB2
Studies: French

 
 Message 10 of 26
15 December 2013 at 10:53pm | IP Logged 
I see quite a few neople here in Spain speaking or singing in English with their little kids.
The children are usually also learning the language at pre or primary school as well. The
parents are obviously non-native, so the kids may end up counting 'wan, to, tree´ or
whatever, but I don't think the accent will be a problem in the long run and I have huge
admiration for these parents. The children are usually really excited and motivated to try
out their language skills with a native, and they're usually very good.

I certainly plan for my kids someday to grow up speaking Spanish, even if their only input is
what I can give them, native materials, friends and classes. I really do believe it can be
done.
1 person has voted this message useful



culebrilla
Senior Member
United States
Joined 4002 days ago

246 posts - 436 votes 
Speaks: Spanish

 
 Message 11 of 26
16 December 2013 at 1:09am | IP Logged 
Tollpatchig wrote:
I don't have any kids and really don't plan on any (but who knows what the future holds?) but if I did have kids, I would ideally like to raise them with German in the home as I hope to be at native or near-native fluency if/when I get pregnant. But is it a good idea for a non-native speaker to raise their kids in the target language?

It's already odd for someone with no German roots such as myself to be learning the language anyways and to teach to my maybe-children would seem even more strange. On top of that the child would pick up on my very American accent. Could it still work out?


It depends how good you are in the language. If you are a C1/C2 type speaker, I think that it would be a great idea. If not...then less so. I've heard several Americans (English-speaking natives) teach Spanish to their kids and I cringe at the bad grammar and pronunciation that they will have. Note that I didn't say "accent"; getting the pronunciation right is the very least one should do.

I've talked about this a lot with my friends that are big language learners/speakers, some English-speakers, others Spanish speaking natives, and a few have strongly recommended that the kids have access to native speakers. It is extremely rare (1 in 1,000? 1 in 10,000?) to find somebody that learned a language as an adult that has native-level accent in the language; so if you send the child to a bilingual school or have a nanny speaking the target language, I think those are the best options. If you are a German immigrant in the US and want to teach your child English, your accented English probably won't be an issue since the child will be overwhelmed by English-speakers in the US.

Good luck.

Edit: You really need to create a "need" for the child to speak the target language. If you are that German immigrant in the US and are married to an English speaker, unless you have a lot of trips back to Germany/Austria/Switzerland or native German speakers around you in the US, your kids probably won't speak German. I have a lot of relatives that failed to pass along our native language to their kids because everybody else spoke English outside of the household and even within the household, it was a mix of languages.

""This is the root of the “one parent, one language” theory that many bilingual families swear by. By this theory, consistency is important for the learning brain.

But one researcher on the topic, François Grosjean (who blogs here), disagrees that one-parent, one-language is a must. Instead, he says, “the need factor is crucial”—that is, the child must experience regular monolingual situations in each language. If there are no domains (school, travel, grandparents) where only one of the two languages will do, “children are very good at judging whether it is worth maintaining a language or letting it wither away.” One option he recommends is to speak only one language at home and the other outside the home. (This requires both parents to be fairly fluent in both languages, though.) "
"
http://www.francoisgrosjean.ch/for_parents_en.html

Edited by culebrilla on 16 December 2013 at 1:14am

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aokoye
Diglot
Senior Member
United StatesRegistered users can see my Skype Name
Joined 5546 days ago

235 posts - 453 votes 
Speaks: English*, German
Studies: Dutch, Norwegian, Japanese

 
 Message 12 of 26
16 December 2013 at 5:08am | IP Logged 
You can do it but it's hard and often takes some sort of extra money (outside of that
for just raising a child period) outside of buy kid's books in German.

The "easiest" way of going about doing so would be to enroll your child in a German
immersion school and also only speaking German with your kid. The only other reasonable
way I can think of doing so in the US, or any other country that doesn't have German as
an official/de facto language is to speak only German to your children, have them in
weekend German classes, and also have lots of German language media around the house
(that they actually read/listen to/watch.

I do know that there's a German professor who only speaks to her two children in
German, including while in public and just short of refuses to respond to them if they
don't respond in English. Her kids spent a year of high school in Germany and were able
to study at a gymnasium without any hiccups language wise but I think she and her
children represent a small percentage of people who attempt to raise their kids
bilingual/were raised bilingual without going to a school with an immersion program.

Also be prepared for push back from your kid(s). I know a fair amount of people whose
parents attempted to raise them bilingually and they refused to speak anything but
English (or whatever the main language of communication in the country/city they lived
in was) back to their parents. Everyone I've spoken to has regretted doing so (I met
all of these people when they were 18+ years old). I also am good friends with two
women who went to a public school with a Spanish immersion program from K-8 and then
did IB Spanish in high school (there wasn't the option of a high school with an
immersion program in any language in Portland, OR at the time) and, while they *hated
it* when they were in elementary school they were both very happy to have been
essentially forced to speak Spanish when they were younger (they didn't speak a whole
lot of Spanish at home but their mom is fluent in Spanish - our mothers are best
friends and we've known eachother our entire lives). My high school German teacher's
elementary school aged son (at the time) refused to speak German to him and was,
thankfully, in a German immersion school and was speaking German all day at school.

In short - it's very hard but given the right tools it is possible to raise bilingual
children in the US.
3 persons have voted this message useful



culebrilla
Senior Member
United States
Joined 4002 days ago

246 posts - 436 votes 
Speaks: Spanish

 
 Message 13 of 26
16 December 2013 at 12:43pm | IP Logged 
aokoye wrote:
You can do it but it's hard and often takes some sort of extra money (outside of that
for just raising a child period) outside of buy kid's books in German.

The "easiest" way of going about doing so would be to enroll your child in a German
immersion school and also only speaking German with your kid. The only other reasonable
way I can think of doing so in the US, or any other country that doesn't have German as
an official/de facto language is to speak only German to your children, have them in
weekend German classes, and also have lots of German language media around the house
(that they actually read/listen to/watch.

I do know that there's a German professor who only speaks to her two children in
German, including while in public and just short of refuses to respond to them if they
don't respond in English. Her kids spent a year of high school in Germany and were able
to study at a gymnasium without any hiccups language wise but I think she and her
children represent a small percentage of people who attempt to raise their kids
bilingual/were raised bilingual without going to a school with an immersion program.

Also be prepared for push back from your kid(s). I know a fair amount of people whose
parents attempted to raise them bilingually and they refused to speak anything but
English (or whatever the main language of communication in the country/city they lived
in was) back to their parents. Everyone I've spoken to has regretted doing so (I met
all of these people when they were 18+ years old). I also am good friends with two
women who went to a public school with a Spanish immersion program from K-8 and then
did IB Spanish in high school (there wasn't the option of a high school with an
immersion program in any language in Portland, OR at the time) and, while they *hated
it* when they were in elementary school they were both very happy to have been
essentially forced to speak Spanish when they were younger (they didn't speak a whole
lot of Spanish at home but their mom is fluent in Spanish - our mothers are best
friends and we've known eachother our entire lives). My high school German teacher's
elementary school aged son (at the time) refused to speak German to him and was,
thankfully, in a German immersion school and was speaking German all day at school.

In short - it's very hard but given the right tools it is possible to raise bilingual
children in the US.


My grandparents only spoke our family language to their kids in a monolingual English environment and they are all perfectly bilingual. However, they were very consistent about this and they had a LOT of kids, so there were a lot of people to talk to when they were growing up. With just one other sibling things may be more different. And outside of the house it was English. It can be done, but yes, it is hard.

With another family I know imtimately, one parent speaks Chinese and the other parent speaks English (both are native and bilingual in both languages). Result? The kids don't see a "need" to learn Chinese since they are in a monolingual English speaking country and only speak English. They do understand a fair amount of Chinese and are almost "receptive bilinguals" but that is not that helpful. The language will die with them since they can't speak and teach it to their future kids.
1 person has voted this message useful



beano
Diglot
Senior Member
United KingdomRegistered users can see my Skype Name
Joined 4627 days ago

1049 posts - 2152 votes 
Speaks: English*, German
Studies: Russian, Serbian, Hungarian

 
 Message 14 of 26
16 December 2013 at 9:51pm | IP Logged 
culebrilla wrote:
   

Edit: You really need to create a "need" for the child to speak the target language. If you are that German
immigrant in the US and are married to an English speaker, unless you have a lot of trips back to
Germany/Austria/Switzerland or native German speakers around you in the US, your kids probably won't
speak German.


But the children would develop an excellent passive understanding of German and could probably speak it if
they were in a situation where they absolutely had to. That's a hell of a lot better than nothing and if they did
eventually move to a German-speaking environment they would pick up oral skills at lightening speed.


1 person has voted this message useful



beano
Diglot
Senior Member
United KingdomRegistered users can see my Skype Name
Joined 4627 days ago

1049 posts - 2152 votes 
Speaks: English*, German
Studies: Russian, Serbian, Hungarian

 
 Message 15 of 26
16 December 2013 at 9:53pm | IP Logged 
culebrilla wrote:
   

Edit: You really need to create a "need" for the child to speak the target language. If you are that German
immigrant in the US and are married to an English speaker, unless you have a lot of trips back to
Germany/Austria/Switzerland or native German speakers around you in the US, your kids probably won't
speak German.


But the children would develop an excellent passive understanding of German and could probably speak it if
they were in a situation where they absolutely had to. That's a hell of a lot better than nothing and if they did
eventually move to a German-speaking environment they would pick up oral skills at lightening speed.


1 person has voted this message useful



culebrilla
Senior Member
United States
Joined 4002 days ago

246 posts - 436 votes 
Speaks: Spanish

 
 Message 16 of 26
17 December 2013 at 1:40am | IP Logged 
beano wrote:
culebrilla wrote:
   

Edit: You really need to create a "need" for the child to speak the target language. If you are that German
immigrant in the US and are married to an English speaker, unless you have a lot of trips back to
Germany/Austria/Switzerland or native German speakers around you in the US, your kids probably won't
speak German.


But the children would develop an excellent passive understanding of German and could probably speak it if
they were in a situation where they absolutely had to. That's a hell of a lot better than nothing and if they did
eventually move to a German-speaking environment they would pick up oral skills at lightening speed.



Yes, but the odds are heavily stacked against them ever learning the language well. They do have a "head up" on others that aren't receptive bilinguals, but if you and I were to bet, we would bet on them NOT ever doing it. I have a LOT of second-generation immigrant friends that have complete understanding of their family languages but they never did learn how to speak. This is a sample of probably about 70 people or more. I literally have never met a receptive bilingual that decided to learn how to speak, write, read, and become very proficient in the language--not in my family nor outside it.

In theory it is advantageous for them to be a receptive bilingual, but in practice really nobody does learn the language fully. What percentage of people in your language classes or what percentage of your friends ever learn a language to C1-C2 level? Maybe 1%?

Edit: heads up.

Edited by culebrilla on 17 December 2013 at 1:42am



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