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My Wife and I

  Tags: Grammar | English
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schoenewaelder
Diglot
Senior Member
Germany
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759 posts - 1197 votes 
Speaks: English*, French
Studies: German, Spanish, Dutch

 
 Message 1 of 21
27 June 2012 at 5:30pm | IP Logged 
I apologise for raising once again this thorny and contentious issue. I'm one of those people who thinks that "me and X" is a perfectly acceptable 1st person plural subject pronoun combination, and the fact that the 1st person singular is "I" is simply irrelevant.

But in the course of my Lang-8 correcting duties, I came accross the opposite problem, with "I" as an object pronoun, in the sentence:

"Last Autumn, my cousin Jim let my wife and I borrow his cottage for the weekend."

To me, "my wife and I" sounds better than the logically more correct "my wife and me". I think it's partly the influence of the second verb but even simplifying it to:

"Bob invited my wife and I to his cottage"

sounds reasonable. It could be because "my wife and I" is such a standard, phrase but I think it also works with other nouns for people:

"Bob invited my sister and I"

but it starts to sound a little odd with names.

"Bob invited Fred and I to his holliday cottage"

Of course, I may just be starting to go a little crazy or senile.


It'd be handy also, if someone could tell me what tense "borrow" is (infinitive without "to" ?) or what sort of grammatical construction it is.

Thanks.


Edited by schoenewaelder on 27 June 2012 at 5:36pm

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tractor
Tetraglot
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Norway
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 Message 2 of 21
27 June 2012 at 5:51pm | IP Logged 
schoenewaelder wrote:
It'd be handy also, if someone could tell me what tense "borrow" is (infinitive without "to"
?) or what sort of grammatical construction it is.

It looks like a plain, ordinary infinitve to me.
1 person has voted this message useful



napoleon
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India
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 Message 3 of 21
27 June 2012 at 5:58pm | IP Logged 
I believe that "My X and I" is only used if it is the subject.
Ex:
My sister and I have been invited to the party.
They have invited my sister and me to the party.

Of course, I would appreciate a native speaker's insight on the matter.
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Josquin
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Germany
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 Message 4 of 21
27 June 2012 at 6:00pm | IP Logged 
"Me" can be a subject pronoun, but "I" can never, never, never be an object pronoun, although half the English speaking world seems to think the opposite.

- Dad and I are going fishing.

- Me and Dad, we're going fishing.

- He invited my wife and me. (NOT: My wife and I!)

To anybody who is acquainted to inflecting languages "I" as an object pronoun sounds absolutely gruesome!

- Er hat meine Frau und mich eingeladen. (NOT: Meine Frau und ich)

- Он пригласил мою жену и меня. (NOT: Мою жену и я)

- Hann hefur boðið konu minni og mér heim. (NOT: Konu minni og ég)

You wouldn't say: "He invited my sister and he", or "He invited his family and we" either, because "he" and "we" are subject pronouns and cannot become object. Making an exception for "I" would not be very logical.

Edited by Josquin on 27 June 2012 at 6:17pm

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Spanky
Senior Member
Canada
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1021 posts - 1714 votes 
Studies: French

 
 Message 5 of 21
27 June 2012 at 6:48pm | IP Logged 
schoenewaelder wrote:


To me, "my wife and I" sounds better than the logically more correct "my wife and me". I think it's partly the influence of the second verb but even simplifying it to:

"Bob invited my wife and I to his cottage"

sounds reasonable.

....

Of course, I may just be starting to go a little crazy or senile.



Nah, you seem like a pretty solid, non-crazy, non-senile sort.

The example you provide is wrong grammatically, but is becoming more widespread among native English speakers and accordingly it does not overly-surprise me that it may now sound right to speakers (both native and learners).   A descriptionist would tell you that means that it is therefore becoming grammatically correct.   They are of course wrong, and have long ago themselves started to become a little crazy or senile. But in another twenty years, it (along with creating "plural's" by using an apostrophe) will be entirely standard and accepted as an evolution in the language. From my dinosaur nest hidden deep in the primieval forest, that is not an improvement.

I have started up myself just recently with lang-8. I would suggest that it is important to correct the use of "I" as an object pronoun. It is currently non-grammatical.


schoenewaelder wrote:


It'd be handy also, if someone could tell me what tense "borrow" is (infinitive without "to" ?) or what sort of grammatical construction it is.



This is an example of the use of the "bare infinitive".   The full infinitive would be used if instead of "let" you had used "allowed" or "permitted".



Edited by Spanky on 27 June 2012 at 6:49pm

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emk
Diglot
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United States
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 Message 6 of 21
27 June 2012 at 7:23pm | IP Logged 
This is a little bit complicated. There's an official rule, but relatively few native
speakers obey it precisely.

First, the official rule:

Quote:
1. I'm speaking with Fred.
2. Fred is speaking with me.
3. Mike and I are speaking with Fred.
4. Fred is speaking with me and Mike.


Cases (1) and (2) are completely consistent for all native speakers. But (3) and (4)
vary considerably in practice. Common alternatives are:

Quote:
3a. Me and Mike are speaking to Fred.
4a. Fred is speaking to Mike and I.


(3a) is extremely common in vernacular English. (4a) is extremely common in educated
English. To a German speaker, both of these sound illogical, and a professional
English-speaking editor would typically call (3a) "illiterate" and (4a) a
"hypercorrection", because it looks like somebody tried to correct (3a) and went too
far.

But there's no logical reason why vernacular English has to work like German. It might,
for example, work like French, where the official rule is:

Quote:
F1. Je parle avec Fred.
F2. Fred parle avec moi.
F3. Fred et moi parlons avec Mike.
F4. Mike parle avec Fred et moi.


Here, je is a subject pronoun, and moi is the disjunctive pronoun. If you
use the conjunction et, then you always need to use the latter. There's no
accusative/nominative distinction at all, as you can see. It's a perfectly logical and
straightforward system, especially when you realize that the subject pronouns are
halfway to being fully-integrated verbal inflections.

Personally, I suspect that spoken English can't decide whether to work like French or
German, and that interference between the two sets of rules is generating all kinds of
strange possibilities. I encourage you to obey the standard rule in writing, but native
speakers will continue to enthusiastically use (3a) and (4a) in speech.
4 persons have voted this message useful



hrhenry
Octoglot
Senior Member
United States
languagehopper.blogs
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 Message 7 of 21
27 June 2012 at 7:47pm | IP Logged 
emk's first quote is the basic rule and is pretty easy to follow. Whenever you're in
doubt, remove the other person (Fred or Mike in these examples) and you'll know which
to use correctly.

Quote:
1. I'm speaking with Fred.
2. Fred is speaking with me.
3. Mike and I are speaking with Fred.
4. Fred is speaking with me and Mike.


One other observation, though: when you're including yourself with someone else in a
sentence ("me" in example 4), it should follow the other person ("Mike" in example 4).
So example 4 should be "Fred is speaking with Mike and me". Another example not
mentioned here that's usually turned around is the use of "between ... and ... ". It
should be "me" ("between you and me"), and the "me" should always follow the other
person.

But as noted, it's become common for native speakers to mix them up.

R.
==

Edited by hrhenry on 27 June 2012 at 7:48pm

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Josquin
Heptaglot
Senior Member
Germany
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 Message 8 of 21
27 June 2012 at 8:40pm | IP Logged 
emk wrote:
But there's no logical reason why vernacular English has to work like German. It might,
for example, work like French, where the official rule is:

Quote:
F1. Je parle avec Fred.
F2. Fred parle avec moi.
F3. Fred et moi parlons avec Mike.
F4. Mike parle avec Fred et moi.

Yes, but in French, you would also say: « Il a invité ma femme et toi/lui/eux » (elle, nous, vous, and elles are the same as subject pronouns and as disjunctive pronouns), while you would never say: "He has invited my wife and he/she/we/they" (you is the same as subject pronoun and as object pronoun), in English.

So, saying: "He has invited my wife and I", is a grammatical mistake, because a subject pronoun can't serve as an object. It might become Standard English one day, but it isn't today.

Edited by Josquin on 27 June 2012 at 8:45pm



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