kevingreece Newbie United States Joined 4026 days ago 12 posts - 20 votes Studies: Greek
| Message 1 of 16 12 June 2014 at 10:48pm | IP Logged |
Today I had a language exchange conversation with someone. This person seemed to not consider the fact that I've
only been learning his language for a year, and he would say things abruptly and not even try to articulate himself. It
seemed somewhat intentional, like a "I don't care if you've been learning my language for a year, I'm going to speak
how I want" kind of prideful attitude. This is the first time I've ever encountered such a person. Has anyone else had
a similar experience/story he/she could share? I'm sure I'm not the only one! Thanks!
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Bao Diglot Senior Member Germany tinyurl.com/pe4kqe5 Joined 5763 days ago 2256 posts - 4046 votes Speaks: German*, English Studies: French, Spanish, Japanese, Mandarin
| Message 2 of 16 12 June 2014 at 11:47pm | IP Logged |
Things like that happen. I prefer to think of such situations as the other person not being able to simplify their speech and slow down. Maybe that's not their intention, but I can tell myself 'Well, such people exist, I just need to work harder, so that I can talk to them as well!' and get on with it. And forget about the situation.
What I find really frustrating is when people simplify their speech too much. (I understand when it's as a reaction to my low level of speaking proficiency, especially when I'm nervous about meeting somebody, but it's frustrating when I try to communicate that I do understand and the other person doesn't pick up on it.)
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James29 Diglot Senior Member United States Joined 5372 days ago 1265 posts - 2113 votes Speaks: English*, Spanish Studies: French
| Message 3 of 16 13 June 2014 at 2:20am | IP Logged |
How was his English? I find that people who have studied their target language are much more understanding.
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eyðimörk Triglot Senior Member France goo.gl/aT4FY7 Joined 4096 days ago 490 posts - 1158 votes Speaks: Swedish*, English, French Studies: Breton, Italian
| Message 4 of 16 13 June 2014 at 6:55am | IP Logged |
I've been lucky enough only to witness this particular type of thing second-hand. I dislike speaking to children and teenagers in French, though, because they seem to intentionally shut down and refuse to try to understand me the moment they detect my accent. I can't fault very small children for not having the right kind of creativity and experience necessary to deal with a foreign accent and the occasional slightly off word-choice, of course, but older children are quite capable of intentional mean-spiritedness (worst case) or at least complete lack of empathy for others (best case).
I know that my accent is not terrible and my incorrect word-choices have never been incomprehensible or embarrassing. I'm talking about situations like this one: I had sat down to Christmas supper and had been chatting away about politics and culture for hours, when I turned to the 13-14 year old girl next to me to help her get herself a second helping of something. Just turning towards her I was met with a blank stare, but then, when I, after putting some on her plate, motioned to the dish with the spoon and asked "Would you like some more?" (unidiomatic) she turned to her father and said; "I don't understand. What is she saying?" He had to "translate" for her: "Again?" (idiomatic)
I try to take all such situations as learning experiences and simply improve, but it also makes me a bit wary of certain age groups that tend to not be up to adult levels of empathy.
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kevingreece Newbie United States Joined 4026 days ago 12 posts - 20 votes Studies: Greek
| Message 5 of 16 13 June 2014 at 7:09am | IP Logged |
James29 wrote:
How was his English? I find that people who have studied their target language are much more
understanding. |
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It was actually pretty good. He told me that he's taking lessons from a private instructor.
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kevingreece Newbie United States Joined 4026 days ago 12 posts - 20 votes Studies: Greek
| Message 6 of 16 13 June 2014 at 7:20am | IP Logged |
eyðimörk wrote:
I try to take all such situations as learning experiences and simply improve, but it also makes
me a bit wary of certain age groups that tend to not be up to adult levels of empathy. |
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Thanks for the story! This person happened to be 20, but from my experience (I'm about 30), a 10-year difference is
a big one in regards to maturity-of course, it depends on the person! It's probably a better idea to talk to somebody
closer to my age or older. This isn't the first time I've noticed this sort of thing while talking to someone, but this
one happened to be the most pronounced.
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rdearman Senior Member United Kingdom rdearman.orgRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5233 days ago 881 posts - 1812 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Italian, French, Mandarin
| Message 7 of 16 13 June 2014 at 10:29am | IP Logged |
It could be that the guy is just a jerk. There are a lot of them about. :)
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garyb Triglot Senior Member ScotlandRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5204 days ago 1468 posts - 2413 votes Speaks: English*, Italian, French Studies: Spanish
| Message 8 of 16 13 June 2014 at 11:08am | IP Logged |
I'd love to meet more people like that; like Bao and eyðimörk it's often the opposite problem I have, of people trying to make too many concessions for me being a learner (slowing down and simplifying, explaining words, using English...) when I'd much prefer that they speak to me more "normally". I suppose my level of listening comprehension is always much higher than my level of speaking and accent but people tend to judge by the latter and so assume the former is lower.
My Spanish level is quite low, and I have a Spanish friend who has no hesitations about speaking to me full-speed. I struggle but it's great practice!
While they're seemingly opposite problems, I think both can come down to a lack of empathy as eyðimörk says. Although personally I often find it difficult to slow down and people often have to ask/remind me several times, so sometimes it's just a question of habit, and again I know that for many it's natural to lower their level when speaking to a non-native.
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