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Is a Language Exchange Program safe for..

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14 messages over 2 pages: 1 2 
mrhenrik
Triglot
Moderator
Norway
Joined 6085 days ago
482 posts - 658 votes 
Speaks: Norwegian*, English, French
Personal Language Map

 
 Message 9 of 14
15 July 2010 at 10:47pm | IP Logged 
Bnicleve wrote:

Very true. This has been my experience as a female using language exchanges. I was
previously doing well with sites such as LiveMocha, and the moment I posted a picture
of myself, I was flooded with friend requests from males who were mainly focused on
being inappropriate or waisting my time. Its unforunate for women who are taking
language learning seriously, but that seems to be the unspoken rule on many of these
sites. My suggestions based on personal mistakes I have made doing language exchanges:

1. DO NOT use webcam with anyone that you don't know, or have not gotten to know.
Things have started out with very pleasant, innocent intentions, and then suddenly
escaleted to me getting a peep show that I never wanted to see.

2. DO NOT tolerate anything that is initially inappropriate. Give them a little room to
start out flirtatious and weird and it will only get worse.

3. DO NOT of course, give out any personal information, your age especially. I was e-
stalked for a short time by a user whom I had gotten too familiar with, searching my
name and blaa jay blaa.

Other than those three, enjoy yourself and keep it classy. ;-)


Very good tips. Girls are generally way too nice. Some of the stuff that guys get away
with is just ridiculous. In real life, a guy might be threatening and up close and
possibly huge and bulky, but on the internet you just hit the block button. Don't be
patient, there's more people out there and they might have more interest in your
language than your breasts.

In real life, just use some common sense and you should be fine. Meet the person in a
public space with other people, not in a dark alley at midnight. Perhaps bring a friend
the first time for a casual chat - clarified with the exchange partner of course. If
you're worried about stalkers, set a meeting point in a very typical place in town, and
perhaps even walk towards it from a different direction than normal. Unless you've
given away loads of details about yourself you're making a stalker's life difficult if
your looks is the only thing he/she has to go by.

Edited by mrhenrik on 15 July 2010 at 10:54pm
3 persons have voted this message useful



kanaka_peach
Newbie
United States
Joined 5810 days ago
12 posts - 12 votes
Speaks: English*
Studies: Japanese

 
 Message 10 of 14
16 July 2010 at 12:30am | IP Logged 
Bnicleve wrote:
newyorkeric wrote:
Well, I've heard from several female friends that it can be a frustrating experience for a woman on these sites because there are lots of guys there that are more interested in socializing than practicing a language. But as long as you are aware of this when searching for a partner and take the safeguards that Volte suggests then there is no reason it shouldn't be a safe experience.


Very true. This has been my experience as a female using language exchanges. I was previously doing well with sites such as LiveMocha, and the moment I posted a picture of myself, I was flooded with friend requests from males who were mainly focused on being inappropriate or waisting my time. Its unforunate for women who are taking language learning seriously, but that seems to be the unspoken rule on many of these sites. My suggestions based on personal mistakes I have made doing language exchanges:

1. DO NOT use webcam with anyone that you don't know, or have not gotten to know. Things have started out with very pleasant, innocent intentions, and then suddenly escaleted to me getting a peep show that I never wanted to see.

2. DO NOT tolerate anything that is initially inappropriate. Give them a little room to start out flirtatious and weird and it will only get worse.

3. DO NOT of course, give out any personal information, your age especially. I was e-stalked for a short time by a user whom I had gotten too familiar with, searching my name and blaa jay blaa.

Other than those three, enjoy yourself and keep it classy. ;-)


This is really helpful (especially since its from a female) :) I'm sorry for what you had to go through... Thank you for the advice because I am NOT a fan of creepy (older) guys

Arekkusu wrote:
I suggest www.lang-8.com. While it's only used for written practice, people become acquainted as they correct eachother's texts, and after a while, you might find that you trust one of them enough to go to another site to chat or talk.


Thanks Arekussu! I'm going to look into this site.
1 person has voted this message useful



iamrobertyee
Bilingual Triglot
Groupie
Philippines
Joined 5300 days ago
48 posts - 54 votes 
Speaks: Tagalog*, Cebuano*, EnglishC2
Studies: Mandarin

 
 Message 11 of 14
16 July 2010 at 5:44am | IP Logged 
There's no guarantee that it's safe. You just have to be very careful and articulate with the people your are dealing with. Language exchange on the net is fun. especially for young ones.
1 person has voted this message useful



Psychedelica
Diglot
Newbie
NetherlandsRegistered users can see my Skype Name
Joined 5318 days ago
7 posts - 11 votes
Speaks: Dutch*, English
Studies: Spanish, French, Swedish

 
 Message 12 of 14
20 July 2010 at 3:04pm | IP Logged 
I tend to use a real picture of myself as a profile picture on lots of sites... but never again! Although you get a lot of responses when you do that, you definitely don't get the right kind of responses :P
2 persons have voted this message useful



Bnicleve
Newbie
United StatesRegistered users can see my Skype Name
Joined 5293 days ago
4 posts - 8 votes
Speaks: English*
Studies: French

 
 Message 13 of 14
11 October 2010 at 8:01am | IP Logged 
Psychedelica wrote:
I tend to use a real picture of myself as a profile picture on lots of sites... but never again! Although you get a lot of responses when you do that, you definitely don't get the right kind of responses :P


Oh yes, most def. Its not about male bashing but they are visual creatures and I have discovered more often than not they lure Anglophones, looking to expand their language skills in, by promising to teach them. But it all seems to end the same sadly. Just keep trying to different people until you find the right fit. Its kind of like dating...lol.
1 person has voted this message useful



BlondGirl
Groupie
United States
Joined 5563 days ago
49 posts - 101 votes 
Speaks: English*
Studies: Spanish

 
 Message 14 of 14
12 October 2010 at 4:52am | IP Logged 
I like to use SharedTalk. I have had great results with it. The live voice is not such a great connection, but you can find some great study/practice/learning partners that you can type chat with to start and after getting comfortable with ones that seem to be on the up and up, you can use Skype.

I have had very good results--better than with people I have met in real life.

I also use conversation exchange.

I will admit to having problems with creepy guys on Shared Talk when I was first on there but tweaked my profile to say that I am an elderly, wart-covered woman that lives with a lot of cats and grandchildren. Not too many guys seem too excited by that. hahaha

One of my favorite study partners is a 13 year old young man in Perú. He is not mean to me about my mistakes and is very patient and a lot of fun to chat with. His family gets into it and we do video chats sometimes on Skype. We have even exchanged postcards (with his dad's permission, of course!)

Good luck with your language adventures.

Edited by BlondGirl on 12 October 2010 at 4:53am


2 persons have voted this message useful



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