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Speaking with strangers

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cacue23
Triglot
Groupie
Canada
Joined 4297 days ago
89 posts - 122 votes 
Speaks: Shanghainese, Mandarin*, English
Studies: Cantonese

 
 Message 17 of 32
13 September 2013 at 3:49pm | IP Logged 
cathrynm wrote:
Here in the USA, sometimes I can spot the Japanese. By body language, and maybe just having been around Japanese Americans gives me an eye for what the from Japan, Japanese people look and act like.   The thing is, mistaking a Korean or Chinese guy for Japanese is usually not appreciated, and asking is pretty irritating to Asians here in the USA. Mostly I just only talk to people at the meetup when I manage to make it there, which hasn't been in few months now. Hmm.


A piece of advice, never ask people if they are from where you think they come from until they talk amongst themselves and you recognize the language. I'm not sure about how Koreans or Japanese would react. Personally if people ask me if I were Japanese, I would wear a fake smile, tell them I'm Chinese, and then drop my smile right off and walk away. I might react a bit more mildly if people ask me if I were Korean, though perhaps bordering on the rude side.

Edited by cacue23 on 13 September 2013 at 3:53pm
1 person has voted this message useful



Ogrim
Heptaglot
Senior Member
France
Joined 4637 days ago
991 posts - 1896 votes 
Speaks: Norwegian*, English, Spanish, French, Romansh, German, Italian
Studies: Russian, Catalan, Latin, Greek, Romanian

 
 Message 18 of 32
13 September 2013 at 5:54pm | IP Logged 
cacue23 wrote:
cathrynm wrote:
Here in the USA, sometimes I can spot the Japanese. By body language, and maybe just having been around Japanese Americans gives me an eye for what the from Japan, Japanese people look and act like.   The thing is, mistaking a Korean or Chinese guy for Japanese is usually not appreciated, and asking is pretty irritating to Asians here in the USA. Mostly I just only talk to people at the meetup when I manage to make it there, which hasn't been in few months now. Hmm.


A piece of advice, never ask people if they are from where you think they come from until they talk amongst themselves and you recognize the language. I'm not sure about how Koreans or Japanese would react. Personally if people ask me if I were Japanese, I would wear a fake smile, tell them I'm Chinese, and then drop my smile right off and walk away. I might react a bit more mildly if people ask me if I were Korean, though perhaps bordering on the rude side.


I had that experience this summer in Crete. I saw this couple taking pictures of each other and we wanted them to take a family photo of us, so I approached and heared that they spoke Russian, so I asked in my best Russian where in Russia they were from. The man turned and said "We are from Kiev, Ukraine", and they walked away. Next time I'll just ask an even more stupid question if I want to strike up a conversation: "Do you speak Russian?"
1 person has voted this message useful



Bakunin
Diglot
Senior Member
Switzerland
outerkhmer.blogspot.
Joined 5128 days ago
531 posts - 1126 votes 
Speaks: German*, Thai
Studies: Khmer

 
 Message 19 of 32
13 September 2013 at 10:48pm | IP Logged 
cacue23 wrote:
Personally if people ask me if I were Japanese, I would wear a fake smile, tell them I'm Chinese, and then drop my smile right off and walk away.


I'd be glad to see you walk away. Conversations with people with nationalist or racist views is something I'd rather avoid.
4 persons have voted this message useful



Mooby
Senior Member
Scotland
Joined 6103 days ago
707 posts - 1220 votes 
Speaks: English*
Studies: Polish

 
 Message 20 of 32
14 September 2013 at 12:44am | IP Logged 
I had a most painful and embarassing lesson in talking with strangers, over an incident in a hotel 16 years ago.
I was working in this hotel which was accommodating delegates at an international conference. A few weeks prior to this I had learned (I don't remember why exactly) the Japanese greeting "konichiwa". One afternoon I was passing through the hotel foyer and saw a couple of Asian gentlemen hovering by reception. Feeling in a confident and expansive mood, I politely nodded and said "konichiwa" as I passed. The men stopped, surprised - before responding with a "konichiwa" of their own.

Ridiculously pleased with myself, I began to say "konichiwa" to practically anything that moved.
However, my day of doom arrived on the last day of the conference.
I spotted an Asian guest waiting to check out, and I thought I'd try out a last "konichiwa" on him. On hearing it, the man visibly stiffened and then turned slowly to face me. "I'm korean" he said, leaving me in no doubt that I had made a terrible mistake. I murmured something by way of an apology and vacated the scene pronto.

It's an episode I'll never forget. And while I have recovered the confidence to speak to strangers, I bear it in mind not to make assumptions. As Ogrim pointed out; if in doubt, better to check first by asking a question.

Edited by Mooby on 14 September 2013 at 12:48am
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cacue23
Triglot
Groupie
Canada
Joined 4297 days ago
89 posts - 122 votes 
Speaks: Shanghainese, Mandarin*, English
Studies: Cantonese

 
 Message 21 of 32
14 September 2013 at 2:08am | IP Logged 
Bakunin wrote:
cacue23 wrote:
Personally if people ask me if I were Japanese, I would wear a fake smile, tell them I'm Chinese, and then drop my smile right off and walk away.


I'd be glad to see you walk away. Conversations with people with nationalist or racist views is something I'd rather avoid.


Hey, I live in Canada. I socialize with my Japanese acquiantances here just fine if we don't bring up the sensitive topics, though not as cordially. But really, if you have the slightest idea of how things are between China and Japan, you'd be careful not to make assumptions. And besides, disregarding others' feelings and judging them on insufficient grounds is not polite by itself.
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cacue23
Triglot
Groupie
Canada
Joined 4297 days ago
89 posts - 122 votes 
Speaks: Shanghainese, Mandarin*, English
Studies: Cantonese

 
 Message 22 of 32
14 September 2013 at 2:19am | IP Logged 
Ogrim wrote:
I had that experience this summer in Crete. I saw this couple taking pictures of each other and we wanted them to take a family photo of us, so I approached and heared that they spoke Russian, so I asked in my best Russian where in Russia they were from. The man turned and said "We are from Kiev, Ukraine", and they walked away. Next time I'll just ask an even more stupid question if I want to strike up a conversation: "Do you speak Russian?"


I like that question. Since you are interested in practicing the language itself it's best to show your interest in that language. And you could easily follow it up with "I've been learning Russian for _____ (insert time)" and they'd be properly impressed. I'll use that approach the next time I want to practice my French.
1 person has voted this message useful



Snowflake
Senior Member
United States
Joined 5957 days ago
1032 posts - 1233 votes 
Studies: Mandarin

 
 Message 23 of 32
14 September 2013 at 5:32pm | IP Logged 
Bakunin wrote:
cacue23 wrote:
Personally if people ask me if I were Japanese, I would wear a fake smile, tell them I'm Chinese, and then drop my smile right off and walk away.


I'd be glad to see you walk away. Conversations with people with nationalist or racist views is something I'd rather avoid.


There are reasons why the question is considered offensive....
1... it often conveys an underlying assumption that all persons of Asian descent look alike
2... it often conveys an underlying assumption that all persons of Asian descent are born and/or raised in foreign Asian countries and therefore that person is not Canadian, Swiss, American, whatever, because of their appearance. It can be the equivalent of, in the US, asking an African-American what African country did they immigrate from.

There are additional reasons which would take more time to explain.

Edited by Snowflake on 14 September 2013 at 8:19pm
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beano
Diglot
Senior Member
United KingdomRegistered users can see my Skype Name
Joined 4620 days ago
1049 posts - 2152 votes 
Speaks: English*, German
Studies: Russian, Serbian, Hungarian

 
 Message 24 of 32
14 September 2013 at 10:39pm | IP Logged 
Snowflake wrote:


It can be the equivalent of, in the US, asking an African-American what African country did they immigrate
from.



What exactly does "African American" mean? Either you are from Africa or America.


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