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Bilingual Jokes | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : General discussion |  | |
| dmg Diglot Senior Member Canada dgryski.blogspot.comRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 7016 days ago 555 posts - 605 votes  1 sounds Speaks: English*, French Studies: Dutch, Esperanto | Message 1 of 76 12 December 2006 at 10:35pm | IP Logged | ||
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One thing I enjoy about learning a foreign language are bilingual jokes: jokes where the punchline requires an understanding of more than just the language the joke is told in, or a joke that is told in more than one language.
Here are my three favourite (well, I only know the three) English/French bilingual jokes: (A knock knock joke) A: Frappe Frappe. B: Qui est là? A: Losta. B: Losta qui? (Lost a key?) A: Oui! (This is funnier when spoken -- the joke gets lost when written:) "I've been so depressed since my cooking oil was stolen. It's as though I've lost my huile d'olive (will to live.) Finally, a Tom Swifty "I refuse to obey that French 'No Smoking' sign," fumed Tom defensively. ("Defense de Fumer" = "No Smoking") 10 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| fanatic Octoglot Senior Member Australia speedmathematics.com Joined 7151 days ago 1152 posts - 1818 votes Speaks: English*, German, French, Afrikaans, Italian, Spanish, Russian, Dutch Studies: Swedish, Norwegian, Polish, Modern Hebrew, Malay, Mandarin, Esperanto | Message 2 of 76 13 December 2006 at 12:35am | IP Logged | ||
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A German spy was dropped into England during the war.
He made his way to a pub to integrate himself into the community and culture. He went up to the barman and said, "I'd like a martini please." "Dry?" "If I want three I will ask for them." 13 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| seldnar Senior Member United States Joined 7137 days ago 189 posts - 287 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Mandarin, French, Greek | Message 3 of 76 13 December 2006 at 1:20am | IP Logged | ||
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There was once a mama cat who had four kittens. There names were Un, Deux, Trois and Quatre.
One year for Christmas they each received a pair of shiny skates from their uncle. "Mama, may we go down to the pond and skate?" Un, Deux, Trois and Quatre asked in unison. "Non." Said mama cat. "The ice is too thin and is dangerous." Every day the four little kittens pleaded with their mother, but each day she would say no. One day she had to go in to the village to buy some things. Before she left she said "Un, Deux, Trois and Quatre you must promise mama that you will not go skating down at the pond." "Oui, mama," each of them promised. But as soon as their mother was out of sight, the four little kittens, Un, Deux, Trois and Quatre ran down to the pond with their skates. They got on to the ice but mama cat was right: it was too thin. Un, Deux, Trois and Quatre, cinq [sank]. 4 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| Captain Haddock Diglot Senior Member Japan kanjicabinet.tumblr. Joined 6773 days ago 2282 posts - 2814 votes Speaks: English*, Japanese Studies: French, Korean, Ancient Greek | Message 4 of 76 13 December 2006 at 4:32am | IP Logged | ||
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I'm pretty sure I've heard a variation of that cat one. :)
It's not exactly a joke, but there was once a Unix text editior called EINE, which stood for Eine Is Not Emacs. When the second version came out, they called it ZWEI, which stood for Zwei Was Eine Initially. You've gotta love computer nerds and their bilingual recursive acronym puns. :) Edited by Captain Haddock on 13 December 2006 at 4:33am 4 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| dmg Diglot Senior Member Canada dgryski.blogspot.comRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 7016 days ago 555 posts - 605 votes 1 sounds Speaks: English*, French Studies: Dutch, Esperanto | Message 5 of 76 13 December 2006 at 8:26am | IP Logged | ||
This reminds me of one of the classic Latin jokes. It's from part of a Wayne and Shuster (two Canadian comedians from the 60s) sketch, a sendup of a film-noir private eye investigating the murder of Julius Ceasar. Claudius: What'll ya have? Flavius: Give me a Martinus. Claudius: Don't you mean a MartiNI? Flavius: If I wanted two, I'd ask for it. (Full video at http://www.canadianshakespeares.ca/multimedia/video/wayne_sh uster(rinse_the_blood).asx) 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| nook Diglot Newbie United States Joined 6562 days ago 5 posts - 6 votes Speaks: English*, Spanish | Message 6 of 76 13 December 2006 at 8:27pm | IP Logged | ||
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A couple of Spanish/English puns:
Con men are really with it! The Chicago Bears are oso bad! 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| Wildfire Diglot Newbie Russian Federation Joined 6648 days ago 14 posts - 21 votes Speaks: Russian*, English Studies: French | Message 7 of 76 14 December 2006 at 11:48am | IP Logged | ||
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Here're bilingual jokes that are told in Ukrainian/Russian or English/Russian (I'll translate the one that doesn't lose its original sence after doing so, otherwise being able to understand Russian is needed. Romanized versions are also included so that people having problems with encoding can read em)
1) Russian + Ukrainian Спорят о красоте рyсский и yкраинец. Рyсский говорит: - Hy что y вас, хохлов, за язык, что ни слово - то прикол. Украинец, заинтересованно: - Hy яке, наприклад? - А вот слово НЕЗАБАРОМ, это где?! Возле бара или перед баром? Украинец, обиженно: - Hy, y вас, кацапiв, теж э такi слова. Русский, с насмешкой: - А y нас-то какие? Украинец, гордо: - А ось СРАВНИ. Це як - срав чи нi? Sporjat o krasote russkij i ukrainec. Russkij govorit: - Nu chto u vas, hohlov, za jazyk, chto ni slovo - to prikol. Ukrainec, zainteresovanno: - Nu jakie, napriklad? - A vot slovo NEZABAROM, eto gde?! Vozle bara ili pered barom? Ukrainec, obizhenno: - Nu, u vas, kacapiv, tezh je taki slova. Russkij, s nasmeshkoj: - A u nas-to kakie? Ukrainec, gordo: - A os' SRAVNI. Ce jak - srav chi ni? ________________________________________ 2) Russian + Ukrainian Заседание Верховной Рады Украины. - Hy що, москалi в залi?? - Hi, нема! - Hy тогда можно и по-рyсски... Zasedanie Verhovnoj Rady Ukrainy. - Nu wo, moskali v zali?? - Ni, nema! - Nu togda mozhno i po-russki... IN ENGLISH: At the sitting of Ukrainian Verkhovnaya Rada (chamber of the parliament). One of deputies asks (in Ukrainian): - So, are there Russians in this hall? Response (in Ukrainian): - No, there aren't! Then that deputy says (in Russian): - Let's speak Russian then. ________________________________________ 3) a poem in Russian / English :) тихо падает bucks, мерно тикают clocks... настроение sux, словно нюхаю socks. залетел свежий air сквозь балконную door. мне подстричь бы свой hair, да побрится once more. с похмела ноет head - был вчера трудный day. всё какое то bad,всё какое то gray... чем травить себе soul, лучше ставить на luck: снять на улице girl,а потом ее f**k. настроение nice, но кругом, братцы, s**t. и повысили price,на тверской f**king street. обламали, блин, кайф, вся надежда на hand. вот такая, блин, life, вот такой happy-end! настроение fine, хоть за окнами cold хоть успехов a little, а уж 20 years old! скоро вновь будет spring, будит солнце нам shine. будут птицы нам sing, в целом truly divine :) tiho padaet bucks, merno tikajut clocks... nastroenie sux, slovno njuhaju socks. zaletel svezhij air skvoz' balkonnuju door. mne podstrich' by svoj hair, da pobritsja once more. s pohmela noet head - byl vchera trudnyj day. vsjo kakoe to bad, vsjo kakoe to gray... chem travit' sebe soul, luchshe stavit' na luck: snjat' na ulice girl,a potom ee f**k. nastroenie nice, no krugom, bratcy, s**t. i povysili price na tverskoj f**king street. oblamali, blin, kajf, vsja nadezhda na hand. vot takaja, blin, life, vot takoj happy-end! nastroenie fine, hot' za oknami cold hot' uspehov a little, a uzh 20 years old! skoro vnov' budet spring, budit solnce nam shine. budut pticy nam sing, v celom truly divine :) ________________________________________ 4) How *not* to translate from English to Russian :) Can you hear me - Ты можешь меня здесь Undressed custom model - Голая таможенная модель Manicure - Деньги лечат I'm just asking - Я всего лишь король ж*п I have been there - У меня там фасоль God only knows - Единственный нос бога We are the champions - Мы шампиньоны Bye bye baby, baby good bye - Купи купи ребенка, ребонок хорошая покупка To be or not to be? - Две пчелы или не две пчелы? I fell in love - Я свалился в любовь. Just in case - Только в портфеле Oh dear - Ах, олень. I'm going to make you mine - Я иду копать тебе шахту May God be with you - Майская хорошая пчелка с тобой Watch out! - Посмотри снаружи! I know his story well - Я знаю твой исторический колодец Let it be! - Давайте жрать пчел! Press space bar to continue - Космический бар прессы продолжает .. Barbecue - очередь за Барби Can you hear me - Ty mozhesh' menja zdes' Undressed custom model - Golaja tamozhennaja model' Manicure - Den'gi lechat I'm just asking - Ja vsego lish' korol' zh*p I have been there - U menja tam fasol' God only knows - Edinstvennyj nos boga We are the champions - My shampin'ony Bye bye baby, baby good bye - Kupi kupi rebenka, rebonok horoshaja pokupka To be or not to be? - Dve pchely ili ne dve pchely? I fell in love - Ja svalilsja v ljubov'. Just in case - Tol'ko v portfele Oh dear - Ah, olen'. I'm going to make you mine - JA idu kopat' tebe shahtu May God be with you - Majskaja horoshaja pchelka s toboj Watch out! - Posmotri snaruzhi! I know his story well - Jа znaju tvoj istoricheskij kolodec Let it be! - Davajte zhrat' pchel! Press space bar to continue - Kosmicheskij bar pressy prodolzhaet .. Barbecue - ochered' za Barbi Edited by Wildfire on 14 December 2006 at 11:57am 6 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| patuco Diglot Moderator Gibraltar Joined 7020 days ago 3795 posts - 4268 votes Speaks: Spanish, English* Personal Language Map | Message 8 of 76 07 April 2007 at 5:23am | IP Logged | ||
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I finally remembered one...
An Englishman went to Spain on a fishing trip. He hired a Spanish guide to help him find the best fishing spots. Since the Englishman was learning Spanish, he asked the guide to speak to him in Spanish and to correct any mistakes of usage. They were hiking on a mountain trail when a very large, purple and blue fly crossed their path. The Englishmen pointed at the insect with his fishing rod, and said, "Mira el mosca!" The guide, sensing a teaching opportunity, replied, "No, senor, 'la mosca'... es feminina." The Englishman looked at him, then back at the fly, and then said, "Good heavens... you must have incredibly good eyesight." 19 persons have voted this message useful |
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