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Consequence of punctuation | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : General discussion |  | |
| cacue23 Triglot Groupie Canada Joined 4304 days ago 89 posts - 122 votes  Speaks: Shanghainese, Mandarin*, English Studies: Cantonese | Message 1 of 6 07 March 2013 at 9:12pm | IP Logged |
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Diastrous when a love letter turned into a hate letter...
Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy. Will you let me be yours? Jane Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Jane One hell of a punctuation joke. I suppose many of you have seen it, but funny nonetheless. 6 persons have voted this message useful | |
| Tsopivo Diglot Senior Member Canada Joined 4476 days ago 258 posts - 411 votes Speaks: French*, English Studies: Esperanto | Message 2 of 6 10 March 2013 at 5:47am | IP Logged |
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Another well known one is the panda one :
" A giant panda goes into one of those expensive and pretentious restaurants serving French/Asian fusion cuisine and takes a table for one. The surprised waiter for that table explains unctuously that his name is Marcel, he will be your server tonight, and we 'ave a number of specials (he is French), etc., etc. The panda listens impassively to the list of $27 chili-pepper encrusted swordfish specials and so on, and then orders a delicately flavored dish of young bamboo tips and mixed greenery served with steamed jasmine rice. On finishing his meal, the panda gets up, reaches into his fur for a handgun, brings down the waiter with one shot, and calmly heads for the door. The head waiter is near the door and exclaims in shock, "Oh, monsieur, what 'ave you done? You 'ave killed Marcel! Why 'ave you done zis, monsieur? You 'ad some problem? Ze service was not acceptable?" The panda scowls at him and says, "I'm a f**king panda. Go look it up." He stalks out into the night. The baffled staff huddle round the compact encyclopedic dictionary that they keep on the premises, and turning to Panda, giant, they read this: Panda, giant. Large bear-like animal, Ailuropoda melanoleuca, with distinctive black and white markings, related to raccoon family. Rare; found only in bamboo forests of Tibet and western China. Eats, shoots and leaves." 3 persons have voted this message useful | |
| espejismo Diglot Senior Member Russian Federation Joined 5056 days ago 498 posts - 905 votes Speaks: Russian*, English Studies: Spanish, Greek, Azerbaijani | Message 3 of 6 10 March 2013 at 9:05am | IP Logged |
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^ haha, there's a great, fun book about this called Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation. Edited by espejismo on 10 March 2013 at 9:07am 2 persons have voted this message useful | |
| pesahson Diglot Senior Member Poland Joined 5733 days ago 448 posts - 840 votes Speaks: Polish*, English Studies: French, Portuguese, Norwegian | Message 4 of 6 10 March 2013 at 12:03pm | IP Logged |
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I recommend "Eat, shoots and leaves" as well. It's a great read. One of the examples given in that book is that a misplaced comma can have much graver consequences then the example in the first post of this thread. Consider this example from the Bible:
"Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise" or "Assuredly, I say to you today, you will be with Me in Paradise". Anyway, I'm not religious so I don't know which version is the standard one, but it makes you wonder. Edited by pesahson on 10 March 2013 at 12:03pm 2 persons have voted this message useful | |
| Fuenf_Katzen Diglot Senior Member United States notjustajd.wordpress Joined 4374 days ago 337 posts - 476 votes Speaks: English*, German Studies: Polish, Ukrainian, Afrikaans | Message 5 of 6 10 March 2013 at 1:25pm | IP Logged |
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There can be a lot of funny writings due to a missing comma. The one I can think of now is "For breakfast, I'm having eggs, toast, and bacon." Or: "For breakfast, I'm having eggs, toast and bacon."
1 person has voted this message useful | |
| Presidio Triglot Newbie United States Joined 4586 days ago 39 posts - 150 votes Speaks: English*, Russian, German Studies: Spanish, Arabic (Gulf) | Message 6 of 6 10 March 2013 at 10:14pm | IP Logged |
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The comma is actually a lifesaver.
It is the difference between "Let's eat, Grandma!" and "Let's eat Grandma!" 2 persons have voted this message useful |
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