Sunja Diglot Senior Member Germany Joined 6074 days ago 2020 posts - 2295 votes 1 sounds Speaks: English*, German Studies: French, Mandarin
| Message 1 of 3 05 July 2009 at 5:09pm | IP Logged |
I have a question about receiving and giving compliments.
I'm doing Japanese correspondence -- Japanese-English, -- where we give each other corrections and support. I already understand how complicated gift-giving is. What about compliments? The last time I got a compliment I responded with まあまあです. Is this okay or is a flat-out denial いやいや、そんなことないよ better?
Probably more important: when they humble themselves, is the trick to make myself look worse? Will it embarrass them if I give them a compliment on their English? They deny it and then what?
It's a on-going theme!
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qklilx Moderator United States Joined 6175 days ago 459 posts - 477 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Korean Personal Language Map
| Message 2 of 3 10 July 2009 at 10:35pm | IP Logged |
The key is to always humble yourself, as that's one of the cores of the culture. Deny it, understate your abilities, and so on. There's no problem with complimenting them; but do keep this in mind, at least for language compliments: the more you compliment a person's language, the less skilled they are. Unless you're first meeting the person, compliments are usually used to try and keep your spirits high so you can try harder and learn more.
An anecdote that happened to me recently was I was sitting down with a couple Japanese friends I hadn't seen in almost a year. I hadn't spoken Japanese except for a week-long period for the past 10 months (at the beginning of that time period) so my skills were rusty to the point you wouldn't want your child touching it. Sadly enough for me, both of these guys, who hadn't said anything about my Japanese since they met me 2 years ago, began complimenting me when they saw I was getting frustrated with speaking.
You'll learn the complimenting culture of Japan with experience, so don't worry too much.
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Sunja Diglot Senior Member Germany Joined 6074 days ago 2020 posts - 2295 votes 1 sounds Speaks: English*, German Studies: French, Mandarin
| Message 3 of 3 11 July 2009 at 8:29pm | IP Logged |
qklilx wrote:
but do keep this in mind, at least for language compliments: the more you compliment a person's language, the less skilled they are. |
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really? ^^ (lol). I've gotten some compliments; some strange and some bland. My favorite word to date that someone used to describe their reaction to my writing is "bemused" he-he-he!
qklilx wrote:
You'll learn the complimenting culture of Japan with experience, so don't worry too much. |
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Yep! Your input is helpful, thanks!
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