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Sennin
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Bulgaria
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 Message 9 of 17
12 September 2009 at 9:36pm | IP Logged 
Cainntear wrote:
Sennin wrote:
However, I don't think "it better be used" is wrong. If memory serves, you were the one to defend "forms in popular use" as being correct by virtue of their popularity alone. Now you're making a U-turn and defending the opposite idea.

That's wrong on two counts:

First of all, while I have always said that I am in favour of using language as it is spoken, I also always say that when someone is learning for an exam, I would teach the forms that they need in the exam. I'm assuming that the course Daniel is taking expects him to be able to use formal language appropriately.

Secondly, and more importantly, this is not just a question of formal vs informal, but the form "it better be" is completely incorrect in this context.

As I said, it's a threat or a warning -- "you'd better stop that" normally means that there is a direct negative consequence, for example "or I'll punch you". In this case, what Daniel was trying to get to is that "the money would be better spent on..."


Ahh, but it is not wrong in the context! This is the context:

As for the money, it better be used in works such as bettering the bus service

It is a suggestion that conveys a certain level of disagreement about the way money are currently used. However, I fail to see it as a threat. Substituting it for "you'd better stop that" would convey a very different idea. I am aware it is arrogant on my part to contradict a native speaker but in this case the expression just fits in context and I am quite confident in its use. It would be nice if another native speaker can join the discussion and arbitrate this.

Also, you keep saying this is one of my errors. Would you be so kind to mention the rest because as far as I can tell this is the only one (and it is a matter of style more than anything else).

Cainntear wrote:

The reason I only mentioned one of your errors is that explaining the error gives Daniel his answers, and I am not willing to do his homework for him -- that's not how you learn a language, and that's not what we're here for (see site rules).

It would be wrong to completely rewrite his letter. I just provided him with some tips and a few corrections of the most obvious problems. In my view this is beneficial not only to his grade but also as a study aid.

Edited by Sennin on 12 September 2009 at 9:43pm

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lancemanion
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 Message 10 of 17
13 September 2009 at 5:04am | IP Logged 
daniel-italia wrote:
As for the money, it has better to be used

As for the money, it would be better be used
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tpark
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 Message 11 of 17
13 September 2009 at 5:34am | IP Logged 
For this:

As for the money, it has better to be used in works such as bettering the bus service
and remaking some streets of the center that are still full of holes. The rest could
be saved for future plans.

One could also say:

It would be better to use the money for improving the bus service and repairing the streets. The rest could be used to pay for drunken parties for city officials.

There. Fixed that for you :)

"of the center" might be expressed as "in the center" or "in the city center".
"remaking some streets" could be "repairing (or fixing) the streets" or idiomatically "Fixing potholes".





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roncy
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 Message 12 of 17
13 September 2009 at 11:55am | IP Logged 
Sennin wrote:

Cainntear wrote:

The reason I only mentioned one of your errors is that explaining the error gives Daniel his answers, and I am not willing to do his homework for him -- that's not how you learn a language, and that's not what we're here for (see site rules).

It would be wrong to completely rewrite his letter. I just provided him with some tips and a few corrections of the most obvious problems. In my view this is beneficial not only to his grade but also as a study aid.

You're quite right, Cainntear misinterpreted the forum rules. Daniel-Italia did his homework himself, he did not ask anybody to do it for him. What he did want was someone to give him hints about improving his essay.
What does "that's not how you learn a language" mean? that we only learn if the teacher corrects something, and maybe gives us a bad grade for it, whereas we don't learn if someone else helps out? Strange logic that.
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Volte
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 Message 13 of 17
13 September 2009 at 11:22pm | IP Logged 
Sennin wrote:
Cainntear wrote:

As I said, it's a threat or a warning -- "you'd better stop that" normally means that there is a direct negative consequence, for example "or I'll punch you". In this case, what Daniel was trying to get to is that "the money would be better spent on..."


Ahh, but it is not wrong in the context! This is the context:

As for the money, it better be used in works such as bettering the bus service

It is a suggestion that conveys a certain level of disagreement about the way money are currently used. However, I fail to see it as a threat. Substituting it for "you'd better stop that" would convey a very different idea. I am aware it is arrogant on my part to contradict a native speaker but in this case the expression just fits in context and I am quite confident in its use. It would be nice if another native speaker can join the discussion and arbitrate this.



I have to agree with Cainntear 100% on this one. "As for the money, it better be used in works such as bettering the bus service" simply is not correct by any stretch of the imagination; it's actually a bit difficult to understand at first glance. Try something like "The money would be better spent on improving public transportation", perhaps. The key point, however, is that "it better be used" really does carry the threatening connotations Cainntear mentioned, and the thought actually meant really does need a form like "would better be used" or "would be better used" instead.



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Sennin
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 Message 14 of 17
13 September 2009 at 11:35pm | IP Logged 
Hmm, ok. My mistake ^_^.


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pfwillard
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 Message 15 of 17
14 September 2009 at 1:31am | IP Logged 
1. "Don't" use contractions in formal writing!

2. "Are we allowed to take away one of their fews
sane entertainments like the playground is? I'm afraid not."

The town should be the subject there. Americans often use "we" when they talk about collective entities, like America, their city or their state, but don't follow this habit. Keep it third person--the town and they.

3. "As for the money, it has better to be used in works such as bettering the bus service
and remaking some streets of the center that are still full of holes. The rest could
be saved for future plans." I would say instead: "the money should be used for the bus service and fill potholes." Better wants to be between two alternatives--you might say: "Keeping the playground is better than expanding Town Hall."

"Bettering" is almost never used (in the US anyway) except in the context of a previously unproductive person who is now trying to be gainfully employed.

Suggestion: If you see the verbs "to be" or "to have" and especially if both appear ("has better to be") in a sentence, draw a line through them and try using just one verb that matches the action exactly. English loves economical writing so think about the action that is taking place in the sentence, then look up the verb that describes that action.

4. Stick with the present tense, indicative or imperative mood and third person for most writing, but it's good to use first person in a letter to the editor, since your point of view or experiences are part of explaining your opinion.





Edited by pfwillard on 14 September 2009 at 1:35am

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Hencke
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 Message 16 of 17
14 September 2009 at 9:46am | IP Logged 
Sennin wrote:
Also, you keep saying this is one of my errors. Would you be so kind to mention the rest because as far as I can tell this is the only one (and it is a matter of style more than anything else).

Based on my humble and limited familiarity with English idiom I see all of your corrections as improvements to what the Original Poster wrote. That aside, many of them can probably be improved further, mostly for style as you say.

Even your "it better be" can be seen as an improvement - it is at least correct English, though Cainntear is completely right that it is inappropriate and wrong for the context.

Edited by Hencke on 14 September 2009 at 9:59am



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