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Curriculum for a job interview in English | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Questions About Your Target Languages |  | |
| daniel-italia Diglot Newbie Italy danielfavento.it Joined 5565 days ago 22 posts - 22 votes Speaks: Italian*, English Studies: German, Spanish, Romanian | Message 1 of 4 07 September 2009 at 9:53pm | IP Logged |
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A friend of mine needs my help for a job interview she's going to have.
And now I need your help!! Come on people! Let's lend a hand to her!! :) joking aside.. Could someone help me, please? I just need a little (I hope) correction.. Some passages are a little bit difficult because of the scientific language or because the Italian school structure is different from the English one.. (as for the rest of the world.. I don't know :() My name is XX XX, I was born in XX, Italy, on december 30, 1984. There I attended primary and secondary school and CONSEGUIRE the school-leaving examination (italian diploma), in which I was valued 100/100. In 2003 I moved to Pisa where I attended the university faculty of biomedical engineering. In 2007 I graduated (Bachelor of Science) after a fourteen-month thesis by the department of chemistry, where I gained knowledge in laboratory techniques. My graduation thesis, entitled "Study of procedure for the controlled curing of alginate based on the employment of systems of microparticles which realeases Calcium" was part of a wider project of regeneration and substitution of the intervertebral disk. In 2009 I got a postgraduate degree with major in biomedical engineering, in which I was valued 105/110. This graduation's thesis was entitled "Study of interaction of Boron nitride nanotubes with cell culture for biomedical applications". The study consisted of valueing the interaction between muscular-skeletal cells and Boron nitride nanotubes; These nanotubes are piezoelectrical so the study's purpose was that of giving muscular cells a wireless electrical impulse by means of an application of an external mechanical impulse (ultrasound); this impulse is finally turned into electrical impulse by the Boron nitride nanotube. The project took eight months and was performed by Pontedera laboratories (S. Anna school, Pisa) and by the medical school, department of biology and applied morphology. In my freetime I like travelling, going out with my friends, going to the cinema, doing sports. I really like sport, in fact I've been a football referee for 8 years. In the course of time I got the ability to work in flexible way, adapting myself to the several requests and maintaining high standards in estabilished time. I have a very good aptidute both for working with other collegues as a part of a work-team or with an organisation and for working in autonomy. I'm very operative and, as my friend say, a nice and sociable person. I'd like to work for this company because I love being in contact with public; besides it would help me to grow autonomously and independently, as I've always been used to do. Edited by daniel-italia on 07 September 2009 at 11:08pm 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| pfwillard Pro Member United States Joined 5705 days ago 169 posts - 205 votes  Speaks: English* Studies: French Personal Language Map | Message 2 of 4 08 September 2009 at 1:38am | IP Logged |
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Ciao, daniel-italia, I am afraid this requires a complete rewrite...
1. By CONSEGUIRE do you mean an acronym (that I don't recognize) or the verb conseguire? I would write "passed" 2. "in which I was valued 100/100" should be "with a score of 100/100" 3. "In 2007 I graduated (Bachelor of Science)..." I would say "I completed a B.of Sci in chemistry" with no parentheses. 4. "In 2009 I got a postgraduate degree" -- say "I completed a [name of degree]" don't say "got" about things you did work to acheive. 5. "This graduation's thesis"--say "My thesis" 6. "valueing" should be "measuring" 7. Delete: "These nanotubes are piezoelectrical so the study's purpose was that of" and replace with "Taking advantage of the the piezoelectric properties of boron nitride nanotubes..." and then the next bit. 8. In scientific writing,sometimes it is the style to use a construction more like "a wireless electrical impulse by means of an application of an external ultrasonic mechanical impulse was applied to muscle cells and turned into electrical impulse by the Boron nitride nanotube." 9."In my freetime I like travelling, going out with my friends, going to the cinema, doing sports." She should only tell about her time as a referee. "Free time" is two words. 10. "I'm very operative"--I think you want to say "effective" but I still don't understand. In corresponding with people, don't use the word "nice" because it used to mean "lewd" and you might meet someone (like me) who thinks it still does... Besides, even in Webster's dictionary, the first definition is "wanton", "pleasing, agreeable" is the fifth definition and "kind" is the seventh definition. 11. Don't say "I'd like to work for this company because I love being in contact with public; besides it would help me to grow autonomously and independently, as I've always been used to do." Instead, say why she is a good fit for the job: She has the skills to do the job well and the character required to fit into that organization. 12. Don't use semicolons quite so much. 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| daniel-italia Diglot Newbie Italy danielfavento.it Joined 5565 days ago 22 posts - 22 votes Speaks: Italian*, English Studies: German, Spanish, Romanian | Message 3 of 4 08 September 2009 at 11:38am | IP Logged |
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Thanks!!! I was afraid nobody was going to answer me :p
by point 10 I mean she likes doing a lot of things and being full of committments.. In Italian I would say ATTIVA. I don't know if it could help you, but I see you're studying french and Spanish.. maybe the words are similiar by point 11 I don't understand exactly what you mean.. Maybe I should write it in this way: I have the skill to work with public and working for this company would help me to grow autonomously and independently, as I've always been used to do. could it be? Maybe she should write something more about her skills but actually she has not the time by now: she has the interview tomorrow and she should also study her curriculum by heart! by point 1 I forgot to translate CONSEGUIRE :D I've just written "passed" thanks ;) Edited by daniel-italia on 08 September 2009 at 11:40am 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| pfwillard Pro Member United States Joined 5705 days ago 169 posts - 205 votes Speaks: English* Studies: French Personal Language Map | Message 4 of 4 13 September 2009 at 11:26pm | IP Logged |
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Sorry I didn't get back you, I only check this forum about once or twice a week. I hope she got the job!
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