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My oral presentation about the earthquake | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Questions About Your Target Languages |  | |
| vivianpc Diglot Newbie ChinaRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5686 days ago 2 posts - 2 votes Speaks: Mandarin*, English | Message 1 of 2 24 April 2009 at 1:25pm | IP Logged |
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My foreign teacher for English will hold a oral presentation on May,7.We write an article on the topic we chose.I am going to talk about my experience in the 5.12 earthquake and here is my composition.I am not sure that weather there r some mistakes or some words used inproperly.I will be so glad if you can help me to correct them and to beautify the article.
THANKS. Here is my outline. Outline My topic: My experience in the 5•12 earthquake Part 1: My normal life before the earthquake Part 2: What did I feel when the earthquake happen Part 3: My special life in one month after the earthquake Part 4: My feeling about the earthquake now Here is my article My experience in the 5•12 earthquake If we talk about some of the most unforgettable things happened in China last year, lots of people will come up with Beijing Olympic games or the chang’e satellite, but they will also surely remember the terrible earthquake which attractted the world’s attention to Sichuan province in May-a month that should have be beautiful. Before the earthquake, my life was just the same as many thousands of students at grade 3 in china. Got up at 6:30, rushed to the dining hall to eat breakfast, then ran to the classroom to attend 14 classes whole day, and returned home at 11 o’clock and went to sleep right after 0:30. It was really busy, but we had a proper arrangement everyday. Everything seemed to be very reasonable, cos study was the only task at that time. The afternoon at 5.12, nothing strange at first, nobody knew that the disaster was coming. Our classes started at 2:35 in the afternoon, so my father drove me to school at 2:20. While doing some homework at my seat, I felt a strong shake. First I thought that maybe some workers were tearing down one of the oldest buildings so that it cause the earth to move. But the shake didn’t mean to stop after 10 seconds, it seemed to be continuous. The boy sitting behind me saw outside of the classroom, said “it’s earthquake” calmly to me, and ran out of the classroom before I realized what he had said. In fact there were not many students in the classroom at that time, the majority was on their way to the classroom, my deskmate-a girl named Alice and I were the only girls inside. She tried to pull me to run rightly after she heard the word earthquake, but I actually didn’t want to go at that time. You know why? I just couldn’t believe it! Earthquake is such an uncommon thing that I didn’t believe it will happen to me! So I was still sitting there to wait the shake to stop. Alice was very worried to see I didn't move at all, she came to me again to drag me from the most-inside. Just as we ran to the middle of the classroom, the monitor reached the door and shouted : “There are so many people on the staircase now, we must just stay here to wait! Hide yourselves under the desk and use bags to protect your head!”Some board began to drop off from the ceiling as he saying these words and we found the fans are still turning at the same time! It was still shaking violently, so were the desks. We could hardly to squat beneath them. Alice was very frightened and began to cry and her sharp crying made me realize how serious the things that was happening! Some large pieces of the ceiling board falled down onto our body, but quickly some boys came to protect us by putting their own body above ours. Just when the shake became slightly and the shout outside became low, two boys led us downstairs by holding our hands. At the time we got to the sports field,so many people crying and looking for friends there. Some student were even hurt and bleeding ceaselessly. The headmaster gathered people on the field and used a loudspeaker to tell us the earthquake. Someone tried to buy some food before the school closed and everything was in confusion. Because the heavily shake destroyed the communication system, we had no method to contact with our relatives. Some hours later, the students lived in the dormitory carried their mattings and bedclothes to the field to make the preparation to sleep outside. My father knows that there will likely be a heavy rain after the earthquake, so he came to school to take me to the car to sleep, I also took a friend of mine. We drove the car to an open area far from the city and knew the terrible earthquake by radio. The first night in the car was really cautious and anxious. Next morning back to school, we were told to go back and wait for the notice. The college entrance exam is just around the corner, so we took risk going upstairs to fetch some books and examination papers, teachers also handed out some homework to us. Things changed rapidly after the earth quake. Nearly all the shop was out of store, and we even pulled up some wild grass to cook. A few days later I went back home, but always woke up frequently because of the aftershocks in the night. And the most important thing was that we had to study hard even under that bad condition. Sometimes it shaked during the class, at first we all went outside frightenedly. Some times later, we were really customed to this and just stayed calm or even ignored the aftershocks. Then came the threaten of the flood and the disease, but we all felt that there was nothing a big deal. We got through all the difficult times and finally took the entrance exam in the temporary-built board room. I think the earthquake have taught me more than I can tell. One of the most impressive image is the love between us-maybe that is what we called solidarity. The number 512 sounded like I want love in Chinese, I was deeply moved by the love during this period. The love between friends, between relatives, and even between strangers all touch my heart. This unique experience also taugh me to be strong and tough. I learn to be optimistic when face up to the difficulties. There is an old saying, God helps those who help themselves. We must believe no matter how miserable the situation is ,there is still hope left. And hope is mean to be a bright future. 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| speedcuber206 Diglot Newbie United States lingophiliac.com Joined 6039 days ago 25 posts - 25 votes Speaks: English*, Cantonese Studies: French, Mandarin | Message 2 of 2 09 May 2009 at 8:49pm | IP Logged |
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vivian pc,
i read through it quickly and made some minor adjustments. in an attempt to preserve your work, i tried to change as little as possible, only changing what i felt were mistakes that really needed fixing. other than that, most of the what you wrote is still in tact. with that said, i did not try to change some of your awkward sounding sentences if they made grammatical sense. okay. as i mentioned before, i read through it quite quickly, so there may still be mistakes...in fact, there are probably still mistakes. ------ If we talk about some of the most unforgettable things that happened in China last year, a lot of people will come up with the Beijing Olympic Games or the Chang Satellite, but they will also surely remember the terrible earthquake which attracted the world’s attention to Sichuan in May - a month that is typically beautiful. Before the earthquake, my life was just the same as many other students in grade 3 in China. I got up at 6:30, rushed to the dining hall to eat breakfast, ran to the classroom to attend 14 classes, and returned home at 11 o’clock only to sleep around 12:30. It was really busy, but we had an arranged schedule everyday. Everything seemed to be very reasonable because study was the only task at that time. On May 12, in the afternoon, nothing seemed strange at first, and nobody knew that the disaster was coming. Our classes started at 2:35 in the afternoon, so my father drove me to school at 2:20. While doing some homework at my seat, I felt a strong shake. First, I thought that maybe some workers were tearing down one of the oldest buildings and that that caused the earth to move. But the shake didn’t stop after 10 seconds and it seemed to be continuous. The boy sitting behind me looked outside the classroom and said, “it’s earthquake” calmly to me, and ran out of the classroom before I realized what he had said. In fact there were not many students in the classroom at that time; the majority of them were on their way to the classroom. My deskmate, a girl named Alice, and I were the only girls inside. She tried to pull me to run after she heard the word earthquake, but I actually didn’t want to go at that time. You know why? I just couldn’t believe it! Earthquakes are such uncommon occurances that I didn’t believe that one would occur in my lifetime! So, I sat there to wait for the shaking to stop. Alice was very worried to see I didn't move at all, and she came to me again to drag me from the inside. Just as we ran to the middle of the classroom, the monitor reached the door and shouted, “There are so many people on the staircase now, we must just stay here to wait! Hide yourselves under the desk and use bags to protect your head!” Some boards began to drop from the ceiling as he was saying these words and we found that the fans were still turning at the same time! The earth was still shaking violently and so were the desks. We could hardly squat beneath them. Alice was very frightened and began to cry; her sharp cry made me realize the severity of our situation. Some large pieces of the ceiling board began to fall down towards our bodies, but some boys quickly came to protect us by putting their own bodies above ours. As the shaking subsided and most of the shouting outside stopped, two boys led us downstairs, holding our hands. When we got to the sports field many people were crying and looking for friends. Some students were even hurt and bled ceaselessly. The headmaster gathered people on the field and used a loudspeaker to inform us about the earthquake. Someone tried to buy some food before the school closed and everything was confusing. Because the strong quake destroyed the communication system, we had no method to contact our relatives. Some hours later, the students that lived in the dormitory carried their mattings and bedclothes to the field to make preparations to sleep outside. My father knew that there would likely be a heavy rain after the earthquake, so he came to school to take me to the car to sleep. We drove the car to an open area far from the city where we were updated about the terrible earthquake by radio. The first night I was in the car I was really cautious and anxious. The next morning, back at school, we were told to go back and to wait for the notice. The college entrance exam was just around the corner, so we took the risk to go upstairs to fetch some books and examination papers. Teachers also handed out some homework to us. Things changed rapidly after the earthquake. Nearly all shops were out of business, and we even pulled up some wild grass to cook. A few days later, I went back home, but I always woke up frequently because of the aftershocks in the night. And the most important thing was that we had to study hard even under the bad conditions. Sometimes it shook during the class and at first, we all went outside frightened. However, later, we were really accustomed to this and we just stayed calm or even ignored the aftershocks. Then came the threat of flood and disease, but we all felt that it wasn't a big deal. We got through all of the difficult times and finally took the entrance exam in the temporary-built board room. I think the earthquake experience taught me more than I can tell. One of the most impressive images is the love between us. The number 512 sounds like "I want love" in Chinese, and I was deeply moved by the love during this period: the love between friends, between relatives, and even between strangers all touched my heart. This unique experience also taught me to be strong and tough. I learned to be optimistic when faced with difficulties. There is an old saying: God helps those who help themselves. We must believe no matter how miserable the situation is ,there is still hope left. 1 person has voted this message useful |
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