phouk Diglot Newbie Germany Joined 6038 days ago 28 posts - 48 votes Speaks: German*, English Studies: Russian
| Message 17 of 24 10 April 2009 at 9:24pm | IP Logged |
krog wrote:
What does punctuality mean to you?
I was supposed to meet my girlfriend's mother at 6 o'clock yesterday, and when I
managed to get there at 6.05 I felt quite pleased with myself. However, my
girlfriend's mother was not pleased with me. I got the feeling I'd have been better
off turning up ten minutes early. |
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My impression is: If you are supposed to meet somebody who you want to show to or who
can expect some special level of respect (like going to a job interview, meeting with
potential customers, meeting your potential mother-in-law... ;)), the respectful thing
to do is making sure that if they get there on time, they don't have to wait for you.
As you probably can't time your arrival on the minute, this usually means being 5 to
10 minutes early to have some buffer.
Even in such situations, probably nobody will be bothered by your being late by 5
minutes if you acknowledge the fact by just saying something like "Oh, sorry, I'm
late." 10 minutes and above, I personally would feel the need to add an explanation
/reason why I was late. It's probably better to be 10 minutes late and apologize than
being 5 minutes late and not even acknowledge the fact (as long as you don't do it
every time...).
One additional remark: While you will meet people in Germany who have this concept of
punctuality, expect it from others and follow it themselves, you will also find people
who have a more laid back/flexible attitude to time (especially among younger people).
So please don't be too disappointed if you have an appointment with some German and
they are late. ;)
But it all depends on the situation: For example, being 1 to 2 hours late to a party
among e.g. students is normal and expected, even in Germany. ;)
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Paramecium Tetraglot Groupie Germany Joined 5712 days ago 46 posts - 59 votes Speaks: German*, English, French, Russian Studies: Japanese
| Message 18 of 24 11 April 2009 at 12:47am | IP Logged |
I completely agree with phouk. The German punctuality in is no myth. If you turn up too late at work or at a business meeting you are in serious trouble.
In private life all is a bit more relaxed. So if you come 5-10 minutes to late and excuse, nobody will rip off your head for it.
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Sennin Senior Member Bulgaria Joined 6034 days ago 1457 posts - 1759 votes 5 sounds
| Message 19 of 24 11 April 2009 at 12:54am | IP Logged |
Paramecium wrote:
So if you come 5-10 minutes to late and excuse, nobody will rip off your head for it. |
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That's reassuring ^_^
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ReneeMona Diglot Senior Member Netherlands Joined 5335 days ago 864 posts - 1274 votes Speaks: Dutch*, EnglishC2 Studies: French
| Message 20 of 24 05 October 2010 at 1:41pm | IP Logged |
In my culture and to me personally, punctuality is a pretty big deal. It depends on the social context of course, but being late (without a good enough excuse) is generally seen as a sign of disrespect because you are making someone wait for you and wasting their time. Being more than ten to fifteen minutes late without calling, calling to cancel within an hour beforehand or even on the same day or, heaven forbid, not showing up at all without calling are all big faux-pas.
When I have an appointment with someone I have never met or don’t know very well, I make sure I’m there at least 5 minutes in advance and I call if I’m delayed for more than a couple of minutes. If someone doesn’t show up within fifteen to twenty minutes, I’m not going to wait for them any longer unless they have a valid excuse.
With work and school, being a couple of minutes late is tolerated but it’s best to be there 10 to 5 minutes in advance. With friends and family it’s pretty flexible but showing up at ten o’clock for a private party or dinner that started at eight is very impolite. Most parties I go to are the kind where you’re welcome to drop by from a certain time so as long as you show up after that time and before the party starts winding down (unless you have somewhere else to be) it’s all fine. When I plan a get-together for friends, I would start calling them if they’re not there within 30 minutes after the planned time.
These are just my thoughts on the subject though. I see a lot of behaviour every day that I consider rude but that doesn’t seem to bother others at all so I may be a little too strict on this as well.
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Volte Tetraglot Senior Member Switzerland Joined 6439 days ago 4474 posts - 6726 votes Speaks: English*, Esperanto, German, Italian Studies: French, Finnish, Mandarin, Japanese
| Message 21 of 24 05 October 2010 at 2:39pm | IP Logged |
Sennin wrote:
Paramecium wrote:
So if you come 5-10 minutes to late and excuse, nobody will rip off your head for it. |
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That's reassuring ^_^ |
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Whether people will be disturbed without ripping your head off is another issue. I've seen people in Germany consider calling when someone socially expected is less than a minute late(!)
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Liface Triglot Senior Member United States youtube.com/user/Lif Joined 5858 days ago 150 posts - 237 votes Speaks: English*, German, Spanish Studies: Dutch, French
| Message 22 of 24 05 October 2010 at 6:11pm | IP Logged |
I'm American and very punctual, but also very patient. While it annoys me when I'm the first to show up for something, I patiently wait for others to arrive. I'm not sure if this is typical of Americans (I would describe my compatriots as extremely impatient), but it does seem like the American culture values punctuality over many other cultures.
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Lucky Charms Diglot Senior Member Japan lapacifica.net Joined 6949 days ago 752 posts - 1711 votes Speaks: English*, Japanese Studies: German, Spanish
| Message 23 of 24 06 October 2010 at 3:32am | IP Logged |
In Japan, people are punctual even to college parties. In fact, they'll show up half an hour early to see if they can help cook/set up. I was an officer of a Japanese-English language exchange club on my campus, and if our club members ever held a party say at 8, the Japanese members would all show up between 7:30-7:50 while the Americans would show up at 8:30 at the very earliest (9 or later being more common).
However, my Japanese friends tell me Okinawans are notoriously late for everything, running on their own 'Okinawan time'. I guess there might be something to Sennin's theory about warm places and daylight hours after all. :)
Edited by Lucky Charms on 06 October 2010 at 3:33am
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Jinx Triglot Senior Member Germany reverbnation.co Joined 5693 days ago 1085 posts - 1879 votes Speaks: English*, German, French Studies: Catalan, Dutch, Esperanto, Croatian, Serbian, Norwegian, Mandarin, Italian, Spanish, Yiddish
| Message 24 of 24 06 October 2010 at 4:22am | IP Logged |
I had a funny experience in this area while traveling in Europe with two friends last spring. I'm American, and my friends are French and Chinese. My French friend would always schedule everything ahead of time and count in possible delays on the subway etc. to make sure she would get to the meeting spot on time. I'd usually be on time, sometimes 5-10 minutes late; and my Chinese friend would regularly be 10-30 minutes late. After a while my French friend and I decided that when the three of us agreed on a time to meet, she and I would plan to arrive fifteen minutes AFTER that time. It ended up working perfectly!
I don't know if the punctuality (or lack of it) between the three of us is a cultural thing or not... it may just be completely individual, although possibly influenced by the cultural expectations of the place one has grown up in. Also, when living in Germany I loved the "academic quarter," and that was probably the first time in my life that I regularly got to every single one of my classes on time!
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