14 messages over 2 pages: 1 2 Next >>
sunny Groupie United States Joined 6248 days ago 98 posts - 128 votes Speaks: English* Studies: German, Russian, Welsh, French
| Message 1 of 14 21 August 2010 at 5:19pm | IP Logged |
I have a problem.
I have a few acquaintances who are natives of a different culture than mine. My
acquaintances tell racist jokes and use racist epithets, and also have the whole "women
not equal to men" mindset. This is very troublesome to me, as I hate xenophobia, and as
I and my children are multi-racial. I am also a woman and I believe women are equal
human beings to men.
Some of their jokes make me feel sick, in fact.
The problem I am having is this, in cross-cultural friendships do I have any right to
draw a line? Are my beliefs a cultural concept only which would make it a colonialist
attitude to try to impose upon them, or do my beliefs transcend the sphere of
"culture"?
I would really like to have cross-cultural friendships but these attitudes (which I am
finding are a bit common in this other culture) make it difficult to even like these
people that I know. I don't want to think that ALL of this culture is like this and
holds such beliefs contrary to my own.
In stark contrast, I have no problem respecting the religious differences at all, and
the differences really are BIG. My own spiritual beliefs I keep to myself as I believe
spirituality really is a private thing.
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budonoseito Pro Member United States budobeyondtechnRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5805 days ago 261 posts - 344 votes Studies: French, Japanese Personal Language Map
| Message 2 of 14 21 August 2010 at 6:11pm | IP Logged |
You definitely have a right to draw a line. At work, we have to take an annual sexual
harassment course. This includes race as well.
You could try to steer the conversation first. If that doesn't or hasn't worked, just say
as a women or multi-racial person I appreciate the differences between people.
Some people may never change, but the world is shrinking so we can help them be more
aware of their actions.
1 person has voted this message useful
| maydayayday Pentaglot Senior Member United Kingdom Joined 5219 days ago 564 posts - 839 votes Speaks: English*, German, Italian, SpanishB2, FrenchB2 Studies: Arabic (Egyptian), Russian, Swedish, Turkish, Polish, Persian, Vietnamese Studies: Urdu
| Message 3 of 14 21 August 2010 at 6:55pm | IP Logged |
Sunny
You are right to draw a line, it is sad when people havent yet realised that human is human. Race, culture, gender, ethnology, religion and language are all pretty superficial divides!
There are various tactics that can be employed to reduce the effectiveness of any offensive comment which are usually made by people who are too stupid to realise their own inadequacies.
Yay to you.
1 person has voted this message useful
| Cainntear Pentaglot Senior Member Scotland linguafrankly.blogsp Joined 6011 days ago 4399 posts - 7687 votes Speaks: Lowland Scots, English*, French, Spanish, Scottish Gaelic Studies: Catalan, Italian, German, Irish, Welsh
| Message 4 of 14 21 August 2010 at 7:22pm | IP Logged |
If you get really hacked off, why not just say "So you prefer men then...?" If they're sexist, chances are they won't like that.
2 persons have voted this message useful
| maydayayday Pentaglot Senior Member United Kingdom Joined 5219 days ago 564 posts - 839 votes Speaks: English*, German, Italian, SpanishB2, FrenchB2 Studies: Arabic (Egyptian), Russian, Swedish, Turkish, Polish, Persian, Vietnamese Studies: Urdu
| Message 5 of 14 22 August 2010 at 12:53am | IP Logged |
Nice one, Cainntear.... I was going to recommend a more pointed set of options but you summed it up.
1 person has voted this message useful
| maydayayday Pentaglot Senior Member United Kingdom Joined 5219 days ago 564 posts - 839 votes Speaks: English*, German, Italian, SpanishB2, FrenchB2 Studies: Arabic (Egyptian), Russian, Swedish, Turkish, Polish, Persian, Vietnamese Studies: Urdu
| Message 6 of 14 22 August 2010 at 12:54am | IP Logged |
Sunny
You don't have a problem. They do.
1 person has voted this message useful
| guesto Groupie Australia Joined 5741 days ago 76 posts - 118 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Italian, Spanish
| Message 7 of 14 22 August 2010 at 2:10am | IP Logged |
sunny wrote:
I have a problem.
I have a few acquaintances who are natives of a different culture than mine. My
acquaintances tell racist jokes and use racist epithets, and also have the whole "women
not equal to men" mindset. This is very troublesome to me, as I hate xenophobia, and as
I and my children are multi-racial. I am also a woman and I believe women are equal
human beings to men.
Some of their jokes make me feel sick, in fact.
The problem I am having is this, in cross-cultural friendships do I have any right to
draw a line? Are my beliefs a cultural concept only which would make it a colonialist
attitude to try to impose upon them, or do my beliefs transcend the sphere of
"culture"?
I would really like to have cross-cultural friendships but these attitudes (which I am
finding are a bit common in this other culture) make it difficult to even like these
people that I know. I don't want to think that ALL of this culture is like this and
holds such beliefs contrary to my own.
In stark contrast, I have no problem respecting the religious differences at all, and
the differences really are BIG. My own spiritual beliefs I keep to myself as I believe
spirituality really is a private thing. |
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It's up to you if you feel the need to protect yourself from people you disagree with, but I'd say it is a good opportunity to expose yourself to the rest of the world. The Anglo/European viewpoints you express are actually in the minority. It's good to know what the majority is thinking, whether you agree or not.
They say learning a language makes you more worldly and open-minded. Ironically, it is not always in the sense many of them have in mind. In my case, accustomed to the sterile, PC, Anglo culture, learning languages has opened my mind to opinions that... uh, many of my peers frown upon.
Edited by guesto on 22 August 2010 at 3:24am
1 person has voted this message useful
| PaulLambeth Senior Member United Kingdom Joined 5373 days ago 244 posts - 315 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Icelandic, Hindi, Irish
| Message 8 of 14 22 August 2010 at 2:44am | IP Logged |
Eh, I can't generally associate with people like that for long. If I ever hear anything mildly offensive or even dully stereotypical and predictable at the mention of a language or race (take someone doing a terrible Asian accent upon the mention of Asian cuisine), I make it obvious I didn't find it funny. And that's with close friends.
It's nice when you finally start meeting groups of people of whom none even think of saying anything along those lines. Conversations start becoming more interesting and you learn more. Guesto is right when they say it's a good opportunity to expose yourself to the rest of the world. You can't turn your back on the current friends though.
1 person has voted this message useful
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