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Physical contact with Koreans.

 Language Learning Forum : Cultural Experiences in Foreign Languages Post Reply
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noriyuki_nomura
Bilingual Octoglot
Senior Member
Switzerland
Joined 5340 days ago
304 posts - 465 votes 
Speaks: English*, Mandarin*, Japanese, FrenchC2, GermanC2, ItalianC1, SpanishB2, DutchB1
Studies: TurkishA1, Korean

 
 Message 9 of 17
01 May 2010 at 7:13pm | IP Logged 
Regarding this physical aspect, whenever you watch any Korean TV dramas/movies, you would pretty often come across scenes of aggressive physical contact between individuals/groups e.g. teachers hitting students with sticks, even on their heads; or using legs to stamp at others; and loud wailing; please pardon me perhaps for being ignorant, as I have never really been to South Korea before, but do the movies/TV dramas somehow reflect the reality?
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aerielle
Newbie
Korea, South
korea.calliston
Joined 5332 days ago
36 posts - 42 votes
Speaks: English*
Studies: Korean

 
 Message 10 of 17
01 May 2010 at 10:33pm | IP Logged 
I live in Korea, and Koreans generally seem to be pretty touchy-feely. I don't know about
Australians, but when compared with Americans, they have a much weaker concept of
personal space. Males touching females (who are not their significant others) seems to be
the one main exception, though.
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remix
Groupie
Australia
Joined 5668 days ago
41 posts - 46 votes
Speaks: English*
Studies: Korean

 
 Message 11 of 17
02 May 2010 at 7:04am | IP Logged 
Captain Haddock wrote:
It's not quite the same thing, but on a recent trans-oceanic flight with Korean Air, numerous Korean women
(complete strangers to me) were willing and eager to hold and even look after my infant son, even though none of
them could speak a word of English. Japanese people, in contrast, will crowd around him and play with him or
make faces at him, but be somewhat more reticent about asking to hold him.

The way Koreans play with children also struck me as being totally different — the sounds, the gestures, etc.

However, it seems to me that both cultures lack the paranoia of strangers that we've been cultivating in Anglo-
Saxon countries.


Yeah, I think that is quite lovely really. It's very human...

I am starting to think that most of the things I have read about etiquette are for business relationships and do not apply to personal relationships. The times I spend with Koreans are usually hanging out eating and drinking soju, so it's quite relaxed.

My general feeling is that if Koreans feel comfortable with you they will touch a lot, almost immediately. It will be interesting when I go to Korea whether I have the same experience I have had so far with my friends.
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Captain Haddock
Diglot
Senior Member
Japan
kanjicabinet.tumblr.
Joined 6768 days ago
2282 posts - 2814 votes 
Speaks: English*, Japanese
Studies: French, Korean, Ancient Greek

 
 Message 12 of 17
02 May 2010 at 9:40am | IP Logged 
Quote:
My general feeling is that if Koreans feel comfortable with you they will touch a lot, almost immediately. It
will be interesting when I go to Korea whether I have the same experience I have had so far with my friends.


If you want more of a culture-shock, see Thailand. Guys you've just met will rest their hands on your thigh (!) while
sitting beside you just to be friendly, and male friends will hold hands.
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Walshy
Triglot
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Australia
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 Message 13 of 17
03 May 2010 at 12:23pm | IP Logged 
remix wrote:
noriyuki_nomura wrote:
remix wrote:


I met this Korean girl that I had previously emailed. She gave me a hug. She had never seen me before and gave me a hug straight away. Once again, I didn't mind, but was surprised.

Sitting next to a Korean girl at a restaurant, having her press her body against me when reaching for water etc... Leaving her leg resting against mine while eating etc... Once again, I had known this person for about 2 hours at this stage.

Walking down the street with a girl and having her walk so close to me that we are literally bumping into each other on every second step and I am slowly being driven off the sidewalk into the gutter.


Errrm...could it be that, the girls were trying to flirt with you?


Noriyuki, If that is the case - I AM A STUD, because I barely know these people. I am talking about 3 separate girls here as well.

I think a better explanation is perhaps these people just feel comfortable with me for one reason or another... I also wonder if they are a little bit different to the average Korean. I am in Australia, so you have to be a little bit more adventurous to travel and live overseas.


What's the big mystery? You're an Australian in Australia learning Korean. That simple fact sets you apart from the crowd in their eyes.
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remix
Groupie
Australia
Joined 5668 days ago
41 posts - 46 votes
Speaks: English*
Studies: Korean

 
 Message 14 of 17
03 May 2010 at 1:07pm | IP Logged 
Walshy wrote:
remix wrote:
noriyuki_nomura wrote:
remix wrote:


I met this Korean girl that I had previously emailed. She gave me a hug. She had never seen me before and gave me a hug straight away. Once again, I didn't mind, but was surprised.

Sitting next to a Korean girl at a restaurant, having her press her body against me when reaching for water etc... Leaving her leg resting against mine while eating etc... Once again, I had known this person for about 2 hours at this stage.

Walking down the street with a girl and having her walk so close to me that we are literally bumping into each other on every second step and I am slowly being driven off the sidewalk into the gutter.


Errrm...could it be that, the girls were trying to flirt with you?


Noriyuki, If that is the case - I AM A STUD, because I barely know these people. I am talking about 3 separate girls here as well.

I think a better explanation is perhaps these people just feel comfortable with me for one reason or another... I also wonder if they are a little bit different to the average Korean. I am in Australia, so you have to be a little bit more adventurous to travel and live overseas.


What's the big mystery? You're an Australian in Australia learning Korean. That simple fact sets you apart from the crowd in their eyes.


Wow, simple answer is normally the best one... thanks.
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qklilx
Moderator
United States
Joined 6186 days ago
459 posts - 477 votes 
Speaks: English*
Studies: Korean
Personal Language Map

 
 Message 15 of 17
08 May 2010 at 12:09pm | IP Logged 
There's only one part of my male body that has not been handled by my Korean friends. I'll leave it to you to figure out which one.

I went to Korea with an open mind and it's a good thing because my friend's hands were on my butt as he "helped" me go up the stairs only days after I met him. Most Americans would be shocked and might trip on the steps! I've held hands only with people who are older than me since my American upbringing doesn't let me initiate the hand holding. Thumb-twiddling is an occasional sight. I've even seen my friends stroke each others cheeks. And likewise, girls touch just as much, but not in the same ways. Not the men anyway.

But it's just culture. You'll get less of it from those who study abroad and more of it as you learn Korean.

The only time I get uncomfortable with it is when I'm in America. Luckily I'm in Hawaii where most people are either culturally aware or open to gay couples. Either way, I won't experience discrimination. :P
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Enki
Tetraglot
Senior Member
Canada
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54 posts - 133 votes 
Speaks: Arabic (Written), English*, French, Korean
Studies: Japanese

 
 Message 16 of 17
08 May 2010 at 7:02pm | IP Logged 
remix wrote:

I googled and I found this:

"Koreans consider it a personal violation to be touched by someone who is not a relative or close friend. Avoid touching, patting or back slapping a Korean"

In light of my experience I strongly disagree with this statement, unless I am being repeatedly violated without knowing any better haha...



I've been living in Korea for three years. Most of those cultural guide books are....inaccurate, to be nice about it. Or take those stereotypical "Asian Business" books from the 80s and replace the word "Japan" with "Korea". 10 minutes in Korea will show that sentence about hating to be touched to be very very wrong.


Honestly? Tell me what other well-traveled people here think, but I think "touching" cultures seem to be the norm, with Western (and even then, not all of them!) societies being the exception.

Edited by Enki on 08 May 2010 at 8:35pm


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