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Helping a spouse learn English | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Learning Techniques, Methods & Strategies |  | |
| Lindley Bilingual Triglot Senior Member Ukraine Joined 6074 days ago 104 posts - 109 votes  Speaks: Russian*, Ukrainian*, English Studies: Spanish, Japanese | Message 1 of 8 03 December 2014 at 12:36pm | IP Logged |
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I'm quite proficient in English - worked as an interpreter, lived abroad, etc. English
is my default language - thinking, googling, reading etc. My boyfriend doesn't know English at all, but would like to learn it (without much enthusiasm, though). More like "it'd be nice to know it, but I dislike learning it". The question is: how can I help him on a day to day basis? His native language is Russian. Who had the similar experience of teaching one's native language to a spouse or relative? 1 person has voted this message useful | |
 emk Diglot Moderator United States Joined 5535 days ago 2615 posts - 8806 votes Speaks: English*, FrenchB2 Studies: Spanish, Ancient Egyptian Personal Language Map | Message 2 of 8 03 December 2014 at 1:04pm | IP Logged |
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Based on my own experiences learning French, you probably can't help him much in the beginning. Even if you find him a fun, easy way to learn English, he'll still need to spend time on it every day or so for a long time before he reaches a decent intermediate level. And trying to tutor a spouse can easily end in massive frustration, especially at the beginner level.
Here are some things you could try: 1. Help him pick out courses and techniques that are relatively fun and painless, which suit his personality, and which work consistently. Does Assimil have an English course for Russian speakers? 2. If and when your husband can more-or-less follow the plot of a TV show, find some really addictive US television series, and watch them in English with him. Answer any occasional questions if he's confused. 3. Introduce him to other English speakers. 4. (This works best for English.) Point him to towards things that he'd really love (games, communities, forums, sites, hobbies) but which are only available in English. But if he's just not motivated to learn English, it's unlikely he'd ever stick through such a long and occasionally frustrating project. Seriously, I spend my time trying to find fun and easy ways to learn a language, but I still need to actually sit down and do it on a regular basis. 5 persons have voted this message useful | |
| eyðimörk Triglot Senior Member France goo.gl/aT4FY7 Joined 4102 days ago 490 posts - 1158 votes Speaks: Swedish*, English, French Studies: Breton, Italian | Message 3 of 8 03 December 2014 at 1:09pm | IP Logged |
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Before you even get started, the most important thing would probably be to get him excited about it. Show him how easy and fun learning would be, and all the good would come of it from his perspective.
Teaching someone something, or helping someone to achieve something, when their attitude it one of "wishing" (I wish this would magically happen without work) rather than "wanting" (I want to do this so now I will make it happen) is like pulling teeth. It can easily become a dark cloud over your relationship, and resentment grows quickly in that kind of shade. 3 persons have voted this message useful | |
| mminer4 Newbie China Joined 4221 days ago 3 posts - 4 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Latin, German, Mandarin | Message 4 of 8 03 December 2014 at 2:58pm | IP Logged |
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I definitely agree with the two above. If your boyfriend doesn't have a really strong
commitment to work at it on a regular basis, then it's going to be frustrating for both of you if you try to push him along. The push has to come from him. I second emk's suggestions that you help him find programs or materials, etc. You'd be in a better position to find something, seeing as how you can handle the language. Find something that you think he might be able to translate an interest into： TV shows, movies, video games, comic books, really anything. My wife is Chinese and studied English in school for probably 16 years as a school subject, which means a lot of time for not a lot of results. She talks about wanting to improve her English, but I don't see her attacking it consistently. It's work, that's for sure. I try to help here and there, but I've learned that it's something she needs to do from her own desire, otherwise it just makes a lot of stress for both of us. You can easily become teacher and impetuous student very quickly if the other isn't leading the charge, so to speak. Best of luck to the both of you! 2 persons have voted this message useful | |
| Lindley Bilingual Triglot Senior Member Ukraine Joined 6074 days ago 104 posts - 109 votes Speaks: Russian*, Ukrainian*, English Studies: Spanish, Japanese | Message 5 of 8 04 December 2014 at 10:16am | IP Logged |
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Thank you all for the advice. You're right, it's difficult for me to see how he
doesn't think of learning a language in terms of pleasure )) I'll follow your recommendations and look for something easy and engaging for him. Thanks again! 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| beano Diglot Senior Member United KingdomRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 4625 days ago 1049 posts - 2152 votes Speaks: English*, German Studies: Russian, Serbian, Hungarian | Message 6 of 8 10 December 2014 at 4:06pm | IP Logged |
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All good advice but at the end of the day, you can't learn a language without a healthy dose of need and / or desire.
You can lead a horse to water.......... 2 persons have voted this message useful | |
| patrickwilken Senior Member Germany radiant-flux.net Joined 4536 days ago 1546 posts - 3200 votes Studies: German | Message 7 of 8 10 December 2014 at 4:34pm | IP Logged |
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As other's have said, if he doesn't see the need to learn, he's not going to learn.
The basic problem is that he needs to get to some sort of basic intermediate level before you can speak to him. I needed to learn German for a couple of years, before my wife and I switched from English to German. I know some people make this switch a lot earlier, but for us it was just too difficult to communicate about day to day things when my level was <B2. And even if you wanted to start talking at B1, he still needs to get to B1 on his own. Edited by patrickwilken on 10 December 2014 at 4:40pm 2 persons have voted this message useful | |
| beano Diglot Senior Member United KingdomRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 4625 days ago 1049 posts - 2152 votes Speaks: English*, German Studies: Russian, Serbian, Hungarian | Message 8 of 8 10 December 2014 at 11:52pm | IP Logged |
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And if you are both native Russian speakers, it's going to feel unnatural talking in another language,
especially when English isn't spoken in the surrounding society or company. Maybe going to an English conversation group would be a good idea. Edited by beano on 10 December 2014 at 11:53pm 3 persons have voted this message useful |
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