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What is rude? | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : General discussion |  | |
| Darya0Khoshki Triglot Groupie United States Joined 5073 days ago 71 posts - 91 votes  Speaks: English*, Arabic (Written), Arabic (Iraqi) Studies: Persian | Message 1 of 12 11 January 2011 at 6:05pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
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When I was in Iraq, I tended to avoid people who spoke English. I know this sounds mean, but every time I met someone who spoke decent English (especially if it was almost as good or as good as my Arabic) panic would set in when I decided what language to speak.
Even though I've worked hard at studying Arabic since my teen years and I'm pretty good, I really struggle with confidence and I feel like the more I speak it the better it is for me to build confidence. I like speaking it, probably for the selfish and prideful reason that I like to feel like I accomplished something (learning another language). However, I always felt I was being rude by not speaking English with people who could speak some English. Obviously they knew a lot fewer native English speakers than I knew native Arabic speakers and they probably appreciated the practice. Also, even if my Arabic was better than their English, and yes, even if their English was very bad, my lack of confidence always made me feel like I was insulting them if I spoke Arabic to them. Like saying I was better than them (which in many cases was true.) So what's polite? I always speak to the person in the language they speak to me first. That to me is polite. But what if I have to initiate the conversation? It was never a problem with strangers because I am olive-complexioned and have pretty good pronunciation; I was never automatically assumed to be an American. I was usually assumed to be an Arab by minority groups for whom Arabic is their lingua franca but not their mother tongue, and sometimes initially even by native speakers as well. I'm talking about my aquaintances, people who know me and know that I'm American. For example, I might go back and work at an English school where all the instruction is in English but the teachers have varying levels of command of the language - many of them are terrible but since they are teaching IN English and an English school they better be able to speak English. Since they know I'm American, they all speak English with me and this makes me feel like they must think my Arabic is bad. I'm shy so I will never initiate speaking Arabic with them but I don't like this because it makes me less confident. What's polite in that situation? 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||
| polyglHot Pentaglot Senior Member Norway Joined 5071 days ago 173 posts - 229 votes Speaks: Norwegian*, English, German, Spanish, Indonesian Studies: Russian | Message 2 of 12 11 January 2011 at 6:27pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
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I don't quite understand your question.
Anyway, what did you do in Iraq? 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||
| Doitsujin Diglot Senior Member Germany Joined 5325 days ago 1256 posts - 2363 votes Speaks: German*, English | Message 3 of 12 11 January 2011 at 7:16pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
IMHO, if somebody spoke English to you, they either: - noticed that you're not a local and spoke English out of politeness - wanted to practice their English with you - preferred English over their native language Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. If someone addresses you in a specific language, they expect an answer in the same language. If you'd rather speak another language just say so politely during the conversation.
They most likely just wanted to practice their English with you. After all you're a native speaker.
It might be tough to convince EFL teachers to speak Arabic with you, but if everyone else tries to speak English with just ask them politely to speak Arabic with you. There are lots of threads about this topic. For example, Getting people not to speak English 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||
| Matheus Senior Member Brazil Joined 5086 days ago 208 posts - 312 votes Speaks: Portuguese* Studies: English, French | Message 4 of 12 11 January 2011 at 7:17pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
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I think you've already answered your question:
"I always speak to the person in the language they speak to me first.". 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||
| Arekkusu Hexaglot Senior Member Canada bit.ly/qc_10_lec Joined 5386 days ago 3971 posts - 7747 votes Speaks: English, French*, GermanC1, Spanish, Japanese, Esperanto Studies: Italian, Norwegian, Mandarin, Romanian, Estonian | Message 5 of 12 11 January 2011 at 8:02pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
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If you bother to go to another country to practice the language, you definitely have the right to cite that as an acceptable reason for wanting to avoid English.
4 persons have voted this message useful | |||||||||
| Naomi Chambers Newbie United States thepolyglotexperienc Joined 5076 days ago 23 posts - 30 votes Speaks: Spanish Studies: FrenchC1, Swedish | Message 6 of 12 11 January 2011 at 10:33pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
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I do not understand the question.
Not wanting to speak to someone is not rude. If they speak to you, then you turn your back and walk away, not THAT is rude. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||
| Préposition Diglot Senior Member France aspectualpairs.wordp Joined 5119 days ago 186 posts - 283 votes Speaks: French*, EnglishC1 Studies: Russian, Arabic (Written), Swedish, Arabic (Levantine) | Message 7 of 12 11 January 2011 at 11:12pm | IP Logged | ||||||||
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If I need to initiate the conversation, I speak in the language of the majority. If my friend talks to me in French when we're with English friends, I'll answer in English, I find it rude to do otherwise. If we're alone, I use the language they start with, occasionally switching if I'm more comfortable in one or the other.
1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||
| Darya0Khoshki Triglot Groupie United States Joined 5073 days ago 71 posts - 91 votes Speaks: English*, Arabic (Written), Arabic (Iraqi) Studies: Persian | Message 8 of 12 12 January 2011 at 12:58am | IP Logged | ||||||||
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The question is, is it rude to initiate conversations in the local language with aquaintances who speak passable English, especially if they're English teachers?
I know the obvious answer is no, and I can see both sides of it. For one thing, I think it would really rude for me to speak Arabic with an Iraqi who came to the USA in a group context where everyone was speaking English. But I can also see that they don't have any opportunities other than me to practice with a native speaker. 1 person has voted this message useful |
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