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Is this rude? If so, what’s a better way? | ||
Tags: Language Banditry | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : General discussion |  | |
| Tyrion101 Senior Member United States Joined 3915 days ago 153 posts - 174 votes  Speaks: French | Message 1 of 12 27 March 2015 at 7:41pm | IP Logged |
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I can understand French pretty well, but I always seem to run into trouble trying to communicate. I've had instances where I was wandering around London last year and would frequently hear French being spoken and listening in for the time, I was on the subway, or just walking by, I've often wondered is this rude? Two french people quit talking all together when they realized I was listening to them talk (That's all I was doing, was listening to the language, more than trying to understand it). If this is rude, what is a more proper way of seeing conversation in action when you are at someplace that happens to have your target language?
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| Lakeseayesno Tetraglot Senior Member Mexico thepolyglotist.com Joined 4336 days ago 280 posts - 488 votes Speaks: English, Spanish*, Japanese, Italian Studies: Esperanto, French | Message 2 of 12 27 March 2015 at 7:58pm | IP Logged |
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Seems you've run into one of the biggest dilemmas for language learners, Tyrion: "is it okay to eavesdrop?"
The short answer is that it isn't, because it IS rude to try and listen to a conversation you haven't been invited to. In any language, people deserve privacy. However, the long answer is that those people couldn't have known you were trying to listen to them talk because you wanted a listening comprehension workout. To them, you were just trying to listen to their private talk. There really is no more proper course of action when one is doing this (and I understand the feeling because my ears turn like radars whenever I hear one of my target languages being spoken in my own city). However, there is always the possibility of trying to explain your motivations for doing so. "I'm sorry, it's just that I'm learning French and your conversation caught my ear" is always a valid explanation. I've done it many times when I hear Japanese being spoken. If you run into nice people, they may even start talking WITH you (although this changes the focus from listening to talking); if they're not or their chat is top secret, they'll go "oh, okay" and find another place to keep talking in private. At least you'll be out in the open about your intentions and can't be blamed for being rude. 6 persons have voted this message useful | |
| aokoye Diglot Senior Member United StatesRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5543 days ago 235 posts - 453 votes Speaks: English*, German Studies: Dutch, Norwegian, Japanese | Message 3 of 12 27 March 2015 at 10:51pm | IP Logged |
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Ask yourself this question. Is it ok for you to eavesdrop in English (which I'm assuming is your native
language)? If the answer is no then no, it's not ok to eavesdrop or listen in on other people's conversations in French (or any other language) even if you are trying to only listen to the language as opposed to understand what they're saying. Additionally it's considered incredibly rude to watch deaf people (or anyone) sign in conversation - or at least it was 10ish years ago when i was taking ASL (my teachers were deaf). 2 persons have voted this message useful | |
| 1e4e6 Octoglot Senior Member United Kingdom Joined 4292 days ago 1013 posts - 1588 votes Speaks: English*, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Norwegian, Dutch, Swedish, Italian Studies: German, Danish, Russian, Catalan | Message 4 of 12 28 March 2015 at 1:55am | IP Logged |
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That is fairly rude if I had to be honest, I doubt that anyone would enjoy being
eavesdropped. But what I do not understand, is how a person who is walking past notice that you are hearing them? If they are walking past, then they should be within your vicinity for only 1 or 2 seconds, so I am not sure what you mean by eavesdropping on passers-by. That in itself seems odd. The only way that I can see that one can eavesdrop on a passer- by and they noticeis to be walking in the same direction as they are side-by-side, in which case, that seems much worse than eavesdropping. About the London Tube, or any underground public transport, the only way that people would notice is if you stare at them with an attentive look and perhaps ears towards the conversation, which would look very intrusive indeed and extremely rude. It would be even worse to hear a conversation, then sit right next to the interlocutors and look at them and listen and pretend that they think that it is fine. If someone eavesdrops on me, which seems to happen much more often in California than in the UK (I cannot recall it ever happening that I noticed in general in the UK), I switch language or stop speaking altogether. Edited by 1e4e6 on 28 March 2015 at 2:08am 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| Tyrion101 Senior Member United States Joined 3915 days ago 153 posts - 174 votes Speaks: French | Message 5 of 12 28 March 2015 at 6:44am | IP Logged |
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Well this certainly explains things. Thanks for the ideas, and yes it just so happened everyone was going the same direction, my ear heard French, and I had never heard it before (outside of study, meaning what I listened to in study time, radio, podcasts, etc) and figured I'd listen to whatever I could while they were going the same way as us, and honestly I couldn't understand much of it, as at that point I was still working out just how to listen to French, which is much more different than written French. I wasn't intending to be rude. If I could have I would have said sorry, I never heard anyone actually speak French before. As I said, my big problem is in communication, even in English, and I have little to no confidence so instead of asking people, the only thing I could figure out to do was to listen. I hope this makes sense.
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| rdearman Senior Member United Kingdom rdearman.orgRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5238 days ago 881 posts - 1812 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Italian, French, Mandarin | Message 6 of 12 28 March 2015 at 11:26am | IP Logged |
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It makes sense, but you probably could have told them you were learning in English if your French wasn't up to it. If they were in London they probably would understand. In fact there are more French people in London than Bordeaux, Nantes or Strasbourg.
London, Frances 6th largest city? 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| cpnlsn88 Triglot Groupie United Kingdom Joined 5039 days ago 63 posts - 112 votes Speaks: English*, German, French Studies: Spanish, Esperanto, Latin | Message 7 of 12 28 March 2015 at 11:33am | IP Logged |
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I think it's OK to be aware of one's surroundings and if in target language or for
other reasons you may find what they are saying is interesting. So I don't think it rude per se. If it is obvious you are tuning in then they may become uncomfortable so being discrete and respectful is important. I think there is a difference between someone being in earshot and zoning in and out to treating their conversation as listening practice! I think if you are hearing something improper or indiscreet you should zone out, let them know you understand them or move away, in order to be totally fair. And if you get caught listening just apologise, say you're learning the language and enjoy hearing the language spoken by native speakers. In a country where the language is spoken there is the assumption that everyone will understand them so they will use hushed tones/whisper if not wanting to be understood. If a foreign person is speaking their own language abroad they may wrongly assume no- one understands them in their native language. If one wishes to eavesdrop I think a good place to do so is a bar, cafe or eatery where people are coming and going all the time and you pick up the odd phrase here and there from people rather than whole conversations. 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| lichtrausch Triglot Senior Member United States Joined 5962 days ago 525 posts - 1072 votes Speaks: English*, German, Japanese Studies: Korean, Mandarin | Message 8 of 12 28 March 2015 at 3:12pm | IP Logged |
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If you are taking actions that betray to the people in conversation that you are
eavesdropping, then you have gone too far. But as far as just discretely listening to some conversation taking place around you, I think that is acceptable and sometimes even hard to avoid. 3 persons have voted this message useful |
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