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Causing Offence in Spanish - Tu & Usted

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16 messages over 2 pages: 1 2  Next >>
Ashiro
Groupie
United Kingdom
learnxlanguage.com/
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89 posts - 101 votes 
Studies: Spanish

 
 Message 1 of 16
02 May 2009 at 7:38pm | IP Logged 
Something I'm becoming more concerned about as I learn Spanish is the chances of me causing offence by using incorrect verb endings or using tu/usted improperly.

Has anyone any experience of doing this and if so how likely is it to cause offence to a native Spanish speaker? Or are they often very forgiving towards foreigners?
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scootermclean
Diglot
Groupie
United States
scottmclean.net
Joined 6480 days ago

69 posts - 70 votes 
Speaks: English*, Spanish
Studies: Arabic (Written), Basque

 
 Message 2 of 16
02 May 2009 at 10:31pm | IP Logged 
Obviously strive to use whichever form where appropriate.. But in general I wouldn't
worry about it too much. I have never caused offense to anyone when I
forget/am thinking to fast to realize, and often have had people tell me to just
address them with the tu form

Edited by scootermclean on 02 May 2009 at 10:35pm

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thephilologist
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United States
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Speaks: English*, Spanish, German, French
Studies: Portuguese

 
 Message 3 of 16
03 May 2009 at 5:23am | IP Logged 
Don't worry about it. First off, Spanish-speakers tend to be quite easy-going among themselves in this respect,
and they will certainly give even more slack to a foreigner speaking there language. Secondly, when this would
happen to me, my friends would usually just laugh "A quien dices tu?" You get the hang of it with exposure.
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TheBiscuit
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Senior Member
Mexico
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Speaks: English*, French, Spanish, Italian
Studies: German, Croatian

 
 Message 4 of 16
03 May 2009 at 5:23am | IP Logged 
I can't stress this enough: Learn to use usted before you go anywhere near the tu form - get the endings down, get used to using one (uno) to avoid making generalisations with tu. I have been in too many cringe-worthy situations here in Mexico with foreigners using the tu form where they shouldn't and causing offence or mixing them (bizarre) - we even have the fame here of being 'tuteros'. If in doubt use usted to initiate a conversation unless you're talking to kids or animals. Mexicans will generally then invite you to use the tu form, just don't initiate it. They are fairly forgiving though, and generally expect foreigners to go straight into the tu form. Learning to use the two registers properly will gain you respect though, and you won't be thought another 'igualado' foreigner.
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irrationale
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China
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2 sounds
Speaks: English*, Spanish, Mandarin, Tagalog
Studies: Ancient Greek, Japanese

 
 Message 5 of 16
03 May 2009 at 5:42am | IP Logged 
I have often wondered about this, as it is akward to bring up, and there is no polite form in English.

Is tu usage vaguely similar to a "first-name basis" in English? This is how I use tu; so that leaves out strangers, aquaintences, elders, people in respected positions, etc. Is this about right?
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TheBiscuit
Tetraglot
Senior Member
Mexico
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532 posts - 619 votes 
Speaks: English*, French, Spanish, Italian
Studies: German, Croatian

 
 Message 6 of 16
03 May 2009 at 6:38am | IP Logged 
irrationale wrote:
Is tu usage vaguely similar to a "first-name basis" in English? This is how I use tu; so that leaves out strangers, aquaintences, elders, people in respected positions, etc. Is this about right?

Yes although it does depend on the country (in Columbia for example usted is used a whole lot more) but speaking for Mexico you're ok with the tu form with people your own age in social situations. Teachers and doctors are addressed using usted as are most people with official type jobs/respected positions. Usted is used a lot more here in the countryside where kids will often use it with their parents to show respect and even with each other. I find myself using it a whole lot more when I go out to the countryside, more than tu and people will switch between them. Use usted with elders, especially if that person is referred to as don/doña by others.

If you're male, be aware of initiating it with females as this can be seen as being a bit forward. You'll eventually get a feel for it and if you're not sure use usted - you won't offend.


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sprachefin
Triglot
Senior Member
Germany
Joined 5748 days ago

300 posts - 317 votes 
Speaks: German*, English, Spanish
Studies: French, Turkish, Mandarin, Bulgarian, Persian, Dutch

 
 Message 7 of 16
03 May 2009 at 7:38am | IP Logged 
It was quite different for me in Spain. I usually hung out with people my age and we made quick friends, so their
was no real reason to use Ustedes or Usted. I did use it when the time felt right though, and you will know when
that times comes. Being native in a language where that applies, I have a pretty good judgement with that respect,
but I guess you can too. Ask yourself: would I use slang or mild swears with this person, or would I want to make a
formal impression? It isn't really that good of a tool to use, but just think with the situation, and you will be fine.
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Dark_Sunshine
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Senior Member
United Kingdom
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340 posts - 357 votes 
Speaks: English*, French

 
 Message 8 of 16
03 May 2009 at 12:56pm | IP Logged 
It always makes me laugh when books advise that you use 'tu' to address animals. Heaven forbid I accidentally offend my new friend by being inappropriately formal with his dog... :-)


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