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How to make conversations happen | ||
Tags: Conversation | Travel | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Cultural Experiences in Foreign Languages |  | |
| jasoninchina Senior Member China Joined 5040 days ago 221 posts - 306 votes  Speaks: English* Studies: Mandarin, Italian | Message 17 of 26 01 November 2010 at 8:16pm | IP Logged | ||
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The "coffee shop scenario" can be quite nice. A friend of mine from Jordan often invites me to a local coffee shop where we tend to interact with the waitresses and other patrons. We really appreaciate the practice but often get snickered at by waitresses, in almost a belittling sort of way. At this point in my life, I have grown thick skin and just have fun with it but my friend tends to take offense to this. I'm not quite sure what my point is with relaying this story(I'm all jacked up on caffeine right now) except to say that it can really be a mixed bag.
Another interesting phenomena I've taken note of is what I like to call the "what the f did he just say" reaction from natives. This can take two forms. First, is the obvious. A foreigner says something incomprehensible to a native and receives a blank stare. However, the second form is one that I have only encountered in places with few foreigners. Here, the foreigner says something near-perfectly yet the native, assuming you cannot speak the language, turns to the other native mid-sentence and says "what the f did he just say?" To which I respond, "I said, ...." This time, the native actually listens to what you said. The chinese have a saying: 哭笑不得 ku xiao bu de. This describes those times you are so annoyed but can't help but laugh at the situation. Long story short, spending time in a coffee shop can be quite an experience :-) 3 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| Old Chemist Senior Member United Kingdom Joined 4982 days ago 227 posts - 285 votes Speaks: English* Studies: German | Message 18 of 26 07 November 2010 at 11:54am | IP Logged | ||
Very interesting ,love the : 哭笑不得 ku xiao bu de,I have often found myself in this position. For people who don't know me I seemed to be the but of slightly rude remarks and jokes, both in English and in foreign languages. At the time I very much identified with Robert Graves' representation of the Emperor Claudius (I Claudius,Claudius the God), but looking back I can see why my behaviour would have been seen funny and laugh at myself as was. I respect your approach and think it is an excellent way of learning any language. Who cares if you make a waitress laugh or a few people ask themselves what you have said. Good for you! Over the years I have learnt to like the philosophy of not bothering if you appear foolish asking a question or doing something to learn a new thing - people who don't may remain fools for ever. I don't know whether it is a habit of the Chinese generally, but I once read a book by a man who had tried to learn Cantonese and he said when he came out with something correct he would be met with "What did the foreigner say? I thought he said "How are you?" what do you think?" sort of responses. Perhaps this incredulity is due to the comparitive rarity of foreigners who manage to gain a relatively good command of Chinese. 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| weshdim Senior Member Australia Joined 5008 days ago 19 posts - 31 votes Studies: Mandarin, Arabic (Levantine) | Message 19 of 26 08 November 2010 at 2:58am | IP Logged | ||
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You can’t go wrong with a long train journey in a basic class carriage.
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| hablaconella Newbie United Kingdom Joined 4939 days ago 4 posts - 4 votes Speaks: English* | Message 20 of 26 08 November 2010 at 1:38pm | IP Logged | ||
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I remember taking a night train in Thailand and when the lady came to bring us our dinner (this is standard in Thailand even in lower class carriages) we said thank you in Thai. She immediately thought we all spoke fluent thai and sat down with us to play cards. it was hilarious!
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| weshdim Senior Member Australia Joined 5008 days ago 19 posts - 31 votes Studies: Mandarin, Arabic (Levantine) | Message 21 of 26 08 November 2010 at 11:54pm | IP Logged | ||
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I travelled extensively by train throughout Romania. In the beginning I knew absoluely no Romanian and tried to use the Latin I could identify in English as well as some Spanish words from old cowboy movies.
After 3 weeks of train travel, I had a good command of basic Romanian. People were very curious about me and were eager to talk and share a meal. Many coached me, giving the names of objects as the train passed houses, roads, farms etc. I plan to do this again in China next year. 3 persons have voted this message useful | |||
 Iversen Super Polyglot Moderator Denmark berejst.dk Joined 6512 days ago 9078 posts - 16473 votes Speaks: Danish*, French, English, German, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Dutch, Swedish, Esperanto, Romanian, Catalan Studies: Afrikaans, Greek, Norwegian, Russian, Serbian, Icelandic, Latin, Irish, Lowland Scots, Indonesian, Polish, Croatian Personal Language Map | Message 22 of 26 10 November 2010 at 4:35pm | IP Logged | ||
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Trains are excellent, and busses are also fine because your fellow passengers can't just run away, and often they are somewhat bored and easy to lure into a conversation. Airtravel can be fine if you can hear anything and your neighbour isn't a tourist too. But I have also had a number of discussions in museums and zoos, some long, some short. In such a place there is usually something to talk about because you are looking at something concrete and interesting. However I don't match my sister in this respect. Every time my mother and I have been in a museum with her we constantly have to wait for her because she either reads all the texts or - more likely - is involved in a long discussion with the custodians. I have also had many fine discussions with custodians, but mostly when there aren't other guests around - in that case I assume they have to do their job. But not when my sister is around, then their job seems to be to talk to her.
I don't like pubs, and if I can find a decent restaurant without music I just order something, eat it, pay the bill and leave. I stay away from pubs and cafés, so that robs me of some conversation possibilities (but saves me a lot of money). In some cases I have inadvertent used the 'be odd' stratagem. For instance I have found out that sitting down to make a drawing of something automatically draws in a crowd. Sitting down on a bench in a park in lusophone Maputo in Moçambique with a Greek dictionary had the same effect (methinks something with the letters). But I'm actually not too keen on attracting a whole crowd, because you learn more when you can concentrate on communication with one person. But time without conversation is not lost time. For instance I mostly abstained from speaking Icelandic during my last visit there because I didn't feel secure enough in that language. But just reading stuff in a foreign language and listening to people speaking (and TV) it makes it much easier to keep thinking in that language, even if it is in a flawed version of it. And the same thing occurred in Greece last year. It took me four days to get to the stage where I was ready to take a discussion in Greek. So don't dispair if you don't discuss for hours on end with people around you. Just keeping a constant inner monologue in your target language can be immense fruitful. Edited by Iversen on 11 November 2010 at 10:14am 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| Arekkusu Hexaglot Senior Member Canada bit.ly/qc_10_lec Joined 5190 days ago 3971 posts - 7747 votes Speaks: English, French*, GermanC1, Spanish, Japanese, Esperanto Studies: Italian, Norwegian, Mandarin, Romanian, Estonian | Message 23 of 26 10 November 2010 at 8:18pm | IP Logged | ||
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One-on-one conversations with strangers can be difficult, especially if their goal is to practice English. However, this dynamic changes when you are in a group.
If you are going to approach people in a coffee shop, find 2 or 3 people together, not just one. If you are going to meet a friend you know, ask them to bring another or many friends along. Not only will you meet more people, but this usually keeps the conversation going, in the language, and you get exposed to a fair bit of natural language between natives. 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| irishpolyglot Nonaglot Senior Member Ireland fluentin3months Joined 5442 days ago 285 posts - 892 votes Speaks: Irish, English*, French, Esperanto, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German, Sign Language Studies: Mandarin | Message 24 of 26 11 November 2010 at 3:58am | IP Logged | ||
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Someone mentioned above that I like to use random accessories to encourage people to talk to me. It's extremely effective. Even having a silly t-shirt does the trick.
Otherwise I feel just that gaining the confidence to be able to walk up to a stranger yourself will expose you to the most possible opportunities. I recommend you read this short post about "social skydiving": http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art -of-talking-to-strangers/ I agree with Maku that focusing on your confidence to approach strangers (forgetting about the language or culture issue) will increase your opportunities to converse. I do this just as quickly with individuals and groups, but actually avoid only pretty girls that are alone for a cold-turkey hello because she'll presume I have ulterior motives. For organised groups, see if meetup.com works in that city, or if there is a Chinese equivalent. Also search social networks for things going on. I forget which sites are blocked by the great firewall, but so many of them have meet up options. I use Facebook to search for my current city name and look at events and groups and always find something. Couchsurfing is also excellent, although I have a feeling both of these might be blocked in China. 1 person has voted this message useful |
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