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Long-haired dictionary technique | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Learning Techniques, Methods & Strategies |  | |
| PinkCordelia Diglot Newbie Wales Joined 4592 days ago 31 posts - 77 votes  Speaks: English*, French Studies: Italian, Welsh | Message 9 of 18 22 October 2011 at 8:04pm | IP Logged | |||||
I once found most of these qualities in an Italian male and our relationship, though a mere 3 months, improved my Italian no end. We spent about 80 hours a week together. He was only 3 years old and his mother was paying me to look after him. The only rule he broke was sometimes getting quite stern when correcting me. And he probably didn't understand my language goals as such ... But I'm not being entirely flippant. We spoke to communicate and we had fun - that's what was most important and therefore the language flowed. But the language was never the most important thing. And I guess that's how it needs to be in a romantic relationship. 12 persons have voted this message useful | ||||||
| William Camden Hexaglot Senior Member United Kingdom Joined 6053 days ago 1936 posts - 2333 votes Speaks: English*, German, Spanish, Russian, Turkish, French | Message 10 of 18 26 October 2011 at 1:55pm | IP Logged | |||||
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Some time ago I posted about British officers in India who learned local languages from their concubines. The only problem with this was that they learned feminine verb forms this way, so they would scandalise their soldiers by shouting orders at them using forms of address an Indian woman, not a man would use.
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| pfn123 Senior Member Australia Joined 4864 days ago 171 posts - 291 votes Speaks: English* | Message 11 of 18 27 October 2011 at 1:09pm | IP Logged | |||||
So, really more a 'long-haired phrasebook'. lol 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||
| Lucky Charms Diglot Senior Member Japan lapacifica.net Joined 6730 days ago 752 posts - 1711 votes Speaks: English*, Japanese Studies: German, Spanish | Message 12 of 18 02 February 2012 at 2:38pm | IP Logged | |||||
This is a rather famous problem among straight male Japanese learners. There are so many guys who come to Japan for the girls, which is fine, but a significant subset of this group tends to look down on Asian men and is not interested in making friends with them. The irony is that because they limit most of their contact with the locals to women (the vast majority of Japanese language teachers are also women), they end up sounding like the Japanese stereotype of a gay man, which is especially hilarious when combined with the macho casanova act that some of these guys put on :) The moral: If you're straight and the language you're learning makes strong gender distinctions, have your significant other introduce you to some of his/her friends of the same sex as you. Make sure you offset your time with your partner with plenty of TV and same-sex interaction. 2 persons have voted this message useful | ||||||
| Arekkusu Hexaglot Senior Member Canada bit.ly/qc_10_lec Joined 5162 days ago 3971 posts - 7747 votes Speaks: English, French*, GermanC1, Spanish, Japanese, Esperanto Studies: Italian, Norwegian, Mandarin, Romanian, Estonian | Message 13 of 18 02 February 2012 at 3:20pm | IP Logged | |||||
I had a discussion this weekend with a few Canadian guys who lived in Japan and some Japanese girls and the consensus was actually that it's harder for guys to make friends with Japanese guys as they tend to be intimidated by Western guys. I didn't live in Japan, so I can't corroborate their claims. We also concluded this was not the case with older guys who may be married already. I too have very few Japanese male friends -- but I think this is simply because there are fewer coming to my city as most of the university exchange agreements are with women-only universities. 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||
| Lucky Charms Diglot Senior Member Japan lapacifica.net Joined 6730 days ago 752 posts - 1711 votes Speaks: English*, Japanese Studies: German, Spanish | Message 14 of 18 02 February 2012 at 6:33pm | IP Logged | |||||
Thanks for your insight. I never realized that might be the case for some people. I'm sure that most foreigners learning the language try to make local friends, and I didn't mean to make it sound like every guy who comes here is sleazy. 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||
| leosmith Senior Member United States Joined 6331 days ago 2365 posts - 3804 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Tagalog | Message 15 of 18 02 February 2012 at 6:58pm | IP Logged | |||||
This true in Japan and Thailand. And a complicating factor in Japan - we are in higher demand from the ladies there. When I place an ad for language partners, I get about 10 to 1 women over men, for example. In Thailand I get about equal demand from women and gay men. China is different though. Demand is about equal. But I get more interest there overall too, so I can be picky. Frankly, I think this whole fear of talking like the opposite sex is exaggerated. Sure, there are differences, but they become so obvious with exposure that talking like the other gender is temporary. 2 persons have voted this message useful | ||||||
| Arekkusu Hexaglot Senior Member Canada bit.ly/qc_10_lec Joined 5162 days ago 3971 posts - 7747 votes Speaks: English, French*, GermanC1, Spanish, Japanese, Esperanto Studies: Italian, Norwegian, Mandarin, Romanian, Estonian | Message 16 of 18 02 February 2012 at 8:20pm | IP Logged | |||||
I agree. Initially, I would be told that this or that sounded feminine, but despite having few male friends, no one ever mentions it anymore. Sometimes I ask whether I say anything that sounds feminine and there never seems to be any issues. I also think women talk less femininely when talking to men, especially if you know eachother well. 1 person has voted this message useful |
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