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Heaven and Hell | ||
Tags: Stereotypes | Joke | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Cultural Experiences in Foreign Languages |  | |
| psy88 Senior Member United States Joined 5402 days ago 469 posts - 882 votes  Studies: Spanish*, Japanese, Latin, French | Message 1 of 11 11 January 2012 at 3:15am | IP Logged | ||
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I came across and offer it here without any editorial comment. In Heaven: the French are the chefs; the Italians are the lovers; the British are the police; the Germans are the mechanics; and, the Swiss make everything run on time. In Hell: the British are the chefs; the Swiss are the lovers; the French are the mechanics; the Italians make everything run on time; and, the Germans are the police.
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| Cainntear Pentaglot Senior Member Scotland linguafrankly.blogsp Joined 5822 days ago 4399 posts - 7687 votes Speaks: Lowland Scots, English*, French, Spanish, Scottish Gaelic Studies: Catalan, Italian, German, Irish, Welsh | Message 2 of 11 11 January 2012 at 11:28am | IP Logged | ||
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You might want to change who does the policing -- after Jean Charles de Menezes and the kettling and bludgeoning to death of bystanders during demonstrations, not to mention the continued disproportionate stop-and-search of black* youths, we can't really claim to have a good police force.
* Sorry to any Americans who find this offensive, but in the UK this is the neutral term. There's no equivalent to your term "African-American", and a football commentator recently got in trouble for using the word "coloured", which would be too general for this instance anyway. 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| NickJS Senior Member United Kingdom flickr.com/photos/sg Joined 4770 days ago 264 posts - 334 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Russian, Portuguese, Mandarin, Cantonese | Message 3 of 11 11 January 2012 at 2:47pm | IP Logged | ||
Not to mention how many are losing their jobs here recently...I don't think there will be a police for for that long! Edited by NickJS on 11 January 2012 at 2:48pm 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| iguanamon Pentaglot Senior Member Virgin Islands Speaks: Ladino Joined 5073 days ago 2237 posts - 6731 votes Speaks: English*, Spanish, Portuguese, Haitian Creole, Creole (French) | Message 4 of 11 11 January 2012 at 3:46pm | IP Logged | ||
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Perhaps this old joke is in need of updating. Times change. Ironically enough, I have had some of the best meals of my life in England. Obviously, I'm not talking about "bangers and mash", "mushy peas" or "meat and three veg". The UK has some really good restaurants and very talented chefs. I really miss my nights out in some of the really good restaurants of Leeds, Cardiff, Liverpool and London.
About the British police, yeah, anyone can see that there is room for improvement in the area of policing after the recent riots. Some say that the recent riots may even have been sparked by poor policing. I once knew a Swiss woman from Geneva and she was amazing! If the lovers in Hades are Swiss, and the chefs are British- it might not be so bad. So give me a beautiful Swiss woman (maybe Julie Ordon!). Give me Gordon Ramsey or Jamie Oliver as my chef and I'll make do with my French mechanic and, after living in the Caribbean, an Italian timekeeper wouldn't be bothersome at all. German police would be ok now that we're post war and post Stazi. Times have changed. Edited by iguanamon on 11 January 2012 at 3:50pm 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| mrwarper Diglot Winner TAC 2012 Senior Member Spain forum_posts.asp?TID=Registered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5037 days ago 1493 posts - 2500 votes Speaks: Spanish*, EnglishC2 Studies: German, Russian, Japanese | Message 5 of 11 11 January 2012 at 3:51pm | IP Logged | ||
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Ironically, I don't think people who get so upset about supposedly derogatory terms would call n-th generation Caucasian Americans of South-African descent 'African-Americans', and they would probably get angry if somebody else does, even if it is an absolutely appropriate designation in their own terms.
Just what's the matter with saying what you mean? I wouldn't be offended if I were somewhere in Africa and I were referred to as 'the white guy' as a quick way to single me out in a group. And if someone wanted to offend me, well, I think it's me who should be upset in the first place, not some self-appointed PC guardian. The world is full of fools, and paying them too much attention takes all the fun out of it. Anyway... A German trucker and his Spanish friend spend so much time together moving back and forth between their countries that when they get killed together while driving drunk they are offered to choose between German or Spanish Hell. In German Hell it's Oktoberfest everyday, but you have to take a spoonful of 'human stools' every hour; Spanish Hell has its good share of partying, too, and HSs come only once a week, but it's a shovelful you have to take. The Spaniard quickly says 'Spanish Hell', but his German best buddy thinks spoonfuls are bad enough, and they split. Three weeks later they speak over the phone and the German comments 'yeah, this everlasting Oktoberfest would be great, but the hourly spoonful really makes it suck, I can't imagine what it must be like for you there' and the Spaniard replies 'what are you talking about? I'm partying all the time and I haven't even tasted that yet.' 'How so?' 'Well, the day I came they had run out of it, then last week the guy in charge had gone missing, today they can't find the shovel...' 4 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| iguanamon Pentaglot Senior Member Virgin Islands Speaks: Ladino Joined 5073 days ago 2237 posts - 6731 votes Speaks: English*, Spanish, Portuguese, Haitian Creole, Creole (French) | Message 6 of 11 11 January 2012 at 4:25pm | IP Logged | ||
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After reading @Mr Warper's Spanish version, I thought you might be interested in seeing the Virgin Islands version. I've heard it many times and it gets e-mailed to me about once a year:
"Virgin Islands Hell A man dies and goes to hell. When he gets there he finds that there's a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He's told that "First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they're all pretty much the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Virgin Islands hell and he discovers that there is quite a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?" He's told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Virgin Islands devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "Hey, but that's exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so many people waiting to get in?" he asked. "The electric chair doesn't work because there's never any electricity. Someone 'thief' all the nails so there's none to lay you on. The devil used to work for the government so he comes in, signs the attendance sheet and then he goes back home for the rest of the day." Edited by iguanamon on 11 January 2012 at 4:29pm 4 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| LebensForm Senior Member Austria Joined 4861 days ago 212 posts - 264 votes Studies: German | Message 7 of 11 11 January 2012 at 4:54pm | IP Logged | ||
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I have heard that joke before, but I think the Germans were the lovers, in hell. Honestly, I'm German and I don't think I'm too bad...
2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| Solfrid Cristin Heptaglot Winner TAC 2011 & 2012 Senior Member Norway Joined 5145 days ago 4143 posts - 8864 votes Speaks: Norwegian*, Spanish, Swedish, French, English, German, Italian Studies: Russian | Message 8 of 11 11 January 2012 at 5:35pm | IP Logged | ||
I think there are a lot of myths in this area, and that this particular competence would depend a lot more on the indivdual than on the nationality :-) 1 person has voted this message useful |
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