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Would you find it disrespectful? | ||
Tags: Relationship | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Cultural Experiences in Foreign Languages |  | |
| prz_ Tetraglot Senior Member Poland last.fm/user/prz_rul Joined 4640 days ago 890 posts - 1190 votes  Speaks: Polish*, English, Bulgarian, Croatian Studies: Slovenian, Macedonian, Persian, Russian, Turkish, Ukrainian, Dutch, Swedish, German, Italian, Armenian, Kurdish | Message 49 of 61 17 July 2012 at 7:34pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||
Well... An example of the stereotypical Italian, unfortunately. @druckfehler - you know, it's all about the will. If you have it, then almost nothing is impossible. Of course you can struggle with something, but the most important is showing your interest. Okay, maybe my opinion was a bit radical, however, I find it really unfair and I can't imagine to be like that while having a girlfriend from another country. It's really like I don't care about her roots, her history, all of the things connected with this part of her - it's like ignoring 50% of her soul.
Well, he who lives by the sword shall die by the sword. Irony accepted.
Of course, that's true. I'm also not very into marriages. Still, if I treat a girl seriously, then I want to know her as good as I can in all aspects. 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| PillowRock Groupie United States Joined 4515 days ago 87 posts - 151 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Spanish | Message 50 of 61 17 July 2012 at 9:52pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||
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My take on the original question is:
It depends on the details of the situation. The phrase "in a relationship" can mean anything from "we've been dating for a few weeks" to "we're raising a family together". When you're talking about something as time and labor intensive as learning a new language from scratch, there's obviously a world of difference within that range. Even if you limit the discussion to "committed, long term relationships", there's still a range of possible circumstances surrounding "native language". Are we talking about someone whose family immigrated when they were a child? Someone whose proficiency at their own "native language" never got too much beyond where it was when they were 10 years old (and may have even deteriorated some due to lack of use), and who never has any contact with any extended family in their birth country? That's an entirely different case than someone decided to study or work abroad as an adult, is in nearly constant contact with family and friends back "home", and are still most at ease in their native language. That said: Even in the childhood immigrant case, there is little that demonstrates that you are serious about a person / relationship as concretely as working on learning a language entirely because it is their native language. 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| kanewai Triglot Senior Member United States justpaste.it/kanewai Joined 4670 days ago 1386 posts - 3054 votes Speaks: English*, French, Marshallese Studies: Italian, Spanish | Message 51 of 61 17 July 2012 at 11:24pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||
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I've had partners who didn't speak English when I lived overseas, and I never took it to
mean that they didn't care about 50% of my soul. I certainly like to learn languages, and to understand other cultures, but that's my thing. With that, I think it would be difficult to date a non-English speaker in the States, but for a thousand practical reasons. It wouldn't be a question of personal respect at all. 5 persons have voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| Bao Diglot Senior Member Germany tinyurl.com/pe4kqe5 Joined 5547 days ago 2256 posts - 4046 votes Speaks: German*, English Studies: French, Spanish, Japanese, Mandarin | Message 52 of 61 18 July 2012 at 12:15am | IP Logged | |||||||||||
Haha, touché. But I didn't actually mean it the way that most people think they're above average at a positive skill and below the average for a negative trait, and in which they think they are more complex and special than other people. At least in Western cultures. What I meant was that even though I grew up in Germany, I was not very engaged in local/family tradition (including religion), nor in popular culture, so I lack the emotional bond to our 'Heimat' that many people seem to have despity it being so kitschy.
No, not necessarily. But I found that many people show some streaks of that behaviour in such a situation. It's not necessarily bad, but somehow I would wish a serious relationship to be based on attempts to bridge such gaps, not just accepting that they are there for good. There's enough left you will never understand of the other person even when attempting to understand the, after all. 2 persons have voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| LebensForm Senior Member Austria Joined 4831 days ago 212 posts - 264 votes Studies: German | Message 53 of 61 18 July 2012 at 5:30pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||
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I've been learning German for a while now, not for my boyfriend
but for me. Even though his English is very good, I would have no issue in communicating in just German, if his English wasn't. I would not be disrespected by this. Afterall, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what word one attaches to mean "love" In other words, doesn't matter what one calls it, it's how you show it to the one you love. Edited by LebensForm on 18 July 2012 at 5:32pm 4 persons have voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| Jumpman Jr. Diglot Newbie Canada howtostudykorean.com Joined 4372 days ago 7 posts - 16 votes Speaks: English*, Korean | Message 54 of 61 20 July 2012 at 8:54am | IP Logged | |||||||||||
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I WISH my girlfriend didn't speak English! I'd be getting a lot more practice if she didn't. I'm always nagging her to stop speaking English!
There are a lot of people, though, that are married to Koreans/going out with Koreans that basically say "I'm not even going to try to learn." I can never really understand that. 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| prz_ Tetraglot Senior Member Poland last.fm/user/prz_rul Joined 4640 days ago 890 posts - 1190 votes Speaks: Polish*, English, Bulgarian, Croatian Studies: Slovenian, Macedonian, Persian, Russian, Turkish, Ukrainian, Dutch, Swedish, German, Italian, Armenian, Kurdish | Message 55 of 61 20 July 2012 at 3:51pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||
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Well. I simply think that we should receive the same what we give. I think it's rather fair... or am I wrong maybe?
Besides, we can simply ask our partner if he or she'd like us to learn his or her native language. That's so easy... But again, maybe only for me - sometimes people are extremely strange... P.S.
I HATE this word! :P 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| MixedUpCody Senior Member United States Joined 5037 days ago 144 posts - 280 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Spanish, Mandarin | Message 56 of 61 20 July 2012 at 10:28pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||
Agreed. There are many things that mean a great deal to different people. We are language people, but that is no reason to press that on our partners. My wife loves the piano, and she practices daily, but I don't have any interest in learning the piano myself. That doesn't mean that I don't care about her passions in life, just that we are different people. I understand that it is a slightly different scenario, but the point is that someone can love you deeply without caring about some of the things that you love. That being said, my wife does speak English and I am constantly improving my Mandarin in order to converse with her family, so I may be in a glass house on this one. 2 persons have voted this message useful |
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