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How to make yourself want something? | ||
Tags: Motivation | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Advice Center |  | |
| Neurocity Diglot Newbie United States Joined 4703 days ago 4 posts - 5 votes Speaks: English*, Spanish Studies: Mandarin | Message 1 of 9 03 July 2013 at 7:40am | IP Logged | |||||||||||
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I sort of feel like I've just been doing things for the sake of doing things. I set goals and if they aren't unrealistic, I'm able to accomplish them but I always just feel so empty while I'm trying to accomplish them. I initially learned Spanish and got to the level where I was able to communicate with people and it was sort of interesting. But after a while, it became boring so I decided to learn Mandarin because I thought it would be more interesting to speak and read in Mandarin. I have been learning for a while now and I can talk and it's kind of cool to understand speech and writing but I don't know.. I feel somewhat empty learning it. I found the characters and tones to be somewhat stimulating but now nothing about it seems to be all that interesting to me.
I feel like I keep putting out these goals for myself to work toward but then when I reach them, I'm not even interested anymore which leaves me with nothing more than emptiness and wasted time. I don't really feel like I actually want anything so I have to artificially make these targets that I aim for without actually wanting. This isn't just limited to language learning, but pretty much every aspect of my life. I'm in my third year of college and I'm a physics major at a reputable university. I've taken plenty of physics, math, and computer science classes just because I felt like I needed to take them rather than actually having a genuine interest in those subjects. If I had something that I were interested in, I would do that and there would be no problem. It just seems like everything that I try to get into ends up being uninteresting. I just want to want something--anything. I was just wondering if there was a way that I could make myself interested in learning languages or anything in general. How do you guys make yourself want something? 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| Sizen Diglot Senior Member Canada Joined 4149 days ago 165 posts - 347 votes  Speaks: English*, French Studies: Catalan, Spanish, Japanese, Ukrainian, German | Message 2 of 9 03 July 2013 at 10:09am | IP Logged | |||||||||||
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I don't think you can easily make yourself want or like something (oh, and I've tried), but you should be able
to make things more interesting for yourself. With language learning, this basically means "find stuff you like". And yes, I know. Doesn't sound very helpful. But the more you like in that language, the more reasons you will have to learn it and the more you will want and like it. I was like you in that I was pretty much just learning languages to learn languages up until about 2 years ago when I decided to take my French studies more seriously. I actually stopped using textbooks and courses and all that (and I've recently stopped setting big goals for myself), and just started to search for enjoyable things in French. I went on YouTube, found some interesting channels, scoured iTunes for interesting podcasts about subjects I like, looked for authors and books that I liked (I didn't even like reading back then and now I'm a reading machine!), looked for good TV shows, found some sites for getting in contact with people who speak the language I want to learn, made some friends. It's no longer about making sure I finish chapter 17 in my grammar book, or learning 2000 words or getting a high retention rate in Anki by next month (although it sure does feel good when you can make that happen), it's about catching the next episode of my favourite series or telling my friend all about the great book I just read. The studying just naturally fits in when I feel like it, or when my current knowledge is hindering my comprehension to the point that what I'm doing is no longer enjoyable. And that should be your motivation: making things enjoyable. These kind of activities (TV, books, conversations, etc) should not be a means to an end, but rather the end itself while the language is the means. I think most people do not get to high proficiency in a language simply because they wanted to learn the language. That might have been what they originally thought, but they more than likely found other things that were even more interesting than the language itself along the way. It takes a while to find enough interesting content to really make language learning feel fulfilling, but if you put a few minutes a day into finding new stuff you like, after a few months you're set. But it doesn't stop there! There's more to discover, so keep going! Of course, when you're just starting a language it's a bit tougher because there is less interesting content that you can understand, but you can already start finding music, subbed/dubbed movies and shows, translated books, history, travel destinations, etc. Maybe you'll understand them in a few months, who knows? So basically, I'm sorry to say, you're just going to have to keep trying new stuff. As for physics, I can't really give any specific advice, but if you already find it relatively interesting (see what I did there?) then you can probably find other ways to make it even more interesting. Internship in a lab, physics related side projects, start a physics club of some sort, record your own podcast or something, I don't know. Do something with it and not just for it. 3 persons have voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| Cavesa Triglot Senior Member Czech Republic Joined 4819 days ago 3277 posts - 6779 votes Speaks: Czech*, FrenchC2, EnglishC1 Studies: Spanish, German, Italian | Message 3 of 9 03 July 2013 at 10:21am | IP Logged | |||||||||||
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That is a really good question. I sometimes struggle with a similar thing and now these are just one of those worse times, so I can partially see where you are. Just a few ideas:
1.What are your goals? "Communicate with people" is a very vague one. And what to do with it when you don't have anyone at hand or if they are boring or annoying? I recommend finding some more. For example, I love to read books and watch tv series and that doesn't get boring no matter the language. Or you can make goals like reading physics articles in Spanish/Mandarin or anything else. Of course it does get boring when you have nothing to apply your new skills at and it makes it feel like you have wasted your time. 2.Why did you choose physics as your major? Were you interested in physics at least at the beginning? That would be the better option, similar to point 1. Physics is such a broad field that there must be something that would recatch your attention and that you could strive for. But if there were other reasons, such as the pressure to choose something practical at all costs, it may be time to reconsider your future. I am now wondering about mine as well because I am not particularly happy about what I study but in my case, it might be just the prolonged stress affecting my brain temporarily. (I'll see in September whether or not it is so). You are in your third year, so you will soon have your BA, won't you? A great time to think of what to do next and choose something you'll love again. 3.If the trouble is to keep going, than what helps me is setting smaller achievements and prizes for myself. Something like "I'll have the degree in five years if I work hard all the time, Yay!" Doesn't work. But "I can spend the next weekend away if I manage this or that!" is better. 4.How goes the rest of your life? (More of a rhetorical question for you to think of, no need to put too private things on forums of course ;-) ). There are many things affecting this, including the way you see yourself and your life, how supportive is your family and friends, whether you are happy, whether you are healthy (there are many things including fatigue syndrom, certain viruses, depression and a lot of others that can affect your psychics in such a way. Proper immunology treatement saved me once.) and so on. 5.Is there really nothing you dream of? Nothing you wanted to do your whole life? Perhaps fulfilling such a dream, even if it is something crazy and for your free time only, could give you energy for the less fun parts of your life. 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| tommus Senior Member CanadaRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 5676 days ago 979 posts - 1688 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Dutch, French, Esperanto, German, Spanish | Message 5 of 9 03 July 2013 at 1:39pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||
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You sound a lot like me. You may be a "scanner". I am interested in just about everything but once I do something, I often lose interest in it because all I seemed to want was to experience it once. I don't like to do repetitive tasks because I find them very boring.
I found out a couple of years ago, on this Forum, that I have a "scanner" personality type. Don't worry. It is actually a good thing. Lots of people are scanners, and there seem to be a lot here on HTLAL. It has been discussed here before but I can't seem to find the threads. The person most associated with this personality type is Barbara Sher who wrote the book "Refuse to Choose" which is a very detailed look at this personality type, and which gives a bit of a cookbook on how to use it to your advantage in your life and your career. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Sher Her own site is: http://www.barbarasher.com/index.htm Here is another interesting page: http://www.think-differently.org/2007/06/are-you-scanner-or- deep-diver/ I think many language learners are scanners, perhaps because there are so many languages out there that you could experience. Another possibly-related personality type, which I also share, is "systemiser" which basically means you are uncomfortable unless you have everything neatly organised. In any case, if you are a scanner, take advantage of it and enjoy the many things in life that you find interesting. On the language front, if you want to stick with a language (as I have done with Dutch), or pick a new language, simultaneously get very interested in the country(s) where that language is spoken. Learn about its history, geography, people, culture, current news, etc. Once you genuinely get hooked on an interesting country, language and its people, you can easily stick with it because it is so enjoyable. 5 persons have voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| YnEoS Senior Member United States Joined 4064 days ago 472 posts - 893 votes Speaks: English* Studies: German, Russian, Cantonese, Japanese, French, Hungarian, Czech, Swedish, Mandarin, Italian, Spanish | Message 6 of 9 03 July 2013 at 4:10pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||
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For me a big part of my motivation with learning (not specific to language, but everything), is about making connections between different fields, which for me came down to taking an interest in art. In high school I got really into music and started listening to music from many different countries, which led me to watching films from those countries, which has become my primary interest and area of study.
Then watching films made me want to learn the history of countries that made those films. And currently the desire to see more films and read more from certain countries has driven me to begin studying languages. I also one day hope to learn more about literature, paintings, sculptures etc. There's a really expansive and fascinating world of culture and art out there, that you'll never have the time to fully appreciate within your lifetime. I think it's just a matter of getting a foothold somewhere and then you become a life long addict. Studying one thing will lead you to connections elsewhere and you won't be able to stop. I would say take whatever your current biggest interest is (music, books, film, television, whatever) and try to explore it as deep as you possibly can in a country you might be interested in studying the language for. Search the internet for message boards, find communities of people who are obsessed with a certain medium, and just keep exploring until you find something that hooks you. 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| Serpent Octoglot Senior Member Russian Federation serpent-849.livejour Joined 6407 days ago 9753 posts - 15779 votes 4 sounds Speaks: Russian*, English, FinnishC1, Latin, German, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese Studies: Danish, Romanian, Polish, Belarusian, Ukrainian, Croatian, Slovenian, Catalan, Czech, Galician, Dutch, Swedish | Message 7 of 9 03 July 2013 at 4:55pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||
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First of all accept it. Don't try to change yourself.
With languages your style is a bit tricky, but try to stick to related languages and passive skills only (but not only reading - listening is very important). With your solid level in Spanish, you can learn a new Romance language every week and keep improving your understanding of them all. You could start with a book that teaches all the Romance languages, such as "The Seven Sieves". If you find the motivation to learn one Germanic or Slavic language to the same level as your Spanish, you can also apply this approach to these families. 1 person has voted this message useful | ||||||||||||
| Neurocity Diglot Newbie United States Joined 4703 days ago 4 posts - 5 votes Speaks: English*, Spanish Studies: Mandarin | Message 8 of 9 03 July 2013 at 8:18pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||
I guess my goals are very vague because I don't really feel like I genuinely want anything other than to be happy. My goals for language learning are generally things like "learn 5000 words in 5 months" or "be able to have a conversation for 10 minutes by talking every day".
I chose to major in physics because I was good at math and I thought that it would be cool to mathematically quantify things using formulas that were derived with observation and math. I guess I thought it would be cool to understand how things worked. I also had a professor that sparked my interest.
I'm pretty fortunate and I've had a good life. I eat well and I exercise to stay healthy. I have a good group of friends. It just seems like everything that I used to be genuinely interested in has been beaten to the ground and I now feel like I don't genuinely want anything anymore. I just feel like if I wanted something, I would be able to work toward that thing that I wanted and that would be good. I think that's my main problem--I don't want anything. I understand that there are a lot of philosophies out there (like Buddhism) that actually are against the notion of wanting things. But I just feel like if I wanted a pie, I could put in the effort to make a pie and then I would enjoy eating that pie. But if I don't want a pie in the first place and then I make a pie, the pie doesn't even taste good when I eat it.
I just want to want something. 2 persons have voted this message useful |
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