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French: Corrections I’m unsure of | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Specific Languages |  | |
| Spinchäeb Ape Diglot Senior Member United States Joined 4290 days ago 146 posts - 180 votes  Speaks: English*, German | Message 1 of 4 09 November 2013 at 1:03am | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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I wrote a short dialogue for Language 8 (pasted at the end of this post) and am not sure of all the corrections. Here are the ones I'm unsure of.
1. I wrote:
It was corrected as:
I'm trying to say, “Are you in a bad mood” or “in a bitchy mood” or “cranky.” I suspect what I wrote may be correct and woman from France who corrected me simply changed it to something that's also correct, but sounds better. I use the Larousse Chambers French/English dictionary within the Goldendict software in Linux. From that source, I got this:
Is my original correct, but not as good sounding as her correction? Or is it wrong in some way? 2. In the little skit that I wrote, a young man keeps putting his unwelcome hands all over a girl. The first time, she says, “Arrête de me tripoter!” which is actually a line I got from a Catherine Deneuve movie. That one has checked out as correct. However, the next time he does it, I wanted her to protest in a different way, something to the effect of, “Get your hands off me.” I wrote:
She corrected it as :
This is another case in which I got what I wrote from Lorouse Chambers:
I suspect her correction fits the conversation better, but was what I wrote incorrect? 3. I wrote:
It was corrected as:
I thought “dit” meant “said,” not “named.” Don't you say “nommé” if the person is male and “nommée” if she's female? 4. In the skit, a male space alien points a ray gun at someone and says, “Haut les mains !” This has checked out as correct. However, I wanted the female space alien to say the same thing in a different way. We can do this in English with different expressions such as, “Hands up,” “stick'em up,” “hands in the air,” etc. I wrote:
It was corrected as:
She made it identical to how the male space alien said it, but I wanted it said a different way. I had consulted Larousse Chambers on this one and found:
Was the way I wrote it wrong for this context? What's happening here? 5. I wanted the female space alien to say, “We're taking you prisoner.” I wrote:
It was corrected as:
Doesn't “ramène” mean “to take back” and hence this correction means to take back to prison? If so, that's not what I was trying to say. The aliens are taking them prisoner for the first time. I also used “nous” instead of “on” because I wanted the aliens' language to sound overly formal and stilted. Would the use of “nous” in this context help to accomplish that? 6. I wanted to say, “To be continued. Next time experience the dastardly crimes of the space aliens.” I wrote:
It was corrected as:
She herself wrote that she wasn't sure what I was trying to say and therefore isn't sure if her correction is right. And that's it. I'll cut and paste the full story here in case you need the context. I've already put in the corrections that I'm sure of. I've only left out the ones discussed here. My English translation follows that. ------------------------------
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| Avid Learner Diglot Senior Member Canada Joined 4482 days ago 100 posts - 156 votes Speaks: French*, English Studies: German | Message 2 of 4 10 November 2013 at 4:20am | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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1. My first impression when I saw "sale humeur" was that it was an unusual expression. That's probably what bugged her. But it's not uncomprehensible and since the Larousse accepts it, the choice is yours. I have a feeling that if a native had written that, the woman wouldn't have said anything, but she probably supposed that you didn't know the usual expression.
2. We could say "Éloigne-toi de moi", for example, but "Enlève tes mains de moi" sounds wrong. I might say "Enlève tes mains de là", but not with a personal pronoun. 3. Not to my knowledge. I would have written "nommé" too. 4. This is like #1. I might have come across "Mains en l'air!", but at first glance, it sounded a little unusual. 5. Actually, she could simply have suggested: "Nous vous faisons prisonnier". "Faire prisonner" is not an uncommon expression. 6. I didn't understand your sentence at all either. I couldn't figure out where the verb was. Then I realized that in the English version, "experience" was the verb, but it was a noun in the French version. It could have been something like "À suivre. La prochaine fois, faites l'expérience des crimes sordides commis par les extraterrestres." 2 persons have voted this message useful | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Spinchäeb Ape Diglot Senior Member United States Joined 4290 days ago 146 posts - 180 votes Speaks: English*, German | Message 3 of 4 10 November 2013 at 6:22am | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Thanks for your explanations. They're very helpful.
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| tastyonions Triglot Senior Member United States goo.gl/UIdChYRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 4485 days ago 1044 posts - 1823 votes Speaks: English*, French, Spanish Studies: Italian | Message 4 of 4 10 November 2013 at 1:35pm | IP Logged | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
"Dit" can be used to mean "named" or often "called" (it seems like the nuance is usually that the person is "dit" something that is not their birth name, e.g. Robert dit Fabrice, but I'm not sure if that is necessary to say "dit" or not). But "nommé(e)" is also correct. Edited by tastyonions on 10 November 2013 at 3:34pm 2 persons have voted this message useful |
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