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Sex unbalance in language exchanges | ||
Tags: Gender | Tandem/Language Exchange | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : General discussion |  | |
| japkorengchi Senior Member Hong Kong Joined 6492 days ago 334 posts - 355 votes  | Message 25 of 51 19 March 2007 at 7:54am | IP Logged | ||
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If you think from her point of view, you will understand what she felt when she discovered that you was married.
I was "chasing" a girl when I met a Korean girl. In the first day we talked I told her that I already had someone in my mind. I simply wanted to make it clear that I did not want to develop anymore than friendship with her. I successfully gained her trust and had some practice in both Japanese and Korean with her. Actually I want to talk with boys as well because there are too many things I have to think about with female friends. But until now no any males came to my aid. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| PETE Triglot Groupie United States Joined 6295 days ago 73 posts - 85 votes Speaks: English*, German, Russian Studies: Spanish | Message 26 of 51 19 March 2007 at 11:56pm | IP Logged | ||
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I must say, from a woman's perspective, that I am definitely hesitant to meet up with men for language exchange. I am suspicious, I must admit, that there are ulterior motives. - iieee
- Sure, because a woman would never DREAM of having an ulterior motive given the same situation, let alone possibly enjoying the idea that the man may have one...right? This is nothing more than a manufactured problem. 1. Stress before you meet to work together that studying is the only reason you are getting together and want nothing more. Tell them politely but firmly that if it turns out they aren't as serious, you will walk. 2. Meet in a public place like a library or coffee house. (If they prove 'trustworthy' after a number of study sessions, or things accidentally blossom, studying in the privacy of someones home/apartment would then be acceptable.) 3. Invite a third person to join you. Besides ensuring strength in numbers, it could also help make your study efforts more productive. Problem solved. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| Louche Diglot Newbie United States Joined 6331 days ago 18 posts - 18 votes Speaks: English*, French Studies: Romanian, Swahili | Message 27 of 51 25 March 2007 at 11:56am | IP Logged | ||
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... I haven't noticed anything sexual about having a language partner. That's probably because I'm usually too young for the people I chat with... and gay. :) Guys do seem to be interested in me in any discussion - oh, guys - but I have never found anything frightening about that (if anything, it's nice). lol........ And girls are just nice. If a girl were interested in me, I think that would make it sooo much better. I spend half the time chatting with people instead of studying anyway, so it wouldn't be anything new...
1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| agimcomas Pentaglot Groupie Canada Joined 6271 days ago 69 posts - 77 votes Speaks: Spanish*, French, English, Portuguese, German Studies: Mandarin, Korean | Message 28 of 51 25 March 2007 at 6:15pm | IP Logged | ||
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I believe that it is wiser to get a male exchange partner, if you are a male, because you will probably become good buddies, talk about women, laugh a lot, etc. You cannot build that kind of friendship with a girl in a restricted period of time... And what if you don't find her attractive, or the other way round? I don't see it working.
My advise is get a male exchange partner and go hunting for girls together. -A 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| andee Tetraglot Senior Member Japan Joined 6889 days ago 681 posts - 724 votes 3 sounds Speaks: English*, German, Korean, French | Message 29 of 51 26 March 2007 at 6:01am | IP Logged | ||
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| Halcyon Diglot Newbie United States Joined 6267 days ago 35 posts - 37 votes Speaks: English*, Mandarin Studies: Japanese | Message 30 of 51 27 March 2007 at 1:33am | IP Logged | ||
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That's strange. Throughout my studies here, I've just seen guys get all the longterm language partners. A lot of Chinese girls just kind of walk up to foreigner (looking) guys and flat out ask them if they know _____ language and if they wanted to be language partners, whereas a lot of Chinese guys haven't really gone up to any foreigner (looking) girls and done anything so bold (unless they were in a bar)... that I've seen or heard of, anyway.
I haven't really had a real language partner, but just from the Koreans and few Japanese that are friendly acquaintances to me, all were female. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| japkorengchi Senior Member Hong Kong Joined 6492 days ago 334 posts - 355 votes | Message 31 of 51 27 March 2007 at 3:33am | IP Logged | ||
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It is really okay if I do so? It seems western men are curious of our girls so they can easlly get to talk with them. If most western girls are feeling okay with me, I will become the one who walks up to them and invite them for a language exchange. I am not asking for love seriously. What I have is a sincere hope to learn some languages to a high level.
1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| Halcyon Diglot Newbie United States Joined 6267 days ago 35 posts - 37 votes Speaks: English*, Mandarin Studies: Japanese | Message 32 of 51 27 March 2007 at 3:51am | IP Logged | ||
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I think it would be alright if you did so... I don't really feel weird about guys coming up to talk to me until they go, "so do you want to go to ____(random foreigner bar) later?"
Maybe you can talk to some, and if you are able to make okay converstation with them, just mention you have a girlfriend.. assuming that they'll take that as you're not single and looking still.. some might still think you're looking for love or the other way around, but it should drop some hinters... at least it would with me. I guess that might be kind of "ehh..." if you really aren't taken, but you can always say that was a mistake in words later on... :P 1 person has voted this message useful |
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