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Zorndyke
Diglot
Senior Member
Germany
Joined 6717 days ago

374 posts - 382 votes 
Speaks: German*, English
Studies: Czech

 
 Message 9 of 110
14 May 2007 at 4:20am | IP Logged 
Hm... There are a few mistakes and expressions that sound somewhat odd.

Ich habe meinen Vater kaum gekannt. Er starb mit 75, ich war damals noch nicht einmal 10. An den Tag kann ich mich noch gut erinnern. Es war ein sonniger Tag im September, und in dem Haus war eine ungewöhnliche Atmosphäre. Ich habe noch genau vor Augen, wie ich in dem großen Raum auf dem Stuhl saß; eine Wespe flog hin und her, aber ansonsten war das Haus total still. Einer meiner älteren Brüder hat gesagt: „Vater stirbt, aber du solltest hier bleiben.“ Alle waren bei ihm, nur ich war „zu jung“ und deswegen wurde ich ausgeschlossen. Ich weiβ nicht, was mich trauriger machte: dieser Zustand, oder der Tod meines Vaters, dessen Bedeutung ich natürlich noch überhaupt nicht verstehen konnte. Eine Erinnerung von ihm hat mich am meisten beeindruckt: sein Zimmer von dem Flur aus zu sehen und ihn zu beobachten, wie er in dem Licht der Lampe an dem Schreibtisch saβ. Es war, wie ein Licht am Ende eines Tunnels zu sehen.


btw, lighthouse = Leuchtturm ;-)

Edited by Zorndyke on 14 May 2007 at 4:21am

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Journeyer
Triglot
Senior Member
United States
tristan85.blogspot.c
Joined 6627 days ago

946 posts - 1110 votes 
Speaks: English*, Spanish, German
Studies: Sign Language

 
 Message 10 of 110
14 May 2007 at 10:24am | IP Logged 
Thank you for the translation correction.

I enjoy translating, but it's these little errors that frustrate me, and expressions like "vor den Augen" are so clear once I see them but in the meantime I'm totally oblivious to them. It makes me feel like learning a language perfectly (which, in German, at least, is my goal) is like trying to plug a bunch of holes in a dam with my fingers: when I think I get one stopped up, a whole bunch more start shooting water out and I feel overwhelmed, it's like trying to count stars.

Zorndyke wrote:
btw, lighthouse = Leuchtturm ;-)


:-) Yeah, I thought of that on my way to catch the bus. Oh well, I know better, now.

I think that's maybe the only way for me to get over these frustrations: instead of letting them get me down, think of it as, "Well, now I'm a little more knowledgable".

Edited by Journeyer on 14 May 2007 at 10:50am

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Journeyer
Triglot
Senior Member
United States
tristan85.blogspot.c
Joined 6627 days ago

946 posts - 1110 votes 
Speaks: English*, Spanish, German
Studies: Sign Language

 
 Message 11 of 110
14 May 2007 at 10:49am | IP Logged 
Here are the other two texts I said I'd work on.

Once again, corrections are welcome. Thank you.

Beginner:
Hallo Lisa,

Hier ist eine Postkarte von meiner Stadt. Sie ist zwar nicht sehr groβ, sonder nett. Bitte erzähl mir mehr über deine Stadt. Wie viele Leute wohnen da? Was ist besonderes nettes darüber? Wohin gehst du abends?

John


Intermediate: (answer to having won a tour through the USA)
Thank you very much. I am so glad I won the prize. I would like to travel to the USA in July because of my job. Will I be able to see my cousin Ann in Dallas? I know the tour only goes through Houston... Also I would really like to go swimming in the ocean. I hope there will be time for that.
Yours sincerely,

Michelle Dubois

Vielen Dank. Es freut mich so, dass ich den Preis gewonnen habe. Wegen meiner Arbeit möchte ich im Juli durch die USA reisen. Kann ich in dieser Zeit meine Cousine Ann in Dallas besuchen? Ich weiβ die Tour geht nur durch Houson...Ich möchte auch im Ozean schwimmen. Hoffentlich gibt es Zeit dafür.
Mit freundlichen Grüβen,

Michelle Dubois

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Iversen
Super Polyglot
Moderator
Denmark
berejst.dk
Joined 6462 days ago

9078 posts - 16473 votes 
Speaks: Danish*, French, English, German, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Dutch, Swedish, Esperanto, Romanian, Catalan
Studies: Afrikaans, Greek, Norwegian, Russian, Serbian, Icelandic, Latin, Irish, Lowland Scots, Indonesian, Polish, Croatian
Personal Language Map

 
 Message 12 of 110
14 May 2007 at 4:24pm | IP Logged 
Aceasta temă este dedicată celor care aş vreau să-şi perfectioneze şi să practiceze limbii lor străine cu ajutorul poligloţilor acestui forum. Astă este idea: eu voi posta texte în engleza de dificultate diferită şi voi încerceţi să le traducezeţi în oarecare limbă străină ce ştiţi. Nu eşte obligatoriu să le traduceţi la toate limbile care ştiţi sau să participaţi deloc, se poate să face traducerile tot simplu pentru limbile cu care vă pare util să-le face.

Important: trebuie să fie o traducere nu prea literală la o limbă străină, nu limba maternă. Sînt sigur(ă) că cei care au limba spaniolă ca limba maternă pot să produzeze o traducere perfectă acestor texte în spaniola, dar aşta nu eşte intenţia a mea.

Se poate să posteze traduceri voastre la acest forum şi un membru o să le corectează. Dacă nu cereţi o corectare sau cereţi corectarea să fie trimit cu messenger binevoiţi să-o indicaţi.

Bine, destul de preambul. Aici textele de astăzi:

Începător:
Draga Lisa, iată o cartă postală cu motiu de oraşul meu. Nu-i mare, dar frumos. Te rog să-mi spuni mai mult despre al tău oraş! Cîte locuitori are? Ce lucru are de mai mult frumos? Ce locălităţi frecvenţi la noapte?

Intermediar (răspundere informaţia de a avea cîştigat o călătorie prin SUA):
Vă mulţumesc. Imi bucur mult că am cîştigat premiul. Din cauza al meu lucru aş vrea să intreprinde călătoria în juliu. E posibil ca eu să vizitez a mea verişoara Ann la Dallas? Ştiu ca parcursul numai să treceste prin Houston … De asemenea aş vrea să-mi face baie la ocean. Doresc să am tîmp pentru asta.

Avansat:
Abia am cunoscut Tatal meu. Cînd a murit cu 75 ani, eu încă nu am avut 10 ani. Acest zi mă-l duc aminte foarte bine. A fost un zi însorit de septembriu şi avuse o atmosfera deosebită acasă. Mă văd la camera mare totalmente singur pe un scaun, o viespe zumzuînd de pe cameră, dar în afară de astă toata casă a fost tăcută. Unul dintre fraţii mari m-a zis "Tata e murînd, dar tu trebuie să rămâni aici". Toţi a fost cu el fără eu, am fost prea puţin şi m-au exclus. Nu ştiu ce lucru m-a dezgustat mai mult, această condiţie sau moartea tatalui meu, căruia semnificaţie nu am inţeles deloc. O sclipire de ei m-a foarte impresionat: l-am văzut la camera de coridorul, aşezînd la birou şi îluminat de o lampă. A fost ca şi o lumină la coada de un tunel.


... and yes, I know that the text above is full of errors. I just hope that it is not too incomprehensible. At least it was fun doing it.


Edited by Iversen on 14 May 2007 at 5:08pm

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magister
Pro Member
United States
Joined 6362 days ago

346 posts - 421 votes 
Speaks: English*
Studies: Turkish, Irish
Personal Language Map

 
 Message 13 of 110
15 May 2007 at 11:13am | IP Logged 
English to Turkish. Corrections are eagerly hoped for, and desperately needed.

Acemi:

Merhaba Lisa,
Işte benim şehrimden bir kartpostal. Çok büyük değil, ama güzel. Bana daha çok şehrin hakkında söyleyin, lütfen. Özellikle güzel şehrin hakkında nedir? Akşamlar nereye gidersin?

EDIT: I forgot to include my "lütfen" (please)!

Edited by magister on 15 May 2007 at 4:08pm

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Nordlicht
Triglot
Groupie
Germany
Joined 6172 days ago

47 posts - 50 votes
Speaks: German*, English, Latin
Studies: Spanish, Japanese, Esperanto

 
 Message 14 of 110
15 May 2007 at 3:07pm | IP Logged 
Journeyer wrote:

Once again, corrections are welcome. Thank you.

Beginner:
Hallo Lisa,

Hier ist eine Postkarte von meiner Stadt. Sie ist zwar nicht sehr groβ, sonder nett. Bitte erzähl mir mehr über deine Stadt. Wie viele Leute wohnen da? Was ist besonderes nettes darüber? Wohin gehst du abends?

John


I've spotted only two minor mistakes. "Sie ist zwar nicht sehr groß, sonder(n) nett"
You wouldn't use "sondern" in this case, since sondern is mostly used to make contradictions.
By saying "Sie ist nicht sehr groß, sondern nett" you're essentially saying "It's not big, it's nice" the emphasis being that the town is nice instead of being big. I hope that did not totally confuse you now.
Maybe these examples will help you
"Nicht klein, sondern groß"
"Ich war nicht traurig, sondern wütend"    
"Das Licht ist nicht aus, sondern an."

The correct translation for "It is not very big, but it is nice" would be "Sie ist nicht sehr groß, (dafür) aber nett" the "dafür" isn't really needed, but I think it sounds more natural. It indicates that, in exchange for not being big, it's at least nice.

The other mistake is that you wouldn't say "Was ist besonderes nettes darüber?" grammatically correct would be "Was ist besonders nett daran" but it still sounds strange because no one would talk like that. We'd probably just ask "Was gibt es nettes in der Stadt?" or "Was ist nett an der Stadt?" though we'd probably rather use "schön" instead of "nett"

Journeyer wrote:


Michelle Dubois

Vielen Dank. Es freut mich so, dass ich den Preis gewonnen habe. Wegen meiner Arbeit möchte ich im Juli durch die USA reisen. Kann ich in dieser Zeit meine Cousine Ann in Dallas besuchen? Ich weiβ die Tour geht nur durch Houson...Ich möchte auch im Ozean schwimmen. Hoffentlich gibt es Zeit dafür.
Mit freundlichen Grüβen,

Michelle Dubois


Great work here, the only thing I can critisize here is that "Es freut mich so..." is again a bit strange. You'd say "Es freut mich sehr" or "so sehr"
There's no true mistake in you translation for the sentence about swimming in the ocean (other than that you forgot the 'really') but there is a better way of translating that sentence I think. I suggest
"Außerdem möchte ich wirklich im Ozean schwimmen" since I think the "also" here indicates that you want to do that as well as other things, not that other people are going to be swimming and you want to swimm too like it sounds in your German sentence when you use "auch". Of course you can use "auch" in this case without it being wrong, I only think that "außerdem" would make it clearer. :)

You did a great job


So I guess I'm going to try beginner Japanese and Spanish too. (Corrections very welcome)

Beginner Japanese

こんにちは、リサさん

これは私の町の葉書です。あまり大きくない ですけど、いい町です。リサさんの町のこと を教えてください。何人がそこに住んでいま すか。リサさんの町について何がいいですか 。夕方にはどこに行きますか?

ジョーン

Beginner Spanish


Bunas días, Lisa
Aquí está una postál de mi pueblo. No es muy grande, pero sí es bonito. Dime más sobre tu pueblo por favor. Cuantás personas viven allí? Qué es especialmente bonito sobre tu pueblo? Adonde vas por las tardes?

John

Edited by Nordlicht on 15 May 2007 at 3:33pm

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Journeyer
Triglot
Senior Member
United States
tristan85.blogspot.c
Joined 6627 days ago

946 posts - 1110 votes 
Speaks: English*, Spanish, German
Studies: Sign Language

 
 Message 15 of 110
15 May 2007 at 3:37pm | IP Logged 
Nordlicht, thank you very much for going over that. And yes, your explanations were clear to me. :-) Thanks for pointing out some of the nuances that I hadn't been aware of (ie "ausserdem" vs. "auch" and "dafuer").

This was very encouraging! :-)
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patuco
Diglot
Moderator
Gibraltar
Joined 6774 days ago

3795 posts - 4268 votes 
Speaks: Spanish, English*
Personal Language Map

 
 Message 16 of 110
15 May 2007 at 5:08pm | IP Logged 
Nordlicht wrote:
So I guess I'm going to try beginner Japanese and Spanish too. (Corrections very welcome)...

Beginner Spanish


Bunas días, Lisa
Aquí está una postál de mi pueblo. No es muy grande, pero sí es bonito. Dime más sobre tu pueblo por favor. Cuantás personas viven allí? Qué es especialmente bonito sobre tu pueblo? Adonde vas por las tardes?

John


How about the following:

Hola Lisa,
Aquí tienes una tarjeta postál de mi pueblo. No es muy grande, pero es bonito. Por favor díme más sobre tu pueblo. ¿Cuántas personas viven allí? ¿Qué es especialmente bonito de tu pueblo? ¿Adónde vas de noche?

John


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