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How to make conversations happen | ||
Tags: Conversation | Travel | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Cultural Experiences in Foreign Languages |  | |
| jasoninchina Senior Member China Joined 5041 days ago 221 posts - 306 votes  Speaks: English* Studies: Mandarin, Italian | Message 1 of 26 24 October 2010 at 11:49am | IP Logged | ||
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I have the awesome opportunity to live in the country of my target language. Its been a great experience and I am learning a lot. I have gotten into many great conversations with the locals and enjoy that learning process quite a bit. However, I find that it doesn't happen as much as I would like. So, I would like to ask everyone what tips and tricks they have for making conversations happen. I have to admit that I'm not the most outgoing person, so wandering about the town and engaging in random conversation can be difficult.
So the question is: How can I go about creating quality conversations with the locals? 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| Ari Heptaglot Senior Member Norway Joined 6392 days ago 2314 posts - 5695 votes Speaks: Swedish*, English, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Mandarin, Cantonese Studies: Czech, Latin, German | Message 2 of 26 24 October 2010 at 1:36pm | IP Logged | ||
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I recall a tip by Irishpolyglot about wearing something outrageous that makes people want to ask you about it. Then again, as a white face in China, you might feel yourself being stared at enough as it is.
Most really good and long conversations don't happen with strangers, however. If you're living in the country, get some friends. Then buy them dinner or invite them for tea. Hotpot is a good idea, as it takes a long time and there's nothing to do but talk. And do this one-on-one, unless your level is pretty high, as you otherwise risk getting lost as they talk to each other. And, of course, if you're not in the north (I recall you're in Hainan, yes?) they will probably feel most comfortable seaking their mother tongue with each other. Also, in my experience, say something political. That'll get the conversation going (though you might want to brush up on your political vocab first). And unless you're already taken, a girl will provide an tireless conversation partner. 3 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| Gatsby Diglot Senior Member United States Joined 5972 days ago 57 posts - 129 votes Speaks: English*, French Studies: Dutch | Message 3 of 26 24 October 2010 at 11:29pm | IP Logged | ||
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Do they have organized groups in China for different interests and hobbies like they have in the Western world? (Examples - hiking, bicycling, stamp collecting, local history, etc.). If so, find one that interests you and join. This should open up a wide range of opportunities to converse and make friends.
4 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| smallwhite Pentaglot Senior Member Australia Joined 5118 days ago 537 posts - 1045 votes Speaks: Cantonese*, English, Mandarin, French, Spanish | Message 4 of 26 25 October 2010 at 12:14am | IP Logged | ||
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You could pick one or two small and casual food places (like noodle shops), go there often, preferably alone, and chat with the waitresses and shop-owners there. My parents have made quite a few personal friends that way, and they'd play sports or mahjong together. I haven't made actual friends that way, but the waitresses often come chat with me as I enjoy my coffee.
We usually talk about the food, how it's cooked, what goes well with what, the neighbourhood, parking, their work-shift hours, who is new and who resigned, why they serve certain food some specific way, they often like to share their tricks of the trade and could go on forever, my hair, my fingernails, the book I'm reading, what I've bought that day, I've just bought this fish how do you actually wash a fish, there's a sale going on at XXX... I guess we're a family of chatterboxes :) PS.: These are all Chinese people so I guess this should apply in Mainland China just as well. Edited by smallwhite on 25 October 2010 at 12:19am 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| ericspinelli Diglot Senior Member Japan Joined 5593 days ago 249 posts - 493 votes Speaks: English*, Japanese Studies: Korean, Italian | Message 5 of 26 25 October 2010 at 4:10am | IP Logged | ||
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I agree a lot with smallwhite. One of my best friends here in Japan is the owner and cook of a small restaurant. Not only have we been friends for years but he introduces me to his other regulars, interesting new patrons, and his staff, many of whom have also become my friends. Though I learned to read Japanese through self-study, I learned to speak at his restaurant.
In addition, here are a few suggestions I made in response to traveling solo in Japan, but they should be of some use elsewhere as well: -At restaurants, sit at the counter, rather than a table/booth. This is where other single patrons will be sitting and a better place to meet people. Smile and talk to the waitstaff or cook. More people will chat you up if you are talkative yourself (and they know you can speak some Japanese). -At events (festivals, parades, etc.), ask for directions rather than trying to find places yourself. "Where are the yatai (food stands)?" or "Where does the parade start/finish?" or "Where can I buy beer?" Ask people your age who are hanging out, who might invite you to join them, rather than passerbys or at convenience stores. -Ask for recommendations. For food, for places, for whatever. "Where is a fun bar?" is better than looking in your Lonely Planet and asking, "Where is bar ABC?" This starts, rather than ends, a conversation. 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| maaku Senior Member United States Joined 5384 days ago 359 posts - 562 votes Speaks: English* | Message 6 of 26 25 October 2010 at 7:38am | IP Logged | ||
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Your givaway is "I have to admit that I'm not the most outgoing person". That, not language, is the problem. Ask yourself, 'how can I be a better conversationalist (in my native language)?' and you'll have the answer.
Sorry, I just don't know enough from one post to give you more feedback than that. 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| liddytime Pentaglot Senior Member United States mainlymagyar.wordpre Joined 6039 days ago 693 posts - 1328 votes Speaks: English*, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Galician Studies: Hungarian, Vietnamese, Modern Hebrew, Norwegian, Persian, Arabic (Written) | Message 7 of 26 25 October 2010 at 1:07pm | IP Logged | ||
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I have found that a big smile and a "Hi" in the native language goes a loooong way. Often you will get a big smile
back and an " ahhhh... you speak XX !" which then leads to some conversations. Also, my best and most interesting conversations in foreign countries have been with KIDS! Kids love to talk to you and aren't as shy as adults. I remember in Haiti last winter I was arguing ( jokingly) with a teenager in Kreyol about whether or not Bob Marley was Haitian or not. :-) Last summer I was talking with a Mexican teen about what it is like to go to school in Mexico. In Turkey kids would talk with me for hours ( mainly because they had never heard a yabanci speak Turkish before!) :-) Kids love to talk! 5 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| Snowflake Senior Member United States Joined 5769 days ago 1032 posts - 1233 votes Studies: Mandarin | Message 8 of 26 25 October 2010 at 7:36pm | IP Logged | ||
I'd go with this suggestion. If you can't find any organized groups that appeal to you, then try looking for some fun classes like maybe tàijíquán (太極拳), playing Go, etc. Good luck! 1 person has voted this message useful |
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