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How to raise Bilingual Children? | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : General discussion |  | |
| Emilia Newbie Italy Joined 6145 days ago 26 posts - 27 votes Speaks: Italian* | Message 65 of 69 21 March 2009 at 1:52am | IP Logged | ||||||||||||||
I don't think she should have been brought out by her family in, or with, any language she is not culturally tied with. There are other ways to learn *foreign* languages, and I don't think one should be brought up in/with *foreign* language as her primary means of communication in her primary context (home, school, etc). Obviously we won't agree on that, but that's what I think. I don't see the problem in the fact that it's something *additional*, but in the fact that it's *foreign*, and I don't think foreign elements should constitute one's primary context (i.e. home). Why? That's a tough question, and it would take me a really long time to properly elaborate on that. Let's just say that I think it's 'healthier' for child, his/her sense of identity (primary as well as "cultural" identity), as well as that it's more respectful towards your culture and background, and finally, towards the child. So if the "primary context" happens to consist of more linguistic elements (as I said, mixed marriages, living in another country, strong cultural ties with something, etc), I'm okay with it. But I'm not okay with *adding* more linguistic elements where they are not needed and basically forcing your child into something *you* want him/her to go.
What I propose are measures for "offering" your child multilingualism. It doesn't mean forcing it into your child, just "offering", allowing it to happen someplace else with somebody else in some other context, and not in the context of home, primary communication with parents and friends, etc. I think you shouldn't "force" multilingualism into your child unless it happens to be a natural part of that primary context. Offer, yes; but actively force, no.
Linguistically, yes. It definitely is more natural to learn a language that way.
By "knowing what is foreign", I didn't have in mind "being aware that something is foreign" (not xenophobic), but rather, "being familiar with the foreign", but not making foreign your own. Still, the citizens of the world thing isn't quite my cup of tea, sorry. I have spent extended periods of time in other countries, spoken other languages on daily basis, travelled, I have foreign friends and contacts, but that doesn't and will never take away the fact that I do essentially belong to one *part* of all of the world I experienced, not to the whole of it. Sure, I can be a guest, a passenger, even a long-time resident, but my primary identity and culture are strongly fixed.
Professors during foreign language lessons, friends from abroad, nannies, whoever. But NOT family. On the whole... We won't agree. :-) But that's okay too. As I said, it's not my intention to tell anyone how to live and raise their children, I'm just putting my personal opinions into some kind of perspective. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||||||||
| portunhol Triglot Senior Member United States thelinguistblogger.w Joined 6257 days ago 198 posts - 299 votes  Speaks: English*, Spanish, Portuguese Studies: German, Arabic (classical) | Message 66 of 69 08 April 2009 at 4:15pm | IP Logged | ||||||||||||||
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As usual, I'm coming in to the discussion quite late but I would like to add my two cents since this is something I've thought a lot about and have researched quite a bit on my own. I have found two cases where a parent successfully taught a language to his children that was not his native tongue. In both cases, the children were very grateful and loved being bilingual.
The "one parent, one language" rule has had the most success, by far, though it's not the only system that works. Whatever your method, the more consistent you are the more likely it is that your child will become a competent bilingual. You can speak to others, including your spouse, in whatever language they understand best but you must be consistent with the child, especially in their early years. Other than that the greatest key to success that I've observed is making the bilingualism a positive thing in the child's life. The more movies, stories, songs, etc. you can find in the minority language, the better. The more friends the child has that speak the minority language the better. As with most parenting issues, you need to try and be firm but not overbearing. This isn't something easy to pull off but I'm excited to try it when my wife and I have children. I feel like I've seen enough people do it right and enough do it wrong for us to have as good a shot as anyone. Edited by portunhol on 08 April 2009 at 5:07pm 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||||||||
| SlickAs Tetraglot Senior Member Canada Joined 5882 days ago 185 posts - 287 votes Speaks: English*, Spanish, French, Swedish Studies: Thai, Vietnamese | Message 67 of 69 08 April 2009 at 4:24pm | IP Logged | ||||||||||||||
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I can't believe this discussion is still continueing! Like I said, I know hundreds of people in Montreal who were brought up bi-lingually, and even tri-lingually. It gave them an advantage. That is all that is important, right?
For me the conversation is over. IF [it hurts the child] THEN stop. else continue. If we all agree that it does not hurt the child, then all this talk of foreignness is just some sort of xenophobia, or some desire to have "the kid fit in" (which is another word for xenophobia). I wont open this discussion again. It is finished for me. I'll bring up my own child multi-lingual. If you don't want to, then you can blow smoke with your reasons all you want about culture and blah, blah, blah. It doesn't hurt the kid, and is right for me and my wife, so make up your reasons for not doing it, but don't pretend it is for the good of the kid. It is cultural / societial aspects that reflect on you as a parent. Enough already! 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||||||||
| CaitO'Ceallaigh Triglot Senior Member United States katiekelly.wordpress Joined 6862 days ago 795 posts - 829 votes Speaks: English*, Spanish, Russian Studies: Czech, German | Message 68 of 69 09 April 2009 at 6:55pm | IP Logged | ||||||||||||||
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I'm jumping into this very late, and I haven't read the entire thread, but I just want to say some friends of mine are bringing up their kids to speak three languages: Papamientu, the father's first language; French, their mother's; and English, whenever they're around English speakers.
Their first child's doctor recommended this, because he had a stroke when he was born, and it was felt that the more languages he was introduced to, and the sooner, the faster his brain could develop, especially post-stroke. He's almost two now, and is a happy, bubbly, tri-lingual American boy. I just think that's pretty cool. Edited by CaitO'Ceallaigh on 09 April 2009 at 6:55pm 1 person has voted this message useful | |||||||||||||||
| Emilia Newbie Italy Joined 6145 days ago 26 posts - 27 votes Speaks: Italian* | Message 69 of 69 16 April 2009 at 2:26am | IP Logged | ||||||||||||||
The world doesn't care if the discussion finished for *you*, SlickAs, no need to come and state that twice, ignore what you don't like or you aren't interested in. If there are other people who still want to discuss it, they will, and you're actually being pretty impolite pretending the discussion to end when *you* have nothing more to add/remove and wondering how come the discussion is still going on.
Nobody on this thread so far actually proved me wrong in the line of reasoning, and very few bothered to give *argumentated* reasons against my specific points, even though they didn't agree with me and still don't agree with me, and that's perfectly okay with me (and I believe with them too). Other than that, it's mostly been stuff of the kind "citizens of the world" (which is an equally ideological stance as is nationalism, just reverse - it's NOT a *fact* in any way; and even if it was, I don't see why it would imply it to be good to speak in one's primary context languages foreign to that context), "advantage for the kid" (I never said it wasn't, do READ what I post - I just don't think it's appropriate in all circumstances. BIG difference.), "doesn't hurt the kid" (if something doesn't hurt, it doesn't imply it is necessarily positive in all cases and under all circumstances - it only says it doesn't hurt; I don't know about you, but I don't do stuff which "don't hurt", but stuff which "do good"; and if I have something which potentially "does good", I first consider whether it is applicable to circumstances, and only then apply it), and alike. I also explicitly said that I accept other people raising their children the way they deem it appropriate. But I'll still say that I consider some stuff wrong. Where's the problem? We're discussing the thing, why are you getting so upset over some online discussion? Also, I don't "pretend" it's for the good of the kid. I honestly think it is bad - not neutral, BAD - to impose certain stuff on kid, even if the kid doesn't feel the burden, because of parent's pretentiousness and ambitions. And speaking a foreign language to your kid is in my view in most cases exactly that. Of course that societal/cultural aspects reflect on me as a parent. So do they on everybody, parents or not. And guess what? My culture actually appreciates itself and its language as something beautiful. Doesn't have inferiority complex as some other cultures I've met. Doesn't feel its language is "not good enough" to be, if circumstances are such, the ONLY language one shall know. Doesn't take away the comfort of living in OUR language by forcing in some circumstances some other (e.g. we still dub most of the things, and we dub them in the brilliant quality most of the time; I know this is bad for language learning, but the quality of you watching a well-dubbed film and subtitled one is incomparable). Heck, we don't even care too much about indulging tourists with their languages past some basic communication level. If it's a cultural thing, I'm actually pretty damn proud to come from such a culture. And I fully intend to teach my children the same. Don't worry, it won't prevent them from learning foreign languages, going abroad, getting to know the world and, who knows, maybe even finding their place in the world someplace else. They get to choose their identity later, they get to choose who they want to be, and if they figure out they want to be, say, French citizens and culturally French, fine by me. If in their childhood/teens they wish to learn French, I'll help them financially. But I'll never speak French to them, and won't respond if they try to speak it to me. And that's all it's about, really. It isn't about hindering their learning or something, it's simply about not making foreigners out of your kids. Yet, my kids probably will be bilingual, since I happen to be in a relationship with a foreigner (so much about my xenophobia :P). And, believe it or not, it was actually me - xenophobic me :D - convincing him to pass his language and culture, and not the reverse. Why? Because primary cultural context in this case will happen to consist of more elements. But we won't artificially INSERT other elements where there's no need for them. That's what I'm talking about all the time. Mixed marriages, living or having lived abroad for a long period of time, etc... are special cases. I whine ONLY about speaking foreign languages you are in no way tied with (heritage, living abroad) to your children FOR THE SAKE of them learning another language. Which is the case of the original post. And still, I don't care if you do it. Everybody has a right on their choice, I just see no reason why should I not state my opinion and discuss these issues if you have a problem with it. There's always an option of not reading what's irritating you. 1 person has voted this message useful |
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