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BAnna’s TAC 2014 Spaß-Lobo-IndRussian | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Language Learning Log |  | |
| Josquin Heptaglot Senior Member Germany Joined 4845 days ago 2266 posts - 3992 votes  Speaks: German*, English, French, Latin, Italian, Russian, Swedish Studies: Japanese, Irish, Portuguese, Persian | Message 33 of 236 04 February 2013 at 12:22pm | IP Logged | ||
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| BAnna Triglot Senior Member United States Joined 4623 days ago 409 posts - 616 votes Speaks: English*, German, Spanish Studies: Russian, Turkish | Message 34 of 236 06 February 2013 at 5:27am | IP Logged | ||
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@Josquin: Danke dir! I wasn't going for barking, but something more along the lines of "if he makes a peep, the slightest little noise, whimper", etc. I've been forcing myself to write these without referring to dictionaries or grammars and instead just relying on my brain, so sometimes things may have some rather strange wording. Undoubtedly that makes it harder to correct. On Lang-8 I did one where I included the English version of what I was trying to say, would that help if I did that here? I really, really, REALLY appreciate your corrections: they point out my weak spots, so I'd like to make your job easier if possible. OK, yes, if I made fewer mistakes your job would be much easier, so I'll work on that as well.
And sorry for the content of this one, after the exchange about humor, I just couldn't resist retelling a stale joke ... Edited by BAnna on 06 February 2013 at 5:27am 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| Sunja Diglot Senior Member Germany Joined 6086 days ago 2020 posts - 2295 votes 1 sounds Speaks: English*, German Studies: French, Mandarin | Message 35 of 236 06 February 2013 at 9:07am | IP Logged | ||
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For me, descriptive writing in a foreign language is hard. I'm also wondering what to say for "if he makes the slightest peep."
Piepsen is only for things that make a peep-like noise (birds, electronic gagets). That phrase "not to make a peep" or "a peep out of someone" doesn't quite translate. For your next creative writing you could google your sentence that you want to check and you will come across a blog or a forum like this Dogforum. You'll come across all kinds of new words like "fiepen" (or is that only when the dog has asthma?). The writing is usually not as good (it's what you would expect for a blog or forum) but there are plenty of interesting words. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| Josquin Heptaglot Senior Member Germany Joined 4845 days ago 2266 posts - 3992 votes Speaks: German*, English, French, Latin, Italian, Russian, Swedish Studies: Japanese, Irish, Portuguese, Persian | Message 36 of 236 06 February 2013 at 9:38am | IP Logged | ||
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Don't worry! Your German is alright and I don't have a hard time correcting it. It usually takes me five to ten minutes to correct a text, because there are mostly grammatical or orthographical mistakes. You're very good as far as style is concerned, so I don't have to think about that very much.
"Not to make a peep" would translate into German as follows: "Keinen Laut/Mucks machen". "Laut" would be Standard German, while "Mucks" would be the colloquial version. "Piepsen" refers mainly to birds and sounds funny in combination with a dog. "Fiepen", however, is the whimpering sound dogs sometimes make and has nothing to do with asthma. Your text was very good taking into regard that you wrote it entirely without the help of a dictionary. I wish I could write that well in Russian! EDIT: I just realized that the correct version of the idiom is "keinen Laut von sich geben" in Standard German vs. "keinen Mucks machen" in colloquial language. Sorry for the confusion! Edited by Josquin on 06 February 2013 at 7:51pm 3 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| BAnna Triglot Senior Member United States Joined 4623 days ago 409 posts - 616 votes Speaks: English*, German, Spanish Studies: Russian, Turkish | Message 37 of 236 11 February 2013 at 6:50am | IP Logged | ||
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@Josquin and Sunja: thanks for the ideas, explanations and words of encouragement. You are the best!
I was very busy this past week, but did manage to log around 12 hours, primarily due to my obsession with the book and audiobook of Die Stadt der Träumenden Bücher. I have about a hundred pages to go (and I think 2 or 3 more CDs). I finished reading Der Ehrliche Lehrer. After 500 pages, I was ready for that to end. Hmmm, what to read next? I am experimenting with uncorrected journaling: sitting down for 10 minutes and just writing in German whatever pops into my head. I remember my son doing this in school as an 8 year old or so. There is no thinking about grammar, spelling, etc. the goal is to just get ideas down on paper. As I recall, most of his included dinosaurs or things blowing up or both. In one of my skype conversations, I was almost incoherent (the others were fine). Maybe I was just tired after a crazy week. I didn't have a chance to look at teammates' logs after Tuesday. I hope to catch up tomorrow night after work. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| Maïwenn Diglot Groupie FranceRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 4370 days ago 56 posts - 72 votes Speaks: English*, French Studies: German, Mandarin, Breton | Message 38 of 236 11 February 2013 at 9:57am | IP Logged | ||
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The journaling is such a great idea!
And well done you getting in 12 hours on a busy week!! 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| BAnna Triglot Senior Member United States Joined 4623 days ago 409 posts - 616 votes Speaks: English*, German, Spanish Studies: Russian, Turkish | Message 39 of 236 17 February 2013 at 6:50am | IP Logged | ||
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A rework of something I wrote 4 months ago, but there's still room for improvement, and sorry it reads like a really bad TV script:
Ein Schutzmann bewachte den Tatort und hielt die neugierigen Leuten in angemessener Entfernung. Der Schutzmann begrüßt Schmidt. "Da hinten steht die Frau, die die Leiche entdeckt hatte", erklärte er Schmidt. Schmidt fragte die Putzfrau wie sie die Leiche entdeckt hatte. Sie zeigte ihm die Cointreau-Flasche und sie erzählte ihm, wie sie später den Körper des toten Mannes gefunden hatte. "Hier ist der Teufel los, sage ich Ihnen", sagte sie. Schmidt nahm ihren Namen und ihre Telefon-Nummer, dann bedankte er sich für ihre Hilfe. Schmidt schüttelte Herrn Brock, einem Beamten der Spurensicherung, die Hand. Herr Brock sagte: "Ich muss die Flasche sammeln und sie als Beweis ans Labor schicken. Die Leiche ist schon weggenommen. Gut, dass du da bist!", sagte er, "Aber warum bist du da eigentlich? Braucht man einen Privatdetektiv um einen Selbstmord zu ermitteln?" Schmidt starrte nur den Mann an. "Wahrscheinlich ist es ein Selbstmord, aber es ist besser sicher zu sein. Und vergesst nicht, du müßt viele Aufnahmen von der Blut-Pfütze machen." "Glaubst du ich habe nicht alle Tassen im Schrank?" erwiderte Brock verärgert. "Ich brauch nicht deine Hilfe, meinen Job zu erinnern." Schmidt wollte nicht offenbaren, dass der Besitzer der Reitschule ihn eingestellt hatte, weil er schlechte Presse nicht wollte. "Ich habe genug gesehen. Weißt du welchem Gerichtsmediziner der Fall gehört?", fragte Schmidt. "Ja, an deinem alten Freund, Herr Doktor Mayer." antwortete Brock. Schmidt lächelte. "Ein guter Mann. Danke, bis später." Schmidt ging zum Büro zurück. Er wusste, dass er auf die Leichenobduktion warten musste, aber er wusste auch, dass Mayer immer schnell arbeitete. Er war ein bisschen ungeduldig und wollte den Fall bald abschließen, weil er kein Interesse an Selbstmorden hatte. Er fand sie tragisch aber auch ein bisschen langweilig als Detektiv. Zwei Tage später, rief Schmidt Mayer an. "Hallo. Gibt es was neues mit dem Selbstmord-Fall?" Mayer klingt fast amüsiert, "An welchen Fall denkst du? Es gibt keinen Selbstmord-Fall, sondern einen Mordfall. Es ist ein großes Rätsel. Erstens, der Mann war tot bevor er fiel. Zweitens, gibt es sehr wenige Selbstmorde die sich dreimal im Herz stecken können ohne das Messer in der Hand zu halten. Drittens, der Mann hat keinen Alkohol zwar im Darm obwohl seine Kleidung voll Alkohol ist..." Schmidt fragte wissbegierig, "Wart mal. Wer ist er? Was sagen die Fingerabdrücke?" "Auf der Flasche gibt es keine. Das ist auch seltsam. Aber wir haben den Mann identifiziert: Er ist der Direktor eines Internats hier in der Stadt", sagte Mayer. "Na ja. Vielen Dank." Schmidt legte den Hörer auf und dachte, "Endlich habe ich ein herausforderndes Rätsel zu lösen." Er war aufgeregt und er klopfte mit den Fingern auf seinem Schreibtisch. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| Josquin Heptaglot Senior Member Germany Joined 4845 days ago 2266 posts - 3992 votes Speaks: German*, English, French, Latin, Italian, Russian, Swedish Studies: Japanese, Irish, Portuguese, Persian | Message 40 of 236 17 February 2013 at 12:25pm | IP Logged | ||
Quite an impressive text! There might still be some stylistical issues, but I think the grammatical corrections are more important at the moment. Try not to change the verb tense while writing and remember not to repeat the subject, if two main clauses are joined by "und". Will you write a continuation of that story? Edited by Josquin on 17 February 2013 at 12:27pm 1 person has voted this message useful |
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