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The Chinese can be blunt | ||
Tags: Mandarin | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Cultural Experiences in Foreign Languages |  | |
| Ari Heptaglot Senior Member Norway Joined 6582 days ago 2314 posts - 5695 votes  Speaks: Swedish*, English, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Mandarin, Cantonese Studies: Czech, Latin, German | Message 17 of 52 22 December 2006 at 4:38pm | IP Logged | ||
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I'm not sure which of my programs it is, but learning Mandarin, I've been warned that asking about salaries is a common question, whereas asking "how are you?" is consedered very personal. Which does have some logic. Your salary is more or less public, in a way, but how you're feeling, that's pretty personal. I've actually gotten annoyed at Americans and Britons asking me constantly how I am. Yeah, I know, it's just a politeness thing, but it does force me to lie to them if I'm not feeling good (or worse, start unloading my emotional baggage). I like the Swedish way of doing things: don't ask any questions, and don't talk with strangers at all :) But then I'm "reserved" by nature.
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| victor Tetraglot Moderator United States Joined 7318 days ago 1098 posts - 1056 votes 6 sounds Speaks: Cantonese*, English, FrenchC1, Mandarin Studies: Spanish Personal Language Map | Message 18 of 52 23 December 2006 at 11:45am | IP Logged | ||
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It's not like you actually have to answer the "Have you eaten yet?", "What is your job? Your salary?" and "Are you married? Do you have children?" questions truthfully anyway. If need be, make up an answer and ask the person back.
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| orion Senior Member United States Joined 7021 days ago 622 posts - 678 votes Speaks: English* Studies: German, Russian | Message 19 of 52 29 December 2006 at 2:18am | IP Logged | ||
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I don't think this is limited to Chinese people. A Dutch woman I used to work with was always quick to tell someone how fat they were, how they smell, how they should cut their hair etc. Other Dutch people I have met also do this. Maybe this is not considered rude in The Netherlands?
My old Chinese office mate was always very curious how much something cost. It never really bothered me too much, because I could always ask him the same thing and he never cared. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| muzikguy Bilingual Triglot Newbie United States Joined 6484 days ago 19 posts - 21 votes Speaks: English*, Mandarin*, Spanish Studies: Japanese, Italian | Message 20 of 52 28 April 2007 at 4:47pm | IP Logged | ||
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It's really not just the Chinese being blunt. It's the Americans being used to "polite" and "curteous" talk in front of aquaintances.
It's kind of like culture shock, but if I were in China for the first time and someone told me "you have a big stomach" or something, yeah, it'd be really shocking. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| sergiu Diglot Senior Member Romania freewebs.com/invata_ Joined 6439 days ago 105 posts - 108 votes Speaks: Romanian*, English Studies: German | Message 21 of 52 29 April 2007 at 12:07am | IP Logged | ||
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A Chinese guy told me how skinny I was(
60 kg and I've gained a lot of weight since then) ,and couldn't stop bringing that subject into our conversation, so of course I did what any normal person would do ...starting to mock him with anything I could think of ,since punching him in the face was not an option. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| Andy_Liu Triglot Senior Member Hong Kong leibby.comRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 6786 days ago 255 posts - 257 votes Speaks: Mandarin, Cantonese*, EnglishC2 Studies: French | Message 22 of 52 29 April 2007 at 1:39am | IP Logged | ||
One possible reason is the people in countries like mine are ethnically rather homogeneous. Even in HK, whites/Arabs/black people usually appear in tourist spots/airports/universities only. So, commoners may often find "foreign faces" to be peculiar and make strange comments on them. Asking about salary doesn't seem to be common here. It seems that privacy is less ... "respected" (?I may use the wrong word) in some mainland cities than here. Even some HK students have the same feeling when they study in places like Shanghai. I remember a line in Pimsleur Mandarin about the social view of the Chinese, something like "individual contribution/value is less important than the ?communal?/?social group". "Anorexia sufferers", or those who are crazy about weight (yet usually fail to lose weight), are just one of the groups who care too much about others' view on them. In HK, this issue is related to numerous social problems localers are facing. Prejudice seems to be something natural in many places... Edited by Andy_Liu on 29 April 2007 at 1:40am 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| owshawng Senior Member United States Joined 6886 days ago 202 posts - 217 votes Speaks: English* | Message 23 of 52 29 April 2007 at 10:33pm | IP Logged | ||
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I was shopping in an asian grocery store with my 2 year old son in Sydney. He was speaking mandarin and an old asian woman asked me if my wife was chinese. i told her Taiwanese. the woman looked at me, then to my son, then back to me and said "Your wife must be very good looking". and then walked away as i thanked her. A few seconds later I thought "WTF?" I think I was just insulted.
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| muzikguy Bilingual Triglot Newbie United States Joined 6484 days ago 19 posts - 21 votes Speaks: English*, Mandarin*, Spanish Studies: Japanese, Italian | Message 24 of 52 30 April 2007 at 4:20pm | IP Logged | ||
Older Chinese citizens sadly tend to be very narrow-minded on the subject of marriage. Many believe that it's unnatural for a native Chinese/Taiwanese woman or man to marry someone unChinese. I hope that kind of clears it up for you and makes you feel a little less offended. 1 person has voted this message useful |
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