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Language intimacy

 Language Learning Forum : Cultural Experiences in Foreign Languages Post Reply
37 messages over 5 pages: 1 2 3 4
wv girl
Diglot
Senior Member
United States
Joined 5050 days ago

174 posts - 330 votes 
Speaks: English*, French
Studies: Spanish

 
 Message 33 of 37
12 November 2011 at 1:24pm | IP Logged 
I went to France this summer and was delighted to speak French, even more delighted when everyone didn't
automatically switch over to English. I think, especially with women, language created a certain intimacy. My child's
father spoke no French, so I was the translator when English wasn't an option. When there was tension between us,
like when he decided he had to return early to the US, I of course was the one who had to exchange his tickets.   
The SNCF representative was very sympathetic, even sending me off with a "Bon courage." Some people wondered
why I spoke French and where I'd learned it. I was just pleased to understand and be understood.

Here in the US, even though my Spanish isn't great, if I use it in our local restaurant, I'll sometimes receive a free
treat. The waiter and waitress know me and always speak Spanish to me. We talk about our kids, the weather,
where they lived and worked before coming to our small town. Mind you, I'm not in Florida or California ... I think
they're happy to find someone who speaks some Spanish!
1 person has voted this message useful



Solfrid Cristin
Heptaglot
Winner TAC 2011 & 2012
Senior Member
Norway
Joined 5145 days ago

4143 posts - 8864 votes 
Speaks: Norwegian*, Spanish, Swedish, French, English, German, Italian
Studies: Russian

 
 Message 34 of 37
12 November 2011 at 5:52pm | IP Logged 
This varies greatly from language to language. Like you said, English wins you no intimacy or compliments, just a recognition that you are not a complete idiot. French neither. Even though I am fairly good at French, it does not get me any closer to them than to any other nation. They just take it for granted. I get compliments for my French, but no sense of belonging. German not really either, but that may be due to the fact that my German is weak and I use it very little. I have had a few compliments from Germans, they are generally very pleased that a foreigner is learning German, as that is getting less frequent.

Italian and Spanish is a whole different ball game. Spaniards and Italians are my friends, my family and my comrades the first time we meet. Spaniards usually shower me with compliments, and Italians too, though the latter have much less reason to than the former. I actually even get treated like that by Portuguese, just for speaking Spanish. If had believed in reincarnation, I would have thought that I was from a Mediterranean country in my previous life. I remember someone mentioning, that when speaking Swedish, they were adopted as one of the family by Danes and Norwegians as well, and that is how I feel.

In a business setting, if I meet new people very high up in their company hierarchy, the Spaniards will treat me like a family member, the French like I am "dirt under their shoes" as we would say in Norwegian. It is really quite strange to observe.
1 person has voted this message useful



DesEsseintes
Triglot
Newbie
Ireland
Joined 4993 days ago

33 posts - 68 votes 
Speaks: English, French*, Spanish
Studies: Croatian

 
 Message 35 of 37
17 November 2011 at 1:53pm | IP Logged 
Solfrid Cristin wrote:
This varies greatly from language to language. Like you said, English wins you no intimacy or compliments, just a recognition that you are not a complete idiot. French neither. Even though I am fairly good at French, it does not get me any closer to them than to any other nation. They just take it for granted. I get compliments for my French, but no sense of belonging. German not really either, but that may be due to the fact that my German is weak and I use it very little. I have had a few compliments from Germans, they are generally very pleased that a foreigner is learning German, as that is getting less frequent.

Italian and Spanish is a whole different ball game. Spaniards and Italians are my friends, my family and my comrades the first time we meet. Spaniards usually shower me with compliments, and Italians too, though the latter have much less reason to than the former. I actually even get treated like that by Portuguese, just for speaking Spanish. If had believed in reincarnation, I would have thought that I was from a Mediterranean country in my previous life. I remember someone mentioning, that when speaking Swedish, they were adopted as one of the family by Danes and Norwegians as well, and that is how I feel.

In a business setting, if I meet new people very high up in their company hierarchy, the Spaniards will treat me like a family member, the French like I am "dirt under their shoes" as we would say in Norwegian. It is really quite strange to observe.


As far as the French are concerned, I think it really depends on whom you're about to talk to.

Many French people just don't care about languages in general, that's a fact I can't deny, and it might as well explain why so far you've never received any compliment from those you tried to have a conversation with.

Nay, that's just something which may as well happen to you anywhere else in the world isn't it?

Now, from my (little) own experience, that problem you mentioned slightly disappears abroad, or simply when meeting people who are also interested in learning a foreign language, and who can therefore fathom how difficult it is to do so.

I've been living far from France for years now, and all the French I've had the opportunity to meet over these years really appreciated the efforts, even the slightest ones, made by non-natives. Again, I do think it has a lot to do with the fact that these French people had had to learn either English or Spanish, and understood the difficulty of doing so.
1 person has voted this message useful



Kisfroccs
Bilingual Pentaglot
Senior Member
Switzerland
Joined 5220 days ago

388 posts - 549 votes 
Speaks: French*, German*, EnglishC1, Swiss-German, Hungarian
Studies: Italian, Serbo-Croatian

 
 Message 36 of 37
21 November 2011 at 12:21am | IP Logged 
I'm learning Hungarian, and everytime - from the beginning to now - Hungarian were helpful, friendly and more than happy that I was learning Hungarian. I have a lot of positive experiences :

- A cook was serving me soup, 3 years ago, and I could only say "igen, nem, kicsi (yes, non, little) in Hungarian (I wasn't learning it at this time) and when I responded to him that I wanted a kicsi soup, I think I made his day. He smiled broadly, kept asking me questions in Hungarian (that I didn't understand :)), serving me more soup, more paprika, more wine... just because I said the word "kicsi".

- Last march, I had a conversation practically the whole train journey with an hungarian student and a mother and her little daughter. They were amazed that I was learning Hungarian and kept asking questions. Also when we had a delay, they phoned home to find out how much, so that they could report the new to me. I didn't know these person, but they took time to help me out (certainly 20 minutes on the phone...)

- My friend's family always made point that I understood them and playing games with me, memory games, reading newspaper and translating. They really took time to bring me a bit further in the language.

- There are a lot of beggar and homeless people in Budapest, and it's not rare that they approach you for money. I took time to speak one or two times with them, and when I said that I learned Hungarian, they were really overfriendly. Same with the violin/bracsa players.

- Old people. They just lit up when I say some phrases in Hungarian. I had an old woman who approached me in the street, because I was eating a palacsinta and she had just bought one. She then proceded to hush me up, cover me with compliments and telling me her life with her former french husband, al this in Hungarian. Another approached me in the bus, and when I said to him that I was learning Hungarian, he also told me practicaly his life, how he was learning German, that he was a doctor and if I needed help, I could always ask him. Before hurriedly leaving the bus because he missed his stop...

- Waiters refused that I paid until I said the price in Hungarian. I was also offered coffees, given adresses. And almost every person slowed down or tried to explain me in another fashion what she was trying to say.

- When I was in a little bar in the center, where I already had been last year in October, people greeted me and asked me how I was. I had been one year, I had been there for 10 days, never spoke to them, still they enquired about me. I found it a bit strange at first... but they were really sincere and forthcoming.

- In Switzerland, when I encounter Hungarian, they are always extastic and always gave me their number to help me with Hungarian.


For me, I don't think I had one negative reaction to learning Hungarian. People are always curious why I'm learning Hungarian. Often they are shoked that I like to come to Hungary (they don't understand why I would leave Switzerland - even for 3 days), but always friendly and giving me tips with Hungarian. Never been deceived !

Kisfröccs

2 persons have voted this message useful



mrpootys
Groupie
United States
Joined 5422 days ago

62 posts - 69 votes 
Speaks: English*

 
 Message 37 of 37
21 November 2011 at 4:46am | IP Logged 
Unfortunately here in Texas everyone and their brother speaks Spanish, so whoever you are, you wont get a second look. Hopefully, when I make it to Europe I will be able to elicit more than a few dropped jaws and pats on the back with my other languages.

If not, I'll just have to rely on my sexy American accent.




1 person has voted this message useful



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