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The Chinese can be blunt | ||
Tags: Mandarin | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Cultural Experiences in Foreign Languages |  | |
| Polyglot2005 Senior Member United States Joined 7188 days ago 184 posts - 185 votes  Speaks: English* Studies: Spanish | Message 1 of 52 14 August 2006 at 10:38pm | IP Logged |
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I read Keith's Mandarin Chinese story under "Success stories" and a comment he made caught my attention. Particularly "the Chinese will comment on your looks and appearance." In college I was involved with a girl from China and when i first met her she flat out said i had a big belly. I was rather shocked by the straightforwardness of it as we had just met. However as we got to know each other she did mention it again but she expressed that she was merely concerned for my health. Anyway that was only one person from China but that was my experience.
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| lady_skywalker Triglot Senior Member Netherlands aspiringpolyglotblog Joined 6890 days ago 909 posts - 942 votes Speaks: Spanish, English*, Mandarin Studies: Japanese, French, Dutch, Italian | Message 2 of 52 14 August 2006 at 11:32pm | IP Logged |
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Yes, the Chinese (and Taiwanese) are a little less than diplomatic about these things. I was in hospital here in Taiwan over the (Western) New Year recovering from an emergency operation and the nurses kept commenting on my weight and 'fat butt'. For the record, I weighed 55kg at the time and had had air pumped into my abdomen during the op, so I was hardly obese! The nurses even convinced my mum and I to stand on some scales in their office (we were still a little shell-shocked), where they proceeded to giggle and make fun of the fat foreigners (my mum weighs 50kg). My mum gave them a taste of their medicine by telling them that they were skinny, ugly and didn't have any tits (so eloquent)! Thank God they didn't understand much English!
What I find funny is that they are 'concerned about our health' and yet the average Taiwanese girl is verging on anorexia and looking about ready to collapse. 40kg is NOT a healthy weight for a woman in her 20s (one of the nurses actually weighed less than this!). I also find it ironic that they find our weight an issue when the air in Taiwan is so polluted and the food is not always hygenic. Not much concern for health there, I'm afraid! Edited by lady_skywalker on 14 August 2006 at 11:33pm 2 persons have voted this message useful | |
| delectric Diglot Senior Member China Joined 7181 days ago 608 posts - 733 votes Speaks: English*, Mandarin Studies: German | Message 3 of 52 15 August 2006 at 3:23am | IP Logged |
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Recently I was outside a shop in Nanjing with a friend who often went there to buy food and drink. He knew the owner (and her son) quite well.
Anyway my friend hardly speaks any Chinese and he's there doing his pleasantries to the shop owner. At the same time the little boy who is making a screaming racket starts shouting how ugly and stupid us laowai's are and what big noses we have etc. His mum just let him carry on, then I started talking to the boy. But, the boy just carried on shouting as obviously his mum had never told him, he was being rude and no doubt had copied the comments from his mum. Well she soon tried to stop him when I started talking to her in Chinese. I think this bluntness can work both ways as Chinese people may often compliment you too although this can seem overbearing as well. I've also got a little bit into the bluntness thing myself. I was back in the UK and I had a colleague who was built like a monster (Arnie style). No doubt EVERYONE upon meeting him couldn't help but think "what a gigantic man". I commented upon this when I met him but he thought I was coming on to him. I thought it was merely a complementary conversation opener about some sports hobby that was extremely important to him. Needless to say i'd just got back from China. Lady Skywalker, I can well feel sorry for you. Chinese girls are obsessed with their weight. It's not all bad though. When i've been out with Chinese friends and i've mentioned that a girl is pretty they've often not agreed saying that i'm going for fat dark skinned girls. On the other hand i've found their beauty ideal not ugly but more like an undeveloped girl. It just shows you that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| Captain Haddock Diglot Senior Member Japan kanjicabinet.tumblr. Joined 6768 days ago 2282 posts - 2814 votes Speaks: English*, Japanese Studies: French, Korean, Ancient Greek | Message 4 of 52 15 August 2006 at 5:24am | IP Logged |
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The Japanese will also point out your weight, telling you that you're fat (if you are). It's not bluntness, though; it's simply a cultural difference between what is and is not considered rude. When I arrived in Japan, several people (whom I consider polite) remarked to me that I was fat.
If there's an unhealthy attitude towards the subject, I think it's the North American one where we avoid calling a person "fat" at all costs. As a result, the average Canadian or American is significantly overweight while everyone pretends otherwise. Incidentally, I've lost 45 pounds this year, and no one calls me fat any more. :) Other things Japanese think it's normal to talk about, that might embarrass a Westerner: age and salary. Those are among the first questions a Japanese person might ask you. 1 person has voted this message useful | |
 jeff_lindqvist Diglot Moderator SwedenRegistered users can see my Skype Name Joined 6909 days ago 4250 posts - 5711 votes Speaks: Swedish*, English Studies: German, Spanish, Russian, Dutch, Mandarin, Esperanto, Irish, French Personal Language Map | Message 5 of 52 15 August 2006 at 6:33am | IP Logged |
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In my edition of Teach Yourself Chinese there is some information on "Chinese straight talking" - that Chinese are likely to ask what you paid for your house, TV, car, if you're married, have children (and perhaps why not!)...
Earlier this year I chatted with a Chinese guy who in the first couple of minutes asked me if my job paid well. 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| delectric Diglot Senior Member China Joined 7181 days ago 608 posts - 733 votes Speaks: English*, Mandarin Studies: German | Message 6 of 52 15 August 2006 at 1:51pm | IP Logged |
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I think perhaps things like asking how much you earn is a reflection of a more collective society/consciousness where there's less individual privacy. Chinese people are often amazed at how much time I (and other foreigners) can spend on our own.
Company is nice but at times Chinese people just can't take the hint about when it's time to go home and they just can't understand that people would want private time. Even in the doctors you will go in a room with all the other patients there. The other patients may even push in and the doctor could be treating two people at the same time. I had a friend who had a VERY personal problem. I didn't want to ask, but I doubt at the doctors he had any privacy and it must have been pretty embarrassing dropping his pants in front of the other patients there. On the other hand no doubt everyone was there for a similar reason. 1 person has voted this message useful | |
| victor Tetraglot Moderator United States Joined 7318 days ago 1098 posts - 1056 votes 6 sounds Speaks: Cantonese*, English, FrenchC1, Mandarin Studies: Spanish Personal Language Map | Message 7 of 52 16 August 2006 at 12:43pm | IP Logged |
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Sometimes they can get pretty realistic. At a lot of hospitals, as long as you are willing to pay 10x the fee than for locals, you can get extra services like a private room, air conditioning, personalized service, and even jumping the queue and going before everybody else...
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| delectric Diglot Senior Member China Joined 7181 days ago 608 posts - 733 votes Speaks: English*, Mandarin Studies: German | Message 8 of 52 16 August 2006 at 2:09pm | IP Logged |
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Jumping all types of queues is a common custom in China even in the poorer hospitals :)
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