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The Chinese can be blunt | ||
Tags: Mandarin | ||
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 Language Learning Forum : Cultural Experiences in Foreign Languages |  | |
| Raincrowlee Tetraglot Senior Member United States Joined 6702 days ago 621 posts - 808 votes  Speaks: English*, Mandarin, Korean, French Studies: Indonesian, Japanese | Message 9 of 52 16 August 2006 at 9:50pm | IP Logged | ||
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This is a topic that I should be very careful about responding to, because I've been in Taiwan for four years, and I might sound a little bitter.
But I'll play the devil's advocate and ask y'all a question: why do these questions bother you? I understand the 'fat' comments being annoying, since it's coming from a bunch of anorexia/bulemia sufferers, but why does it bother you that they ask you about your salary? Or cut in line? Hmmm? I have my theories, but I'd like to hear yours first. 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| lady_skywalker Triglot Senior Member Netherlands aspiringpolyglotblog Joined 6890 days ago 909 posts - 942 votes Speaks: Spanish, English*, Mandarin Studies: Japanese, French, Dutch, Italian | Message 10 of 52 16 August 2006 at 10:25pm | IP Logged | ||
Frankly, the 'fat' comments and 'smelly foreigners' ones got tiresome a long time ago and I just tell the offenders that they're either 'rude' (in Mandarin) or simply ignore the comments (I tend to do the latter lately as I'd rather not waste my time and breath on ignorant people). So these doesn't bother me that much any more as I just put it down to either a lack of education or lack of knowledge of what 'healthy' constitutes here. Cutting in line? Sometimes bothers me but then again, this has happened to me pretty much everywhere, including the UK and even my homeland. So not a big deal, although I still consider it a little inconsiderate. I've never had the wage question here because I don't have a job here and even if I did I would lie about the amount. It's not like they'd check up on it, right? :) To be honest, after having lived in China for a year, the whole 'waiguoren' thing no longer bothers me here in Taiwan as much as it did over there. I'm just surprised that the 'modern Westernised' Taiwan display the same ignorance as their Communist brethren, although in the latter case it is understandable as it was isolated from the world until recently. I personally found the Japanese to be a LOT more inviting of foreigners and felt a lot more at ease and more welcome there than I have ever felt in my year in Taiwan. Now, if someone chatters on about the 'Americans' in their midst (neither my partner or I are American) or make a point of pointing in our direction, I just point at them and say loudly 'Hey, look at the Chinese over there'. I've shut up many a person with that one. Rude? Perhaps. But maybe it'll teach a few people to be a little more discrete. After all, if I made the sort of comments about East Asian folk in the UK or Europe as I've heard said about me and other foreigners here, I'd be branded a racist. Double standards? No, what really bothers me is having random strangers bursting into my room when I was recovering from fairly major surgery on New Year's Day and making insensitive comments and gawking at me as if I was from outer space. That and having some guy break into our room and stealing my mum's wallet while she was helping my around the ward (but I guess this can happen anywhere). My mum (who happened to be here at the time) did not get a very good impression of the Taiwanese, even though she thought the Chinese were lovely and she left here feeling a little traumatised. Despite all that, we can't fault the medical service I received (and this was at a public hospital!). My doctor was one of the nicest people I've ever met and the nurses were very professional, aside from a few cases of girlish giggles whenever my partner was around. The whole experience has left me a little worse for wear too, both physically and mentally, so yes, I am a little bitter and maybe I should have just left Taiwan when I was able to get on a plane. If it hadn't been for the fact that my partner was on a work contract and that breaking it could have cost him his job, I would have bid farewell to this island a long time ago.... 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| delectric Diglot Senior Member China Joined 7181 days ago 608 posts - 733 votes Speaks: English*, Mandarin Studies: German | Message 11 of 52 17 August 2006 at 3:45am | IP Logged | ||
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I've had many people push in bank queues I find this irritating as I may well have waited for quite a while or even if i'm putting a lot of money into the bank it doesn't feel safe having someone buzz around you at the bank counter. As for bus queues where your fighting for a place on the bus to get a seat that can just be dangerous.
Actually I don't really care too much about Chinese people making comments about foreigners as I don't always go round feeling i'm a foreigner in the forefront of my mind. Though I do get annoyed at random people shouting at you in the street especially when I just want to be left alone. The asking how much you earn question is not always good because on one hand I usually earn a lot more than the person asking and so I feel a little guilty. Also you do get the feeling that there's an ulterior motive for asking this question. Maybe once they think you have a high salary they will butter you up for something in the future. I've had a few people asking if they can send their children to live with me in England or that I be the child's godfather! Really I don't think they're aware of how much it costs to bring up a child in the west. Also it seems that if you only know someone a year (not really well) they shouldn't ask you to be the godfather of their child it just seems a little calculating to me. 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| Captain Haddock Diglot Senior Member Japan kanjicabinet.tumblr. Joined 6768 days ago 2282 posts - 2814 votes Speaks: English*, Japanese Studies: French, Korean, Ancient Greek | Message 12 of 52 17 August 2006 at 6:08am | IP Logged | ||
I've heard (at least in Japan) they ask partly because they will be happy for you if you're well provided for. 2 persons have voted this message useful | |||
| nhk9 Senior Member Canada Joined 6804 days ago 290 posts - 319 votes Speaks: English* | Message 13 of 52 22 August 2006 at 1:02am | IP Logged | ||
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The Chinese are used to "comparing" with others. This is probably the reason why they would ask about your salary and whether you have a car or not. However, normally they wouldn't ask exactly how much you make, but would ask for a "salary range". So if you say you are a doctor, they might ask, hey how much are doctors paid in your country etc. Of course, there's this whole art of deflecting these questions. It does take some skills though. Vague (and useful) responses if you want to keep things private would be "enough for me to keep my bills paid up" etc. It would be abnormal for the person to ask again.
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| anothermember Newbie United Kingdom Joined 6711 days ago 12 posts - 13 votes Speaks: English* Studies: Japanese | Message 14 of 52 31 August 2006 at 8:09am | IP Logged | ||
Well actually "fat" comments wouldn't bother me, if its a cultural thing I could get used to it and even accept it as just part of the cultural experience. Same as with age comments, its only the truth. I don't really mind if people look at me or comment because I'm "foreign", infact they can have a good look if they want, I don't see why I should be offended if they're just curious/interested. What would really bother me, and take some getting used to, is asking my salary. I'd probably accept it, again, as just a cultural thing, but inside it might bother me. Why? Because I don't live for money, to me my life's work, whatever I do, is worth much more to me than money. To put a price on what I do, to me, it lessens its value. I still work hard but money-wise all I care about is having "enough". And "cutting in line", that also annoys me, but if I was in someone else's country I would accept it a lot more as its probably a cultural thing. I've always been brought up to wait my turn and told that cutting in is selfish, helping only yourself, thats my attitude, different cultures can think differently of course. Edited by anothermember on 31 August 2006 at 8:19am 1 person has voted this message useful | |||
| TDC Triglot Senior Member United States Joined 6921 days ago 261 posts - 291 votes Speaks: English*, Mandarin, French Studies: Esperanto, Ukrainian, German, Italian, Spanish, Russian, Persian | Message 15 of 52 27 September 2006 at 2:31pm | IP Logged | ||
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If they ask you something you don't want to tell them just say "zhe shi wo de mimi" this is my secret.
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| Clintaroo Diglot Senior Member Australia Joined 6871 days ago 189 posts - 201 votes Speaks: English*, Japanese Studies: Tagalog, Indonesian | Message 16 of 52 28 September 2006 at 3:22am | IP Logged | ||
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Interesting examples... I must admit, on more than one occasion I have been told by Chinese, 'Wow, you have such white skin!' within the first five minutes of a meeting. I've also been informed of my blue eyes and blonde hair... as if I didn't know about them hehe. But it's fine. I don't feel uncomfortable and understand that it's just one aspect of many cultural differences.
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