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The Chinese can be blunt

  Tags: Mandarin
 Language Learning Forum : Cultural Experiences in Foreign Languages Post Reply
52 messages over 7 pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6
yawn
Bilingual Tetraglot
Senior Member
United States
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141 posts - 209 votes 
Speaks: English*, Mandarin*, FrenchC2, SpanishC2
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 Message 49 of 52
10 February 2011 at 4:18am | IP Logged 
This thread has been extremely amusing to read. :)

I'm Chinese too, although I've been sort of "whitewashed" after living in predominantly Westernized countries for
a while. I still remember visiting my grandfather's family in China, and one of his sisters had a granddaughter
who was 11 years old (I was 14 at the time). Right after introducing ourselves, she began making comments
about my appearance, and even reached forward to straighten the collar of my shirt, haha. She also did things
like randomly brushing lint off my jacket and picking some of it out of my hair. It was freaky because she was
acting like my mom even though she was 3 years younger than me! I was really shocked at first and thought she
was being unnecessarily rude and bold. I thought about telling her mom, but then realized that her mother acted
exactly the same way towards my mom lol! I ended up having to get used to it.

Don't worry, though - she's a nice kid. She was like any other 11 year old - full of energy and extremely chatty,
though she did surprise me with how blunt she could be sometimes. :)
3 persons have voted this message useful



mrwarper
Diglot
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Spain
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Joined 5226 days ago

1493 posts - 2500 votes 
Speaks: Spanish*, EnglishC2
Studies: German, Russian, Japanese

 
 Message 50 of 52
04 June 2011 at 3:55am | IP Logged 
Extremely amusing indeed :)

My experience with Chinese people is limited to two families with whom I am friends and good friends (which is extremely good, because they own my two favorite Chinese restaurants), but for a while I became a specialist in offending (and being offended by) the Japanese, when I was actively looking for language exchange partners. Strange things and completely unexpected reactions happened all the time, other friends would tell me about clues I might have missed, things they probably didn't take well, etc. until one day I realized something very simple that somehow many others and I managed to miss most of the time, as I see here.

Just think about this: of course, it is possible that the complete stranger you met at random and annoys you so much is a dreadful idiot that disliked you at first sight and made a personal mission of getting on your nerves. But just how likely is that? And what if it's not a perfect stranger but a friend's friend who was introduced to you with probably the best of intentions (like finding a partner for you)? What are the chances that [s]he wants to annoy or offend you? One in a zillion? So I always try and take the effort to explain it when I consider something offensive, and if someone looks worried or about to jump or something I usually ask, 'do you usually offend people intendedly? Because I don't, so please tell me if you're upset'. Sometimes I even use that as a sort of disclaimer or ice-breaker.

It works wonders 90% of the time, and when it doesn't, well, sometimes it's just as good to know who your self-declared enemies, or the over-sensitive ones might be.

On a different cultural note -- I had a very interesting conversation with some Lithuanian acquaintance once, about whether having a drunken fight that resulted in some serious bruising and black eyes the next day was to be considered a very bad thing or just 'pretty menial nightly fun'. We agreed not to go out to drink together by night, just in case. Talk about cultural differences :)
1 person has voted this message useful



vientito
Senior Member
Canada
Joined 6338 days ago

212 posts - 281 votes 

 
 Message 51 of 52
12 June 2011 at 5:40am | IP Logged 
One thing you could count on though

No matter how much your Chinese folks want to know about the salary you are making, they
definitely would never ask you how you get on with your sex life ;)


1 person has voted this message useful



leosmith
Senior Member
United States
Joined 6550 days ago

2365 posts - 3804 votes 
Speaks: English*
Studies: Tagalog

 
 Message 52 of 52
12 June 2011 at 7:22am | IP Logged 
no major culture would


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