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Directness of your country or your TL

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49 messages over 7 pages: 1 2 3 4 57  Next >>
Josquin
Heptaglot
Senior Member
Germany
Joined 4658 days ago

2266 posts - 3992 votes 
Speaks: German*, English, French, Latin, Italian, Russian, Swedish
Studies: Japanese, Irish, Portuguese, Persian

 
 Message 41 of 49
27 June 2012 at 6:34pm | IP Logged 
COF wrote:
For what? Refuting his clearly inaccurate observation that all British people are obsessed with money?

The only one who is obsessed with delusions of all kind is you, but I think this problem will be solved soon.
5 persons have voted this message useful



COF
Senior Member
United States
Joined 5645 days ago

262 posts - 354 votes 
Speaks: English*

 
 Message 42 of 49
27 June 2012 at 6:42pm | IP Logged 
Josquin wrote:
COF wrote:
For what? Refuting his clearly inaccurate observation that all British people are obsessed with money?

The only one who is obsessed with delusions of all kind is you, but I think this problem will be solved soon.


Quote:
This I believe is a big difference compared to the British. In London I heard people discuss money all the time. (Rents, school fees, bonuses, you name it.)


He puts it as if everyone in London is rich. I suspect the inhabitants of London are no richer on average than the inhabitants of Paris.
3 persons have voted this message useful



Josquin
Heptaglot
Senior Member
Germany
Joined 4658 days ago

2266 posts - 3992 votes 
Speaks: German*, English, French, Latin, Italian, Russian, Swedish
Studies: Japanese, Irish, Portuguese, Persian

 
 Message 43 of 49
27 June 2012 at 6:46pm | IP Logged 
He said "In London I heard people discuss money all the time". He didn't say people in London were rich, he didn't say they were all bankers, and he didn't say they all got bonuses. He simply stated people in London talked about money a lot compared to people in France. Whatever you thought he wrote was a pure product of your imagination.

Now, I'm not going to discuss this any longer. Please back to the topic.
3 persons have voted this message useful



Medulin
Tetraglot
Senior Member
Croatia
Joined 4482 days ago

1199 posts - 2192 votes 
Speaks: Croatian*, English, Spanish, Portuguese
Studies: Norwegian, Hindi, Nepali

 
 Message 44 of 49
27 June 2012 at 8:34pm | IP Logged 
What does it mean, ''direct''?
If you, by that, mean ''judgmental'' and/or ''opinionated''

Croatia is 10/10, people are direct and (need to) have a firm opinion on everything, be it American elections, war in Syria or Argentina nationalizing its main oil company...

Why are you asking us a question, if you don't want to get a direct and sincere answer? If you want some kinda diplomatic answer, it would be more polite, not to be asking anything in the 1st place...It's how Croatians think...

Italy, Spain and much of Latin America are something like 8-9/10
pretty direct, and opinionated

UK and Scandinavia are something like 1-2, people tend to be diplomatic, and when you ask them something, they might reply: I don't know (even they have a position on the matter, they keep it to themselves).

Germany and Benelux...around 5-7/10

USA...difficult to generalize, some people are like the English (no position on anything), while some are direct...so, 3-6/10, Some Americans are too direct asking you questions like ''How much money do you earn'' and ''How many girls have you f*cked lately?''




Edited by Medulin on 27 June 2012 at 9:03pm

3 persons have voted this message useful



Serpent
Octoglot
Senior Member
Russian Federation
serpent-849.livejour
Joined 6411 days ago

9753 posts - 15779 votes 
4 sounds
Speaks: Russian*, English, FinnishC1, Latin, German, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese
Studies: Danish, Romanian, Polish, Belarusian, Ukrainian, Croatian, Slovenian, Catalan, Czech, Galician, Dutch, Swedish

 
 Message 45 of 49
28 June 2012 at 12:54am | IP Logged 
Very interesting!!! For some reason I thought Croatians were more subtle than Russians.
1 person has voted this message useful



Umin
Triglot
Newbie
Germany
despairedreading.worRegistered users can see my Skype Name
Joined 4361 days ago

37 posts - 52 votes 
Speaks: German*, EnglishC2, Japanese
Studies: French, Mandarin

 
 Message 46 of 49
28 June 2012 at 2:41am | IP Logged 
I find it hard to judge directness as it often depends on certain situations. I'm not sure if you can judge a culture over all - you might sooner or later encounter a situation that destroys the whole image you had of the culture's directness or indirectness.

For example, I see that a lot of people in/from Germany get very direct once they are asked for their opinion on, let's say a presentation. Obviously is the same for me, as I'm German, too.

However, it seems to be absolutely uncommon (as far as I can judge) to tell a person directly when you have a problem with them or what you say would be seen as judgemental towards them. You will probably talk to others about the person in question and/or try to get the person to understand what bugs you by using subtle, sometimes almost invisible signs like body language, or by stating things that seem unrelated to any person at first glance.
For example, let's say A has a co-worker B with a strong body odor. B apparently doesn't use any deodorant. A has to sit in an office together with B for 8 hours a day and is really heavily annoyed, but doesn't dare to say anything to B directly. If A asks someone else for advice, they will probably tell him to just open the window once in a while, saying "we should get some fresh air." If this doesn't work, A might get more "direct" by saying things like "there's some bad air in here, let's open the window," or even "it smells funny in here, let's get some fresh air."
If the problem still doesn't work out, it could happen that B will one day find a bottle of deodorant on his desk.

Another thing that's almost unthinkable in Germany is to talk about your wages. Some companies even write into the contract you sign with them that you aren't allowed to talk to anybody about the wages. I was completely shocked when I saw the blog of a Japanese friend of mine who freely stated how much (or in that case rather how little) his dad earns per month. I would probably rather seal my mouth than tell anybody about my parents' wages, even though I even know them (most people don't.)

In a culture that's totally direct, the two things mentioned above are things you'd just say right away whenever it fits into the conversation somehow.

Edited by Umin on 28 June 2012 at 2:42am

1 person has voted this message useful



Ogrim
Heptaglot
Senior Member
France
Joined 4453 days ago

991 posts - 1896 votes 
Speaks: Norwegian*, English, Spanish, French, Romansh, German, Italian
Studies: Russian, Catalan, Latin, Greek, Romanian

 
 Message 47 of 49
28 June 2012 at 11:20am | IP Logged 
COF wrote:
Ogrim wrote:
However, there are certain topics, like money, where it would be very rude to ask a direct question. The French will never ask someone how much they earn or how big their mortgage is. This I believe is a big difference compared to the British. In London I heard people discuss money all the time. (Rents, school fees, bonuses, you name it.)


You say it as if all British people are high flying bankers who earn huge bonuses every year and have nothing else to talk about but money.

Your perception of the UK and the wealth of the majority of its population is WAY OFF.

Who actually discusses bonuses all the time? Only top bankers in the UK get bonuses, and they make up 1% of the UK population at most, if not less than that.

I just find it implausable that you heard people discussing bonuses all the time in London. It's not as if everyone in London is a banker, unless you spent your time in the cafeteria of a big bank or something?


I do not intend to enter into a debate with this forum member, who apparently is not aware of the big public debate in the UK about bankers' bonuses (and how unreasonable the big majority of British tax payers think they are), nor how people struggle to pay inflated rents or manage their mortgages on a normal salary. My point was that in UK you do talk about these things, as well as your personal finances, with your friends, something the French seem to avoid. End of discussion.

Edit: And thanks to the other forum members who have posted replies above.



Edited by Ogrim on 28 June 2012 at 11:48am

2 persons have voted this message useful



SueK
Groupie
United States
Joined 4565 days ago

77 posts - 133 votes 
Studies: Mandarin

 
 Message 48 of 49
05 July 2012 at 7:29pm | IP Logged 
I had an coworker from India point (literally) at an age spot on my face and ask what it was. In America, pointing out a physical flaw is generally considered rude, and I was uncomfortable and embarrassed. She was so obviously just curious and innocent of any malintent that overall, I found it some how endearing. I mean, she didn't wisper behind my back or jusdge, right?   She just asked. No real harm.

I've been working with folks from China recently am terribly frustrated with them and what I take to be actions regarding the concept of face. If you think I'm wrong, say so. I have been wrong before and will be wrong again. It won't hurt me. If you have an opinion, voice it, even if it disagrees with someone else's. This is a business environment and the idea of doing the wrong thing for the business just to not risk costing someone face is driving me nuts. I'm so tired of guessing what people really think!

Strange how what I can only call politeness and consideration from the Chinese is driving me nuts, where 'rude' (to my culture) was perfectly acceptable! Based on Medulin's description of the Croatians, I think I should like them very much!


2 persons have voted this message useful



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